I am a gay black male and i am going to kill myself just a matter of when but my question is how dose one say good bye with out leaving clues?

I think you may be a white homophobic troll.
If not, please use this site. http://www.suicide.org/gay-and-lesbian-suicide.html
1-866-4-U-TREVOR

Without leaving clues to what? Are you saying that you want to meet your friends and family face-to-face to say good-bye without letting them know WHY you're saying good-bye?

I don't know your situation but as a person that attempted suicide in 1992 let me give you a short list of the things that have happened since:

Got sober
Fell in love
Got married
My mom died
Had 2 really pretty kids
My dad got diagnosed with cancer
Bought a great house for my kids to grow up in
I lost my job
I woke up this morning

As you can see, life doesn't get easier, but it does throw you a bone every now and then. Attempting suicide was the most cowardly thing I've ever done in my life and I thank God I failed.

Again, your situation may be different from mine. It probably is, but I think that if you are dead set to do this don't candy ass around with going to all of your friends and family for some cryptic purpose that they won't understand until you're dead.

Write a detailed note about why you're doing this: Life is hard, can't take it anymore, it's not your fault it's mine, don't cry for me Argentina, blah, blah, blah.

Also, DO NOT kill yourself in a place where your family or friends may find you. That is the last image they will have of you and you don't want your mom walking in to find you hanging by the neck from the closet hanger rod. Don't jump off a roof. That doesn't make for a good looking corpse.

Again, I'm not here to talk you out of it and give you that whole "life will be better tomorrow" speech (I actually am a little but whatever.)

How about this; you say you're going to kill yourself but it's just a matter of "when." Fine. Tell yourself that you'll kill yourself tomorrow. Keep telling yourself that every day. In the meantime, life moves on and throws you those bones I was talking about.

One other thing just occurred to me about your question. What does being a gay, black male have to do with your suicidal tendencies?

Anyway, I wish you the best. You're going to leave a shitload of pain and suffering for your family to deal with, but I guess it's better that they'll have to deal with it and you won't.

Well, thank God you weren't a straight white female, or detroying yourself wouldn't have made any sense. But since you're black, gay and male, I see your point. It's a perfectly reasonable course of action.

Oh, I can't forget the best part! I just love the way you plan on making your final exit. Leaving those who love you completely in the dark is a stroke of sheer brilliance! That way, they can be sad and miserable for as long as they live, having no explanation from you. Gosh, I'm sorry we're not related. I really hate missing out on all that!

& you want to commit suicide & leave behind confused & distraught loved ones...why?

I think they may notice when they have to bury your body.

That depends. Why do you want to kill yourself?

ok i was raised in the foster care system then with alcholic relitives who let me know i was good for nothing from the moment i woke up until i went to bed or just beat the shit out of me cause they where drunk and needed to pass the time i made myself finish high school and put myself though college with out help from anyone i dont realy know what its like to be in a family and to be honest from the way i have seen people treat others i dont think i missed anything i have been raped as a child more than once i realy dont know what its like to care for someone or have someone give a damn but all of this i have delt with

Why do you want to do that...

You shouldn't kill yourself man. Being black and being gay are both hard in America. But you gotta try to find some strength so you can move forward. Life has very extreme ups and downs, and you have to stick around for when it goes back up again. Don't let the negative people in the world get the last laugh. Be proud of who you are, even if it seems like nobody else is proud of you. You're the only YOU that will ever exist, don't end that existence prematurely man. And don't talk to these self-righteous pricks in here about anything like that, because they can't wait to put you down. Good luck homie.

does it really matter if you are "gay", "black", or "male"??? if you really wanted to die, you wouldn't have come on and announced that you wanted to do it "with out leaving clues" ... so if you do decide to kill yourself, i for one won't miss your existence one iota ... but if you have friends and family, they will ... and that's a pretty selfish thing to do ... so way to think only of yourself

when you die you will face God, and it will be like facing the cold hard Truth. if you can't handle the Truth, i recommend you work on that before you face what your not ready for. lest you find yourself in forever darkness.

why would you do that that is not kool man. i am not gay and probably dont know wat your going through but i am a blck young 18 year old gurl and im willing to help you i hope thats not wat you want to do. i dont know about that saying goodbye wit out leaving clues. just think about all the people that will miss you me please just do go through wit dis

First of all, you need to recognize that as painful as it may be emotionally for you, killing yourself is just the easy way out. You may feel ostracized for not generally being accepted by society, but that doesn't mean that everyone doesn't accept you. If society doesn't fit what your ideal situation for society then don't give up, help future people that will experience the same things you are now.
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"Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff." - Burn After Reading.
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What exactly is it that you're looking to accomplish by saying bye without the clues? To satisfy your own personal emotions? If you did commit suicide then you accomplishing that essentially is your "good-bye." I've tried to help convince you otherwise, if you are indeed serious, however, leaving a well thought out letter to those you leave behind should be extremely high on your priorities. If no one knows why you are doing it then we will not be any closer to correcting it so someone else doesn't do it.
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I am in no way an expert at helping convince others not to commit suicide, but I have spent quite a bit of time on the subject (no, I have not been close to committing suicide.) I have reasonable and logical explanations that might help you decide to think otherwise, if you are interested. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you are.

Um, I think you just eliminated that possibility with this question.

ya can t if you don t wanna leave clues don t say goodbye

Well, firstly... don't mention thoughts of suicide in a public forum where thousands of people will read your musings on the idea. I don't know about you, but I'd call that a clue.

Secondly... Suicide is a rather permanent solution to what is "always" a temporary problem.

So what's your problem? I'm afraid that being gay, black and a man, doesn't make sufficient criteria for ending it all in my book. Neither does "the man I love is straight" or "my boyfriend has run off with someone else".

It's time to pick yourself up, dry your tears and start again. That's what we do. That's how you get by in this crazy world. And it's a big world... so big that there's even a place for you.

All you have to do, is keep trying until you find it.

Hope this helps.

What an aweful thing to do. Life's not that bad.

Send everyone letters. They will arrive by the time you kick the bucket.

Have fun with that.

you can stop by posting you are going to commit suicide on the internet

Very difficult. Not only do you have to make it look like an accident, but you have to make sure you succeed, otherwise you could be a gay, brain-damaged black male.

You would do better to think about those who would suffer if you died. Unless you lived your life in a total vacuum (and very few people do that) then your loss will leave a gaping hole in other people's lives.

Far better to have the determination to carry on, and who knows, life could eventually improve for you.

i look at the above responses to your question and i feel that there are an awful lot of people who care about you - people who don't even know you - call us "future friends". it's difficult to be gay in america and probably black, too. i don't know how difficult it is for the combination. i've known a few gay black friends. it's probably harder to come out within the black subculture for guys.
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first, i suggest that you talk to someone. a counselor, doctor, gay friend.
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second, i'd find your nearest gay community. we all need the support of others, and you can almost always find it there. if not, look at the next nearest community.
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third, i don't know your situation and why you think that you'd like to kill yourself ... it would be nice if you shared more about yourself ...
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it's hard to kill ourselves without leaving clues. the people who love us, care about us, and will feel hurt by our violently killing ourself find out and are hurt and saddened and their lives are hurt ... forever ...
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the ultimate act of courage is to face our fears, usually, at least in my case, while holding the hands of two brave friends!
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if you feel more like talking, feel free to write in comments.

So, you're a gay black male?

you tell them how much you love them and when they ask why just tell them that you dont say it enough...btw how are you going to do it? you gonna put the smoking gun in your mouth (no jk intened) stab your self(again no jk)or choke your self to death (okay that was a jk) srry couldnt resist

You will live again and go through the same agony because you killed yourself. That would be a failing mark from the man upstairs. Live through and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Join a group that can help each other. Donate your time and develope some skill so you can help others that cannot help themselfs. The easy way out could be disaster. Accept what you are and be proud, you were part of the plan, now how you react to that will be part of another plan. So forget that, Kill myself attitude, that's the cowardly way to leave life. Life is one of the most precious thing a person has. Kill yourself and you might return worst off, maybe a gay elephant?, think of all that weight it has to carry. Kiss it up and live..

um thanks everyone even the people who where trying to make a point by being smartasses i should never put this on here i was better off not sayin anything at all and i know that now but it looks like we make mistakes thanks again and good luck to those of you who have the streanght and courage to contine and for those that dont find someone who can give you that please dont follow my path trust me its a dead end

its amusing how people can be so "helpful when they dont know real pain for those of u that are trying to help thank you and may whatever god u worship bless you but its not nessisary.i feel nothing anymore besides rage or depression and my head is going to crack soon i just want a way to say good bye with talkng to anyone but letting them know i cared as much as i knew how

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

What? Say good bye?! Why would anyone say good bye anyway??

Killing yourself will not end any pain you have, I believe you will just lock yourself into ETERNAL MISERY far worse than anything here on earth!! Dont do it, death would NOT end any problems you have. Life is hard sometimes and we all want to give up, but if suicide was a way out a lot more people would be doing it. You will experience no relief!

Well, I don't usually read 32 responses but this time I did and I see several of them are you clarifying your situation.

You had a terribly traumatic childhood, but you rose above it and put yourself through highschool. You were abused but you got yourself away from those people. You never really knew a family but you have friends that you obviously care about and believe they care about you - friends are the family we choose for ourselves!

It seems to me that you had the courage and the strength to get yourself through some dreadful times and now you decide that, in a year, you are going to throw youself off a bridge at midnight, drugged up on morphine and drunk on Grey Goose!

Why?

We can't control the shit that life throws at us but we take full responsibility for how we deal with it - how come the very young you was so much braver, and more mature? Life can change in a heartbeat for the better as well as for the worse.....what if you threw yourself off that bridge just before the moment of your life happened?

Well, you say your mind is made up so little point in me waffling further - but perhaps you should spend the next year doing something nice for each of those friends - when they ask why just tell them it's your gift to them. When you are gone they can look back, fondly remember the memory you created together and wonder why on Earth, if you thought so much of them, you didn't let them help you deal with your pain and get you out of the spiral of depression and anger!

First off, I'm going to give you the customary don't kill yourself speech. I was once so despondent that I was going to kill myself. Six months later my life turned around and I was ecstatically happy and couldn't believe I seriously contemplated suicide only a few months before.
If you are foolish enough to go through with it just slip some letters to whomever you want to say goodbye to and it will take about 2 days for the letters to arrive. By that time you would be gone and would not tip anyone off to your intentions until after the fact.
I am NOT recommending that but it was part of my plan when I foolishly considered suicide.

Killing yourself will not end any pain you have, I believe you will just lock yourself into ETERNAL MISERY far worse than anything here on earth!! Dont do it, death would NOT end any problems you have. Life is hard sometimes and we all want to give up, but if suicide was a way out a lot more people would be doing it. You will experience no relief!

best way is to not kill yourself cause youre a long time dead mate its not worth it and it will get better. i think that you need to talk to someone who is not involved, youd be surprised just how much that can help i should know, stay strong and keep going. please post a reply and let us know that you're all right

Why would you do that? The world would never be the same without you. YOu're unique and valuable and must not diminish your worth by taking your own life. Please rethink this decision.