Why are Asian parents so strict and uptight? If you have strict Asian parents, how do you deal with them? Do you always have to lie to get out the house?

Man, generalize much? Sheesh.

My parents are strict. We are 3 girls in the family and I guess they have a reason to be strict, they let us understand why they're doing it to us. We don't lie, we tell them the truth. It's just a matter of telling them the truth and compromising for a harmonious relationship. Now, we are all over 30 yrs old. We finished college, we have a degree. We married a wonderful man. It pays to be strict but not too much, because 'rebellion' from the part of the kids will take place.

"asian" does not have anything to do with it
but the traditions come in, so the term "asian" plays a big part.
In Asia, the children respect their parents. And disappointing their parents was their biggest fear.
Growing up in my family, my father set up rules that we had to restate. It's different for every family.

'cause for One of my friends have to put their hands out and have their father wacks their hands...20 times, it's awful but that only happens when they go over board

such as going out, partying.
Asian parents in America are still in thoughts of the old ways back in their country.
Now, asian american children talk back to their parents.
Asian parents want their girls to stay home and cook and clean. They want their boys to study. But they dont see that there's more than that.

My mother always told me that back then "they were so obedient, not like the children now that have became wild as animals."
And from that, the only thing that made a huge change amongst our behaviors are in the USA, we have a little bit more freedom than the Asian communist countries my mother and father grew up on.

Asian parents are still back in those days.
&&they're very scared to see their children dispel gradually and to not succeed like others.

A pregnant teen is a huge disgrace, and your family would disown. And she'll live on the streets.

Well, my parents are from SE asia... I dont know about other asian people from china or japan.
but in my entire I life I grew up knowing I would hate my father for life. Lots of sexism and racism played a rule in my life.

personally i don't think it has anything to do with being asian. my mother was very strict and she wasn't asian.

My parents are sort of strict and uptight. They respect that I have friends and that I want to hang out with them. Sometimes though they get all mad at me for not staying with them.

because family bond in asian are so tight.. no offense meant but by being that tight and upright most asian kids knows how to respect their elders unlike western and european countries which i always see fighting back with their elders in such a young age and knows how to swear for just as their expressions..

My sterotype-alarm went off. But I have noticed competitiveness most in asian parents, but usually immigrants or first gen. If you know a bit about asian culture you'll probably have noticed that many want to suceed. Freom what I understand, from asian friend,s being succesful brings honor to your family. So keeping good grades and passing your SATs is a bigger deal than it may be for westerners. Also, there are alot of people, and probably giong after the same jobs. So parents try to do what they can, for the good of the hcild, to make them more comeptitive. if they need to learn english, they take a course at school or go to a hagwon. If the need tutoring, they get it. Parents who seem to do that in the west the most, that i know, are immigrants. And guess what? their children are successful. Most of the parents seem to simmer down after a few years but made sure their children made good grades.

They've been brought up with strict honour codes - to believe honour is v. important and to believe that your elders and parents are like God (gave you life etc.etc.)
They also believe education gives you a good life unlike alcohol etc. my parents are SE asian and no-no on
alcohol under like 30/boyfriends/mixed schools/bikinis/slightly low or strapless tops/short skirts/shorts/too much make-up/parties of the non pass the parcel or with parents variety/sex before marriage (i think)/swearing etc.etc.
yeah it can really suck :/
i hate the whole honour/respect thing, i'm happy with however i dress and being the way i want to be and i don't care what they or their family might think. it's just sad because i know i won't have another chance to have a fun childhood.
i know i don't have it as bad as some but i hate it bc i feel like i want to rebel and not succeed in life just to show them their parenting doesn't work but i won't because i want to succeed and make something out of myself for ME, not for them.
but i know a lot of people with asian parents who are totally fine with the above and normal and lovely
So not all asian parents are strict and uptight
Just quite a few :/

I really have no idea why either.

They are traditional. MY parents does not let me go out either.

I lie all the time!

Yeah, I have Asian parents.

I lived in Asia for two years. I found the parents to be very involved with their children and they loved them very much. Children were valued. The kids were well mannered and respectful, which is something I wish we all were. The mothers were known as "kim's mom", not by their own names.

If the child did something mean or hateful, the mother was shamed, not the kid, because it was the mother who didn't teach them not to do that. They were held accountable for the behavior of their children. Kind, well mannered children bought respect to their parents.

I think that they're so uptight because they were brought up on these customs. Remember, since they were born learning these principles, they may think that even letting you go out with your friends on a Friday night is strict enough. It's worse though if they decide that compared to other people, you're not doing well enough. No offense, but most will compare you with other asian students, and if you do poorly on a quiz, some may pretend that it's okay when really it isn't, and then some are plain outright about it and won't accept it. Even though this all sounds harsh, though, somehow you still get along with them. They can sometimes be pleasant, actually. But then again, social lives are very important, and there will usually be a conflict somewhere in there with your parents. I lie, but I definitely don't feel right doing that. I suggest, if you haven't already talked to your parents about something you disagree with, do that, and if they disagree with you for an extremely irrational reason, you should lie. Just be really sneaky about it, even though it will sometime blow up in your face. =( But hey, what can you do?

From the little I have heard about this sort of thing, you thank god that you had Asian parents. You may not like it that much at the time

I dunno, it just seems to be an asian thing.

Not all are like it but alot are...Like my Asian friends parents:

One of my asian friends mum won't let this friend of ours go to his house cos he is "Scary looking" she says that because he has red, spiky hair and is african.. He is actually not scary at all, he is a very nice guy.

ANother of my asian friends parents threaten to kick him out of the house and disown him if he doesnt get over 75% for every test. Although i will admit for an Asian parent this is pretty soft, most expect over 90%

Another friends parents dont let her go to any of her friends houses or they cant go to hers unless they know that person.

Another friends mum screams at him and calls him a failure if he doesnt get over 90%

Kind of annoys me..Sometimes I feel sorry for these friends, but I remember that they are probably used to it and will probably be like that to their kids.

not all asian parents doode. my parents are relaxed man

idk i cant lie to her and i feel so depressed. the only 1 i can talk 2 is my cousin who she never lets me see. shes the only one who knows. sometimes it just feels like shes ripping my heart into pieces.

Not ALL asian parents, are strict. I understand what you mean though because half of my friends are in the same boat as you including me. They are strict because they care about you and they want you to make the most of your opportunities because they never had the same. They will tell you to study hard so you can get the best job for you :) in the end you will thank them for it!

When I turned 18 I was out all the time~ out clubbing, started drinking, got home late nights. This drived mum crazy cuz she had no control over me anymore as I already got accepted into University. When i got my first boyfriend mum wasn't too pleased. I lied heaps, only to go out but I knew how i was going to go home, I made sure I had money and knew the plans for the night so mum wudn't be worried.

Dont worry, in time you will have freedom but just appreciate that they care for you even though it may be hard at the time! If you are going to lie to go out, make sure you've planned how your getting home and don't get yourself involved with the wrong friends.

Theres still heaps of things I can't do, but its improved as the years go by :) you'll get your freedom in time, just make sure you try your best in school/job because thats their number 1 priority!