That is disgusting and an outrage. How dare she try and judge you like that? And anyway, you are 21, you have been old enough in the eyes of the law for 6 years. How DARE she. God I am fuming. Yes, call and complain, I would. The f*cking cheek of it!

I agree. Notify the Chief of Staff and file a complaint of the nurse's unprofessional behavior. Her jobs is to tend to patients, not impose her opinions or beliefs on anyone. Call the Human Resources department at the hospital first and they'll direct you on what steps to take.

I would report her in a minute. It is none of HER business, even if you were 12, It would be none of her business. That sounds very strange to. I would be very careful about being around her when the baby is born. Please do report her. She may be PSHYCO!!

The nurse is completely out of her jurisdiction, telling you to give up the baby without due cause, as it is against two of the cornerstones of medical ethics, non-maleficence to the patient and respect of the autonomy of the patient.

As to the complaining part, well I'm not well up on how the US system would work. However, I'd be willing to bet it would be her word against yours - hard to prove. If you did complain, I would imagine it may be investigated by the hospital, but if you are seeking financial compensation I very much doubt you could claim anything and the legal expenses could be very large, so I would advise against this.

Although it can be a very significant factor, age is no absolute indication of suitability of parenthood itself - parents *can* be terrible at 40 or excellent at 16. At the age of 21 you are a legal adult anyway, and your decisions are entirely your own to make. I certainly don't think this is too young to have a child (my mum fell pregnant with me when she 21, and look how I turned out!).

However, I don't want to completely discount the possibility that she was advising you rather than telling you and she just doesn't have a good way of speaking to people, or you misunderstood what she was trying to say - when people are dehydrated, confusion is extremely common and although you may have very strong and adamant opinions and feelings about what and how she said it, you should take this into account.

If you are carrying a child inside of you, I'm sure you appreciate the great need to take the utmost care of both the baby's and your life as it grows. Being in a state of dehydration may have made this nurse think you weren't ready at the current time to handle the responsibility - and it is the greatest responsibility anyone can undertake.

Certainly in the UK, such a case could be reported to social services if the medical staff thought that the health and welfare of the child (even unborn) were in significant danger.

Obviosuly I don't know you, or the nurse, or the exact details of the incident, and so I can only offer my (partially informed) opinion, but I must tell you that I can understand both sides of the coin. I realise that such an answer may make you angry but I'm not going to take either side on this issue, without knowing more.

My advice is not to do anything rushed without thinking it through completely - perhaps arrange (via the hospital if necessary) to speak in person with the member of staff - that way she can relay her concerns and why she said whatever she said, and if you did hear her right and it wasn't appropriate, the staff member in question can be dealt with in a suitable manner to make her realise she doesn't have the authrotiy to say such statements.

Absoloutly agree. It is not someone elses place to say when you are ready to have a child. My mother was 20 when she had me. My boyfriends mother was 17 when she had him and he turned out awsome. If i was in your shoes, I would write a letter and make a phone call.

That nurse was totally insensitive and stepped out of bounds. Actually it is'nt any of her buisness and he/she should'nt of gotten so personal.

Reporting is totally up to you and how you feel. I'd probably let go and carry on with more important things.

I feel for you. I would be pretty upset by the unasked for advice. Go through the proper channels to complain. But keep how she worded it in mind... was the nurse being a busy body, trying to be helpful, or was it stated rudely. You may hurt the nurses career, and perhaps it is needed.

Did she advise you to do it or tell you to do it? If she told you to do it I would complain. That is not her place to say that. If she was offering advice then I'd ignore it and assume she had my best interests at heart. I hope you are well now. I used plain chips kept right next to my bed and ate some before I ever got up. It helped a lot with the nausea. Good luck.

a complaint may be in order either way, but i am curious: did she just throw out the adoption thing as a possibility or was she actually trying to convince you to do that? i could see telling somebody their options, but not telling them what i personally think they should do!

I had my first baby when I was 21, and have enjoyed it very much. Everything's going to be alright. Just make sure your lifestyle is right for your child. Don't ever get to the point where you have to give your baby up, you will definetly regret it.