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by Anonymous on March 20th, 2007

Anonymous

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I am 50 with daughter of 10 years old, raised her alone and have not dated until now. My daugther is very distressed about it, how do I make her comfortable with it? dating man for 7 months and just started to introduce him to her, any ideas

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Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by Patti jo on March 21st, 2007

    Patti jo

    It will be normal for a odd reaction - So be understanding without being demanding - Don't force a reaction out of her -- And don't make her feel like she has to fit in -- Time and patients on your part and the part of your new boyfriend -- Just take it easy

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  • by JUSTNORMAL on March 20th, 2007

    JUSTNORMAL

    That is sort of difficult for children to see their Mommy with a man, when they are accustomed to being the only one in your life. I kinda went thru the same thing. I would say to sit her down and tell her that she is the most important person in your life, and you love her. Explain that she has friends at school, and some probably hang out with "boys" so you are doing the same thing. Also explain that you enjoy his company and that you are happy, BUT that NEVER has any bearing on your love and devotion for her..GOOD LUCK she will be fine :)

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  • by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on March 22nd, 2007

    P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines

    You just need to give her time. She's feeling very insecure and scared right now. Just sit down and talk with her about it so you can find out what's upsetting her the most. And then work on easing those fears.

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  • by punished? on March 21st, 2007

    punished?

    JUSTNORMAL's advice is great! I personally have never been through this as i dont have kids myself. but with my boyfriends daughter (she is only 3 though) he slowly introduced her and i. we have always maintained with her that daddy and i are friends. she very rarely sees him kiss me and if so its usually just on the cheek. we never do sleep overs when he has custody. her and i took some time to be completly comfortablet ogetehr but now we love each other very much. her mother is in a similar situation with the man in her life. they again slowly introduced hima nd her and he began doing little things with her and building their relationship (its not to the same point as her and mine but they are working on it). he has moved in with mom and its just a slow adjustent for her.
    the key is to take things slow. dont bombard her with emoptions, your emotions and affection for him. allow them time to build trust and frinedhip together. let her see you are happy. always continue to make tiem for the two of you. and just let things happen slow.
    you cant force them to have a relationship but if he is a good guy and treats you and her well she should come around. its just a new and difficult situatoin for her to adapt to.

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