Tell them you want the worst constipation you've ever had in your life. You want constipation so bad that you might have to resort to digital evacuation in the doctor's office. Tell them you want gum disease and to have all your teeth fall out. Tell them you want to be broke and homeless and to lose all your friends and family. Tell them you want to balloon up to morbid obesity in a short period of time. Tell them you want to die young of heart disease. Nah, on second thought, just skip the stuff. It isn't worth it.

You would have to be in extreme pain to get vicodin and chances are you won't get oxycontin. Those drugs are saved for someone dying of cancer and they are of a LAST RESORT. Most doctors won't even give narcotics for pain relief anymore. These drugs are VERY ADDICTIVE (which is probably why you want them. Am I right)?

Doctor Mr. Benjamin Franklin says I should be prescribe ______!