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by precious on March 19th, 2007

precious

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If you found out your partner had a one night stand would and should you forgive him/her?

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Answers. 66 helpful answers below.

  • by Jade on March 19th, 2007

    Jade

    We have come too far to throw it all away now...yes, I probably would.

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  • by DreAnna on July 23rd, 2007

    DreAnna

    Forgive yes,From a distance because I would not be around anymore. Forget never. :)

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  • by This Daley has a new bundle of joy on March 19th, 2007

    This Daley has a new bundle of joy

    Probably not. I would want to, but I doubt I could. It would kill me and nothing would be the same between us.

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  • by Fun on March 19th, 2007

    Fun

    Did they have this one night stand while dating you? Then no. Cheating is not tolerable in my eyes. But if it happened a while back, then I cannot judge them on their past.

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  • by RFlagg on March 19th, 2007

    RFlagg

    Yes.
    It wouldn't be easy, but I think I could.

    I mean, it's not like I'm much good in that department from 4800 miles away, and I can't exactly expect her to go completely selibate, now can I?
    So yes, given the circumstances, I could.

    Although I do hold myself to a double standard on the matter.

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  • by Chosun One on March 19th, 2007

    Chosun One

    If you can forgive and forget, sure, why not? Me personally, probably not.

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  • by judgebill on January 27th, 2008

    judgebill

    Depends on many things. To begin with, how long the marriage and when did the affair occur? Recently? Any residuals (i.e., does he/she still want to maintain a relationship outside the marriage?). Are there kids? I don't believe in maintaining a marriage just for the kids but they are a consideration. The real question is how you feel about yourself. If you feel comfortable with yourself and can accept yourself, without judgment, then you can accept others as they are...without judgment. You can live with a substance abuser, a cheater, a gambler, a person with almost any fault...if you can learn to accept them. If you can't accept them, look first at yourself and see if you are judging yourself or them. The question to ask is whether by staying with them you are honoring yourself. This is not an easy quesiton.

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  • by Wickels on January 27th, 2008

    Wickels

    Firstly, what other kind of affair is there between married persons?

    Chances are pretty likely that I would divorce him. We have a very open minded relationship, in which we participate in sex with third parties and what not. If he felt the need to decive me and carry on with someone else, I'm not sure I could forgive him.

    Of course, this is all speculative.

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  • by Crystal on January 27th, 2008

    Crystal

    I would ask them what do they want to do,if they want to stay with me,then I would stay with them,and we'll go to marriage counseling,if they don't want to be with me,then I want a divorce.

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  • by DreAnna on November 14th, 2007

    DreAnna

    Leave :)

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  • by candycakes loves j. bell on July 23rd, 2007

    candycakes loves j. bell

    i've been trying to do it for over a year now, and it's harder than you think.

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  • by Midnighttoker on April 13th, 2007

    Midnighttoker

    no, get away now.

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  • by Gonzo on April 13th, 2007

    Gonzo

    I have already, many times for the simple reason that I do it myself.

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  • by Gideon on March 19th, 2007

    Gideon

    It depends how emotionally invested you are in your relationship. Are you dating or have you been married 10 years?

    It's hard -- hard -- for forgive infidelity, but it can be done. In an ideal relationship, there really shouldn't be too many deal breakers. It's the long haul one should be concerened with.

    I have found that a brief physical encounter doesn't compare to having a partner with an emotional attraction to another person. That's the hard one.

    If you love your partner and can accept his or her reasons for the infidelity, then maybe you can work on forigving. The landscape of your relationsip will have changed -- it already has -- but that doesn't mean the journey has to end.

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  • by Penny The Wise on March 19th, 2007

    Penny The Wise

    If it was them cheating, I wouldn't forgive them. If it was something that happened before we were together, then it's none of my business. Unless it was my sister or something.

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  • by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on May 29th, 2008

    DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

    It happened to me and I could forgive but I couldn't let it go. But in my defense he didn't make it easy to forgive or forget..he refused to say "I'm sorry i hurt you"...he told me that he had never loved me--that I was just convenient...I really wanted to save the relationship but I couldn't do it all alone. I really don't think it was my fault-I think he just neeed an excuse to leave. We both were young and I guess it is always both people's fault..but that was as far as I was willing to admit to :(

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  • by mgl on May 29th, 2008

    mgl

    NO!!! :(

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  • by jeepman on January 27th, 2008

    jeepman

    I Divorced my ex for that reason and we have kids but they are over 18 yrs old

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  • by UneFille on January 27th, 2008

    UneFille

    Divorce.

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  • by curious on January 27th, 2008

    curious

    I would diorce him, they say once a cheat always a cheat.

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  • by Drastic on January 27th, 2008

    Drastic

    Divorce her.

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  • by miRi hates social norms and regulations on January 27th, 2008

    miRi hates social norms and regulations

    my parents got a divorce - thank god

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  • by FlameDesire on January 27th, 2008

    FlameDesire

    Depends how our relationship was before they committed this. I would most likely forgive them and let them have a clean slate, but if it wasn't go well before, a divorce is 100%.

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  • by Shaz4726 on January 27th, 2008

    Shaz4726

    his out of the window, which means seperate :)

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  • by asweetguy4u2know saya R.I.P Nelson on November 14th, 2007

    asweetguy4u2know saya R.I.P Nelson

    My ex wife found out the answer to this the hard way. I left and filed for divorce.

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  • by Twisted Thoughts is not MIA anymore. on November 14th, 2007

    Twisted Thoughts is not MIA anymore.

    Hmmm. I think i'm only going to be able to answer that when the time comes -- I'll cross the bridge when/if I ever get there..

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  • by Licious on November 14th, 2007

    Licious

    Definitely leave. This has happened to me. I have forgiven but definitely not forgotten. There was nothing wrong with our relationship, he has even admitted that, he just wanted more. We've been split up for 4 years now and get on really well but could never be a couple again as i couldn't trust him. If you stayed with your partner after their affair you'd struggle to trust and respect them.

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  • by JessicaOfVA on November 14th, 2007

    JessicaOfVA

    I think it would depend on the situation. If we were fighting all of the time, not getting along, and it was a one time thing... I may be able to get past it. But if our marriage was fine or it was an ongoing affair, than I would most likely leave.

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  • by Anonymous on November 14th, 2007

    Anonymous

    It depends on the situation. Like if I was being a crappy partner somehow, and it drove them to seek something from someone else, I could see maybe understanding and forgiving them. Cheating is definitely wrong in any situation- I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe there are some situations where it could be more understandable/forgivable?

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  • by hate on September 15th, 2007

    hate

    i would double think with who i'm with. now a days, you need to consider std's and this new HPV that's going around. i think it shows a persons's true colors when they say stuff like that. be careful with who you choose to sleep with cuz it might bite us in the a@@ later on.

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  • by George W. Bush on July 23rd, 2007

    George W. Bush

    Yes even thought it would be hard but if God can forgive us for our sins why shouldn't we forgive others?

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  • by tomsims on July 23rd, 2007

    tomsims

    Yes, but we'd need to do some relationship repair work and both of us would need to be willing.

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  • by Elleonora on July 23rd, 2007

    Elleonora

    I think it would depend on the situation.

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  • by Lippycow on July 23rd, 2007

    Lippycow

    No once he crossed THAT line that would be the end im afraid.

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  • by pagan-babe on April 13th, 2007

    pagan-babe

    Iv been there and i had him back,it hurt like mad but i didnt want her to get him,as she was kinda hanging about,it took ages for me to trust him i mean ages about 2 years i used to get a bad gutt feeling when he went out!!!

    Looking back id probally not do it now but i was young and had a child by him.We are not together now this was over 15 years ago.

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  • by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on April 13th, 2007

    Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today

    I've been there and I couldn't deal with it. How do I know he didn't bring home something nasty? I don't. So nope, to me, it's just not worth dying for.

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  • by AntigoneRising on April 13th, 2007

    AntigoneRising

    If the one night stand happened prior to our relationship, then there is nothing for me to forgive. He would not have had a commitment to me at that time.

    If it happened during the relationship, I may forgive if he is genuinely sorry, remorseful, and willing to take responsibility for the pain he caused. However, the relationship would be over.

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  • by annjjones on March 19th, 2007

    annjjones

    i wouldnt forgive my husband as i know i would not trust him in the future, i know i would have him on a short leash & to be honest that isnt fair to do that to anyone & it would drive me mad wondering where he was at all times a one night stand to me is just as bad as having an affair, so no i would not forgive

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  • by MelindaWarren on July 23rd, 2007

    MelindaWarren

    Forgive..maybe Forget...never Stay with....NO WAY!

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  • by Babycakes on July 23rd, 2007

    Babycakes

    My husband is my heart but if he cheated I would never forgive him. I believe in the vows it says to forsake all others. It doesn't get any cleare than that.

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  • by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on July 23rd, 2007

    Sheriff Raff -Answerhag

    I would hope to be able to forgive if they were genuinely sorry about what happened.

    If it was an isolated one time thing, I probably could get over it... however, if it was an affair where there were multiple cheats, that might lead me to belief that there is little remorse.

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  • by Shelby on July 23rd, 2007

    Shelby

    Heck no. I would be a single woman.

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  • by Anonymous on July 23rd, 2007

    Anonymous

    If it was a one time "I got drunk and lost control", it'd be hard but yeah. Anyone can make a mistake ... ONCE.

    If it happened again, no way.

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  • by calypso on July 23rd, 2007

    calypso

    I could probably forgive him, but I could never trust him again and that would pretty much ruin the relationship. I can't be in a relationhip with someone I don't trust.

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  • by fuzzygreendude on April 15th, 2007

    fuzzygreendude

    HELL NAH! If he cannot seriously commit to you, and use the excuse, well it was just a one night stand it diddent mean anything. I love you...or some bull like that, then obviously he doesent give a rats ass about you, and hes self centered JERK!
    ....i hate cheaters

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  • by Anonymous on April 13th, 2007

    Anonymous

    i am in that position, my fella, cheated with some thing he met off a sex site, she lives local,he then slept with me, I went vd clinic Im clear, I took him back but shes now stalking us both calling, following my car, and he thinks hes the best catch ever, hes not hes fat, in debt, sad, moody, no self esteem, and nothing of a gent, yes i wonder why Im with him to, I have been asked out five times in the last 3 years I always said no as I didnt beleive in cheating, then he goes on a sex site desperate to sleep with anything at all, and she was no page three girl, he slept with that when he had everything with me, 3 years, were both in out 40s to so were not kids, I dont love him like I did, I hate him some days, I dont know what Im doing with him anymore I cant trust him, or beleive him, and if given the chance I will sleep with someone else to get my own back.in bed I think hes thinking of her all the time, he told me every detail of her bust, butt and everything else,

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  • by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 19th, 2007

    Sheriff Raff -Answerhag

    There are a lot of variables that go into this answer. The circumstances of the relationship and the mitigating factors would have to be weighed in. I would like to say I could forgive, but I have never been there. If my partner went homo, I am not so sure I could forgive that. If he got himself some other woman, I would think about it.

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  • by wallbanger on April 13th, 2007

    wallbanger

    He without sin shall cast the first stone

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  • by Troy64 on April 15th, 2007

    Troy64

    yes forgive them only if they truly fell sry but this a chance to themt o show you how sry they are if they are not truly repentent then you shouldnt

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  • by APACHEmeansENEMY on July 23rd, 2007

    APACHEmeansENEMY

    well, a cheater just isnt what I'm interested in putting my time and energy into. I have been in the situation and 'forgive" is kindof irrelavant if you ask me...I just wouldnt be with them anymore!

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More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading If you found out your partner had a one night stand would and should you forgive him/her? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • Could you forgive your partner if you found that they had cheated?
  • If you found out your spouse had an affair, would you be able to forgive and forget or would you leave them?
  • Would you forgive your partner if she/he had an affair?

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