My husband and I are getting a divorce. We have a teenager who is 14 years old. Our teenager's primary residence is with me. He said that he can force our daughter to visit him. Is this true- can he do this?

Well no or yes. First depends on state. But usally once 13 the courts give the child a option if they want to. So no most states they are not forced to go any longer!

Yes, he can. Joint custody rules. Unless there is a reason that he couldn't look after the child properly or if he mistreats it, then he gets no rights to it (e.g. if he is an alcoholic or beats your child). But if there is no reason why he shouldn't be allowed to see the child, then yes, he can.

Yes This is true. My daughter does not want to go either but by law if he pays support she must unless it is a bad enviroment and you have to prove it. The best advise is to ask your divorce lawyer.

It depends on the State, and whether it is an award of custody or visitation.

Child support is NOT payment for the child's time. It is the fulfillment of the obligation of the parent to provide for the child.

The Court will not force anything which will be injurious to the child. However, once there is an order granting visitation and she doesn't show, you could be held in contempt of the order. You would be given a court date to explain your position.

You need to address this issue with your attorney, before you go to court for the final hearing. If there are truly good reasons your child does not want to visit these reasons can be presented before the Court and a determination made for the final order.

Hi - I live in Maryland and have been separated from my husband for six years. Each state may be different, but in Maryland when a child reaches the age of 13 they may decide whether they wish to see the parent they do not live with. You may have a women's center you can check with regarding the age the child has to be before they can make that decision.

In many jurisdictions, he can force this. However, he would be unwise to force your daughter to do anything...IF he values his relationship with her.

Why would your daughter not want to visit him? Do you not want her to?

In some states the child's age does come into play . Usually a judge will consider an older child's wishes over a younger child's . The judge will call she or he in his or her chambers and ask why it is that the child does not want to have contact with that parent . If the judge thinks it is a good enough reason . And sees that the child wasn't rehearsed on what to say . Then the judge might agree not to "force" visitation . In my case I have 2 girls 12 & 15 . My ex went after custody of my 12 year old and left my 15 year wondering why it was that she wasn't good enough to fight for . The judge in our case may see that my ex has done some irreversible damage to our daughter . And might find that it is best for both girls to live with me . But every case and state is different . I'd get a free consultaion . That's how I found my excellent attorney .

If you live in Canada, the child can chose for herself after the age of 12. Also depends on the type of custody you have agreed to....Joint, Full, Supervised visitation etc....If he abuses her then you have a reason to fight this but....if he is a good father (even though a poor husband) perhaps it would be best to allow him to see her. Think of how she will feel and how much she will resent you and not him when she is old enough to reallize that she was robbed of his company. Father's have a place in childrens' lives. I've been divorced for years and even though I have reasons to dislike my ex, I see no gain in disallowing him from access to our daughter. It is healthier for her in the long run. I also make a point of not discuss his negative side when she is around. Just much more healthy for the child emotionally.

Yes. if you do not have an attorney, you are going to need one. this will have to settled in court. the husband has certain rights, unless it can be proven he is an unfit father.

Upfront, i see nothing wrong with the father having visitation rights. its a normal procedure in divorces.

At that age I don't think he can. It depends on you state's laws but she is old enough to say she doesn't want to see him if she doesn't want to. Unless he is abusive to her I think you should encourage her to see him. A girl's relationship with her father is very important.

At the age of 14, most Judges will consider the wishes of the minor regarding where s/he wants to live.

However, unless there is an abusive situation, it's highly unlikely that visitation would be taken away completely.

Your husband can get a court order for visitation. He can then show up at your house to pick up your daughter at his appointed visitation weekend. He can not drag her to the car and force her to get in. However, once that court order is in place if you do not follow it, YOU are in violation of it and then you will have to explain to the judge why you didn't make sure your daughter went with her father on his visitation. So, you better get this hammered out and settled. If your daughter doesn't want to visit her father because she is angry at him over the divorce you need to tell her there are times in life where you just have to do stuff you don't like and this is one of them. Her hiding away because she is angry is not going to do her any good.

Unless in your daughter's opinion there is something radically wrong with him, why would you want your daughter not to visit her father? Is he forcing HER or is he forcing YOU? Are you by any chance one of those women who try to destroy your child's relationship with her father because of your own insecurities? Because American divorce law is unfairly tilted in favor of the mother.

Actually this happened to me when I was a child. The courts will give your daughter the option to. If she doesnt want to then she wont have to however there will be visitation rights which means he can come over to your house to visit her.

It depends upon the jurisdiction. Generally it is felt that both the father and mother can benefit a child's development. Whatever is determined to be in the best interests of the child will be the way it will be.

It's important to communicate with your husband to ensure that you develop a positive plan for the child's growth. Remember your husband will always love his son or daughter. The fact that he wants to be part of his child's life is a positive thing. Remember you WILL be parents separately, although you've decided not to be parents together.

If there's no reason why he SHOULDN'T see her (history of abuse, drug habits etc.), then yes he can legally make her visit.

Ask your lawyer. You DO have a lawyer, don't you?

Not if she's old enough to make her wishes know. all children are given a gaudian adlidum in divorces. They useally stay out of things unless there's a problem. You need to contacy her's and talk to them and have them talk to your daughter. They will then submit papers to the court recommending what should be done. And in most cases a judge who's fully aware that a chiuld doesn't want anything to do with the parent won't force a child over 12 to see them.

I dont not think so, but the judge usually rules in favor of the mother. specially since she is a teenage girl. and i think at the age of 13, the child has the choice of where to stay. but if all else fails... dig up dirt. you know your x better than anyone. make him think twice about raising a teenage girl alone. or you can do it the right way and higher a lawyer to do all the dirty work for you. either way i doubt he will win. good luck

I am having same problem and i live in minnesota. Does anyone know the law in minnesota re ages a son or daughter can chose to visit?

NO: My parents went through a divorce and they said She has EVERY right to see them but if the Child(ren) give a paper and or tells the parent they do not wish to see them, They do not have to see them.
My brothers are the ages of 5,8,11,12,14,and 17. My sister is age 7 and they have all refused at times to see their mother.
It is not a LAW they have to see the parent.. Joint custody or not.

The divorce court will make this decision, after an investigation and checking out all the facts of the divorce.

The teenagers welfare comes first, period.

Even if your spouse attempts to force your daughter to see him through filing a request in court, judges usually realize that no one and nothing (not even a piece of paper issued by the court) in the world can make a 14-year-old to do anything! The bottom line, you need to be ready willing and able to assist your daughter in getting to the place of visitation, but if she doesn't want to go in - what is he going to do?!Drag her by her hair?!

In australia, it is almost mandatory to grant visitation rights to non custodial parents, even if they are abusive or in prison. HOWEVER, if the non custodial parent does have a proven record, the custodial parent can ask for supervised visits. Then, there is the age of the child: by the time they have reached 14, the courts usually take their feelings into account,and I doubt that they would force the child to go against its will. I mean, how would this work? He comes to pick the child up and has to force it into his car...that is abuse....you take them to a third party to be picked up and the child says point blank...I don't want to go...how do you force them? physically? that's abuse...
Talk it out with your legal advisor.