ANSWERS: 8
  • If you have the doctors okay on the matter then ignore them,, does your Mom need to go into that situation for her health ,, or do you just want her to go there ,, how does your Mom feel about it does she realise she needs extra care ?
  • I tend to ignore them, I dont talk to them, I dont let them know about anything I am doing, quite telling her, what you are doing with your mother. Why is she fighting you Cotton?
  • I must be the most fortunate person I know, Cotton. I've never been in that situation. I get along great with all my relatives. They're great people who I'm very proud of.
  • I feel bad for you Cotton. You are trying to do the best thing for your mother. I am sure you have tried to explain it to her sister. Unless she has a better and safer idea I would just ignore her. If your mother has some lucid moments, you should have documents prepared wherein you have power of attorney over her financial and medical decisions which could include placement in a facility upon a doctor's recommendation. In the worst case scenario, you can have yourself appointed as guardian over your mother, but proceed with caution as it can be expensive and embarrassing for your mother. I guess the biggest and most important question is, what does your mother want? If she does go to a facility of some sort, make sure to visit often and make her feel as independent as possible. It's tough when the parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent. I wish you and your mother the best.
  • That is a horrible situation to be in. My grandma was living with my mom and it got to the point where she needed 24 hour care. When my mom went to put her into a really nice assisted living home, my aunt (who lives in another state and never lifted a finger to help) just threw a fit. My aunt insisted she could do it. So my mom paid for my grandmas plane ticket and medical escort. Within 1 month, my aunt put her in a home -- and she never apologized to my mom. I have a couple questions for you. Do you have power of attorney over your mothers medical and legal decisions? (If not, get it right away) Also, if your aunt is going to fight it so bad, tell her to take care of your mom. Keep an eye on it though. Putting your mom in a home is not an easy decision. Its usually the last resort after all other options have been tried. Don't feel guilty about it. Remember, you are trying to do what is best for her.
  • Take aunt aside and quietly but firmly tell her that she can either get with the program or she's out of the loop. If she offers to accept the responsibilty and cost of managing the situation and you think she can do it-consider letting her. Otherwise tell her it's going to take a team effort and she can either be on the team or not-her choice. But if she choses not then she doesn't get to come to the games. Unless you're married, take care of yourself first, your mother second and everyone else later Good luck-my thoughts are with you.
  • I am so sorry you have "one of those" in your midst my friend. We have a friend whose sister did the very same thing to him as he tried his best to do what was best for their mom. The sister lived far away and never lifted a finger for "mom". Our friend and his wife cared for her..the wife bathed her and treated her with loving kindness. The sister showed up on the doorstep and had nothing of value to offer but criticism and condemnation. He tried his best to ignore her but he was very hurt and so was his wife. Good luck my friend. Wear earplugs and continue on your path. Pay attention to those who offer you a helping hand...ignore the others. They are time-wasters.
  • I have something similar going on in my family. Two members of the family have been asked to stay away until they can bring a postive influence to the situation as their constant negativity is not helping my aunts mental state or the stress level of anyone else.... Peace to you my friend......do what your heart tells you to do.....in these situations it almost never lies...

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