Ask a Question
or
Create a Poll
  1. Home /
  2. Questions /
  3. Relationship Advice
  4. / Dating
  5. / Age Differences In Dating
  6. / Both Over 18

by Jay TH on November 28th, 2003

Jay TH

Question

Help answer this question below.

I'm seeing this person -- she's 21, and I'm 18. Is that 3 year age difference a big deal?

  • Like
  • Report
Share:
Other

Answers. 21 helpful answers below.

  • by Darth Belal on January 2nd, 2004

    Darth Belal

    Oh God NO! Believe me, a three year or even a four year difference is nothing at all. I was dating someone SIX years younger than me and there wasn't any difference sensed between us at all. I've also dated someone several years older than I, and age wasn't a factor in our relationship. Keep in mind that you are both legal adults now, and can do as you please. Don't let such a minor age, and your age differences are extremely, EXTREMELY minor, ruin a potential good relationship

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on January 14th, 2006

    Anonymous

    One out of the way thought here. if you two stay together for a long time, she will be able to join AARP before you do. age makes no difference, either way. its whats in your heart that counts. period.

    • Like
    • Report

    1 comment | Post one | Permalink

  • by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on April 5th, 2004

    Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony

    Not at all. I am 29 and my boyfriend is 39. As long as the age difference does not cross legal lines (i.e., a 20 year old dating a 15 year old), it's just a number.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Hot-stuff on January 6th, 2004

    Hot-stuff

    No way. My grandparents are 10 years apart and they're doing great. it doesn't matter the age: as long as you love her, there is no problem.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by MP1116 on January 5th, 2004

    MP1116

    Age definitely shouldn't be a factor...take it from me. I missed out on something that could've been real good. It may seem that age is a conflict when someone is say...18, and the other is 23 or 24 years old. You might think to yourself 'well we may be happy together, but what would her friends think? What would her family think? What about my parents?' The bottomline is that if you're with someone that's older than you, and you both feel good about each other, then who cares what anyone else thinks. Its not their relationship, its yours.

    If you are worried about the age difference for any other reason, don't be. The only conflicts, of course, will be that she can get into bars and clubs, and you won't be able to. So unless she likes to go bar hopping and clubbing, you should be ok. Age is a number, its not a social status.

    In my own experience, I met a girl who was 24 years old when I was only 18. I fell in love with her immediately...but I waited. I thought to myself 'she's 6 years older than me...what would her friends and family think of her going out with me?' so I never did anything. She used to flirt and tease alot, and she knew how I felt. Its only when she moved on to another job that I found out how she really felt about me, and how I had missed my chance to be with her, since she had gotten a boyfriend by that time. So don't let age be a deterrent...if you're happy, then good for you. Keep the relationship strong and healthy and there will be no problems.

    • Like
    • Report

    1 comment | Post one | Permalink

  • by exup25th on November 30th, 2003

    exup25th

    Heck no, I know there can be some difficulties between ages if there really is a big difference
    but 18 and 21 is not really that much. My girlfriend is 4 years older than me and we met when I was 26. The only thing that is a little different is music tastes because she had a four year head start on clubbing and stuff, but other than that there are no age difference problems

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by wannabenewman-confused on May 19th, 2008

    wannabenewman-confused

    Age is nothing but a number! When you love someone age just doesnt matter and will not make any difference at all and the right person is just the right person! So go ahead, date who you want and be happy! If its not meant for you to be with this person, then it will end sometime! Besides 3 or 4 year age difference is nothing! Good luck!!!

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by ScottRASC on January 28th, 2005

    ScottRASC

    Whew, thats good to hear. Cause I used to be 'bashed' constantly for wanting to date a girl who was at the time 13 to my 16 (now 15 and 18 but near breaking up)

    • Like
    • Report

    1 comment | Post one | Permalink

  • by qutiesue on December 16th, 2003

    qutiesue

    Hell no! Me and by fiance are 15 years apart, he is 41 and I am 26. I have a 6 year old daughter and he is great with her. He treates her like his very own daughter. He loves me and my daughter more than any man ever has. We have a great relationship. Don't get me wrong we still have our conflicts, in the beginning it was the most rocky relationship I had ever been in, it was love and hate for about 6 months. Get two people like us with such passion together and either there will be a horrible union or a great one. I'm sure that our relationship will never go back to all the fighting, it was a hard time getting to know each other, and it was hard for him to learn how to be soft and sensitive and gentle with his words. And hard for him to deal with someone (me) who had such sensitive feelings. He seems that he is finally found someone in which his is ready for such a serious commitment. Or someone with whom he feels he genuinely loves and feels is worth putting so much energy into keeping a healthy relationship with. Sometimes I look to him for advice in areas I have no experience in and he also comes to me at times when he feels he can't find an answer to something. I feel he is someone I can look at and see alot of myself in and this is what makes our relationship successful. I can think of him and he will call seconds later, or we often say the exact same response to a question or comment, at the same time. I can ask him a question and get the answer I knew was right, only did not have the clarity, or confidence in myself, to hear for myself. Even though he is kind of a rough, tough, kind of guy, and I am an emotional, sensitive kind of girl, we both have in the other what we ourselves need to work on. He has helped me to be more assertive and confident in my decisions in life, and I have helped him to listen to his feelings, to go inside and to be more sensitive. We are a perfect match and I love him more than I have ever loved anyone before. Our bond is one of enormous love. He is my lover, my best friend, and my strong hold.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by DeuceOfSpades on November 29th, 2003

    DeuceOfSpades

    Of course not. If the two of you really like each other and enjoy each other's company, there should be no limit to the age you two are. There was never any unwritten law saying you should date someone within a year of your age. After all, age is merely a number, and if you're both on the same level of high maturity (which you obviously are or you wouldn't even have bothered asking the posted question), then you really have nothing to be worried about. I myself am dating a girl two years younger with me, and there are absolutely no objections from her or myself.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by whatshername on August 15th, 2008

    whatshername

    not at all

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Valparaiso on December 3rd, 2006

    Valparaiso

    I would say at that age 3 years is pretty close to meaningless. It may matter to a few people but not many. In 2 years when she is 20 and you are 23 the age difference is essentially meaningless and few people would question that.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Rumpleforeskin on June 15th, 2005

    Rumpleforeskin

    For her, at her age -- probably. Here's a neat rule of thumb I learned years ago. I like that it takes into account the natural differences in maturity levels between men and women:

    For men, divide your age in half, rounding down to the nearest whole number, and add seven. The figure you arrive at is the minimum age of women you should date.

    For women, divide your age in half, rounding UP to the nearest whole number, and add NINE. The figure you arrive at is the minimum age of men you should date.

    As you can see, using this formula, your girlfriend's "magic number" works out to 20. Tough luck, huh? Were the ages reversed, however, YOU'D be in the clear, because the "magic number" for a 21 -year - old MALE is 17!

    Of course, this is only a rule of thumb, and you are both adults. And there are always exceptions to any "rule." Good luck, have fun, and try to appreciate the things is life that REALLY matter -- like dating someone who can legally purchase alcohol...

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on October 26th, 2004

    Anonymous

    Finally a question in this section that I can say no there is not a big deal. Between 18-21 most people are on or around the same levels of maturity and will continue to grow psychologically at similar rates. Usually an age difference of around 2,3,or 4 years is not a problem. If you were 18 and she was 25 then I would say that it would probably be a bit of a problem, because she would most likely be a whole lot closer to settling down, and you'd probably still be more in the exploratory part of you life, like you are. Don't worry unless she starts to express interest in settling down, marriage and kids and stuff before you take any interest in those things. But if that happens, make sure that you express to her that you don't feel the way she does. You wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, but it would be wrong of you to disguise how you feel just to make her happy, and visa versa. Like all relationships, being open and sharing your feelings is key. As long as your feelings and interests match, just enjoy the realtionship. If interests start to change, then don't hesitate to go your seperate ways and take it as a learning experience.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by sylvandei on September 3rd, 2004

    sylvandei

    It depends upon both people in the relationship. For some, a three year difference is no big deal, and as you get older, that bridge will grow larger. At 30, three years is nothing.
    However, a lot of developmental action takes place in the years between 18 and 21. Eighteen may be the legal marker for adulthood, but for many people, the mind and body are still developing into the adult brain and body. Also, the first three years of being an adult are a time when many begin to experiment with how they want to live their lives: they are no longer dependent on parents/guardians, so they can create an adult persona that is separate from their parents'.
    Therefore, there may be a separation not only of years, but also of maturity between two people in this age range. This is not to say that you shouldn't try it. It just means that you may run into instances where you don't see eye to eye on a variety of topics because you both are at different places in your lives. If you can make it work, I wholeheartedly agree that you should go for it; just be aware that the differences are there and may cause trouble at some point down the line.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Joyeux on May 19th, 2008

    Joyeux

    OMFG WHERE THE HELL WERE U GIRLS WHEN I WAS 17 ? lol
    I never adored girls my age.. I wasnt your avrage 17 yr old, I was more of those mature types, n all of them would be dating men older... :(
    what ever floats your boat girl.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by nelman on August 15th, 2008

    nelman

    if you're 3 and she's 6 then that's a problem. but at this age, a 3-year gap doesn't make any difference at all because the way of thinking is almost catching up with each other. imagine when you turn 30 and she's 33, does it look that big of a gap?

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by UneFille on August 15th, 2008

    UneFille

    Haha. Nope.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Del Boy on August 15th, 2008

    Del Boy

    Lucky you go for it hee hee

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Sosueme on August 15th, 2008

    Sosueme

    No....lucky you. I had that in college. Learned a lot:)

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by clasherguy on February 13th, 2010

    clasherguy

    no! not at all.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

Want to attach an image to your answer? Click here.

Did this answer your question? If not, then ask a new question or create a poll.

More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading I'm seeing this person -- she's 21, and I'm 18. Is that 3 year age difference a big deal? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • I just turned 21, and the guy I like will be 18 in December, so it's a 3 to 4 yr age difference. Is that a big age difference? People frown upon it.

Follow us on Facebook!

Related Ads

Related Questions

Professionally Researched

ANSWERBAG BUZZ

Im 18 she s 21
I m 21 she s 18
Im 21 shes 18
Im 19 shes 21
I m 19 she s 21

Answerbag

a Demand Media company