This is a tricky question. In the good ole days, the child could be expected to be out on their own and have a career by the time they were 20 at the latest! These days however, it isn’t as easy. Personally, I blame the Baby-Boomers for living too long. (heh) The Baby-Boomers are currently sucking up all of the good paying, decent jobs which used to contain huge vacuums of labour. It will be quite interesting to see the standard of living for my niece and nephews shoot through the roof once Baby-Boomers start retiring in droves and shuffling off the mortal coil. It’s extremely common for “20 somethings” these days to move back home. My sister did it when she broke up with her long term boyfriend and I did it when my wife and I divorced. We both stayed with our parents for as long as it took to get back on our feet and strike out again. I actually have a couple of friends who refused to leave home until they had enough saved up to buy their own house and were ready to furnish it. I don’t take much help from my Parents in terms of cash anymore (I’m 30 now) but have been known to get a loan from them from time to time when something big happens. (New furnace/washer/ETC) For the most part though, I only accept advice and seek the same on occasion now. I guess the only fair answer to this question is to cut the kids off if they are really abusing the (I feel) privilege of having parents or other family members help them out or when the parents feel that enough is enough.

This is indeed a tough question to answer, but I'll take a shot at it. Drinking Danos answer was a good one and covered a lot of ground, so I will try not to rehash. There are two ways to look at the term financially dependent. Financially dependent all the time or financially dependent in a crisis. If an adult child has managed well on their own and hasn't constantly been dependent on parents for help and just needs help through a temporary crisis then a little help from mom and dad (once all other options have been exhausted) is not all that bad. In general once an adult child is through college or they marry it is no longer appropriate for them to sponge off their parents. I have 2 relatives that are in their 40s and live almost exclusively off the kindness of their parents becuase they can't manage their money and are always out of work. Sadly both are married and their spouses are equally as guilty. This has been constant. They have never been able to manage (ever) without getting substantial funds from their parents. And the parents can't bear to say no. It's pathetic really. And the cycle will continue with their numerous offspring (one can only hope). It depends on the child and the parents and the reason for the child's need to be financially dependent. There are so many variables that could factor here and that is what makes this question so hard to answer. Hope this helps.

An adult child is never too old to be financially dependent on his or her parents. From my observation, there has been a societal change. As DD points out, "In the good ole days, the child could be expected to be out on their own and have a career by the time they were 20 at the latest!" Society still cherishes rugged individualism, but like a lot of our most exalted values, practice doesn't work out as well as the theory. Parents increasingly suffer pangs of "empty nest" syndrome while more children become "boomerang" kids when they can't hack it in the real world. Psychology Today explains the phenomenon of delayed adulthood: http://cms.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-2993.html "...young adults are returning home in increasing numbers--following graduation, the dissolution of a relationship or the loss of a job. They often live rent-free and subsidized, with no scheduled date for departure. But while much attention has been paid to live-at-home "adultescents," little has been said about their parents, many of whom are Baby Boomers who greet their boomerang kids with open arms. For a variety of emotional and demographic reasons--their desire to be close with their kids, a yearning for youth--many of today's parents (the original Peter Pan generation) just don't want their adult children to grow up." It's not easy being a rugged individualist today. In California, the $40,000 average salary (according the Bureau of Labor Statistics) affords you a nice bohemian lifestyle if that's your bent. Saving for a house down payment could take 50 years unless you move in with the folks and bank most of your salary. I grew up in an era (just after the Punic Wars), when it was considered mildly disgraceful for a young man to sponge off his parents longer than a few months after graduating high school or college. My peers couldn't wait to break free of parental domination and start earning credentials as full-fledged adults. We were following the example of our fathers: hard-boiled, self-made, no-nonsense breadwinners who didn't need help from anyone. They had adversity for breakfast every day during the Great Depression. Under my Dad's roof, by God, you did what you were told and pulled your weight! Dad wasn't your friend, he was the prison guard. Who wouldn't want to get out quick? Millions of teenagers identified with a popular song "We gotta get outa this place!" It was easy to be self-supporting in those days. On the equivalent of a job at McDonald's, you could have a nice bohemian lifestyle: a low-rent pad and enough groceries to last almost to payday. The last couple of days before payday, you might have to survive on economy-size cans of beans or hominy grits. It wasn't a real hardship because you were 18 and out of the house! You could take in a movie or rock show for two or three bucks, or score a "lid" of pot for $5. Dope got you through times of no money better than money got you through times of no dope. http://www.freaknet.org.uk/pages01/p02/gl05.html You had to do without a car, but hitchhiking was almost better than a car. If you are a parent, chances are you will deal with boomerang kids at some point. Here are some strategies from the Pittsburg Post Gazette: "If they move home, charge them rent -- and set a move-out date. --Make your kids pay part of grad school, so that postponing work has a financial price. --If you're helping with rent on an apartment, establish a schedule for phasing out this subsidy. --To encourage saving, offer to match any house down payment." http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05292/591302.stm

IF they are capable of working and are in good health adult children are absolutely too old to be financially dependent on parents. Taking money on a constant basis without regard for their parent’s financial situation is both selfish and disrespectful. It is indeed a reflection on parents who are willing perhaps, to go into debt in order to relieve some sort of guilt and misguided responsibility. An adult child is just that – an adult. He or she is not entitled to be provided for if they are capable of providing for themselves. Having children does not mean keeping them as babies for the rest of their lives. To grow into a healthy adult there must be some independent financial resources created by the adult child. If it means losing some pride and doing work that is considered too menial then so it should be. For adult children to gain confidence and stability, as well as a measure of independence and self-respect parents must encourage them to work for a living rather than be a parental “welfare” case and often a lazy one at that. When adult children in their late 20’s and 30’s are still dependent financially on parents it means they’ve been denied the opportunity to grow into adulthood. In some way all people contribute to society but laziness, lack of motivation and a feeling of unworthiness cause more harm than good to any child regardless of age. Adult children who live at home and make no attempt to contribute have little chance of ever becoming an adult.

Once that child has a stable job already and is capable of providing himself necessities in life, then he is too old to be dependent on his/her parents. The problem lies when the child was never taught early on by the parents to be independent.

I agree with Vanessa Chan....once they have a job which pays enough to cover the cost of food and rent they should move on.

when your in between 22 and older.

I support mine as long as they are in school to the best of my ability. When they graduate high school, and choose not to go to college, then they are on their own, except for dire emergencies. I only had one that didnt want to go to college and he has done just fine. He wanted to become a working cowboy and he is taking care of horses on a ranch south of here. Two others are now RN and LVN, the youngest starts next week majoring in Audio Engineering. I am proud of all my kids.

According to some of the people i meet everyday, never. There are two brothers, one 48 the other 39. both still live at home, with their mother, and have never been married. both work, but depend(or use) their mother for housing. i have mixed feelings about this situation. at what point in life, should the children leave home? these two have remained for so long, that their mother is now a very senior citizen and needs their help. Is this a good situation or bad?

Technically, whenever the child has reached legal adulthood but some families don't stop there and continue to help support them. I've known some parents who never stop supporting their kids but it's up to the parents after legal adulthood to decide that the child is on their own. Personally, I don't think it ever lets them become an adult if they don't earn their way.

I think it varies as each set (or single parent) of parents have different levels of tolerance. I had a job on the weekends with a worker's permit when I was 15. My parents paid the down payment on my first car and I made the payments. As I hit mid-twenties.. I realized I did not want my parents to be weighed down by worry due to not knowing if I would be ok if something happened to them so I worked harder to obtain a career and show them (and myself) that I could provide for myself and support myself. They were able to go off and not worry about their "baby" as much.. I think because I showed them I was responsible (well.. most of the time lol). My parents mean the world to me. They are beautiful people.. and I wanted them to see that they had raised me right.. even if I am a sassy brat.. I will be ok. It was important that I make them feel that and that they could enjoy their later years easier without having to carry me.

My opinion on this is that its all based on the child. Is the adult child working and at least trying? It should be all subjective, being 24 I can tell you even with a college degree its tough to make a good start in this world these days. So I would say so long as the child is out there trying to get on his feet and he/she is working. With adult children its the same question as "When should we stop helping someone" and the answer is, when that person doesn't seem to want to help themselves.

I would say by the age of 27 or 28 they should have been able to finish college (if they went) and found a decent enough job to be able to afford the things they need. If they did not go to college they should have been made to get a job and save money so they can either afford to buy a house or get an apartment. I can see the necessity to stay at home until you are financial stable enough to be on your own. But if by 27 or 28 that is not happening then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate the situation.

I think it depends on child and parental relationship. The care and give and take all included. Kids are different and we as parents want to protect and shelter them as much as we can, it is mostly kids those move out and seek independence. My daughter is independent financially since the age of 19, but she stayed at home. From age 21 she is own her own, even though I would have loved to see her stay at home and be dependent on me. As far as my son is concerned, I think he will stay with me as much as he can.

you should really try and be independent. If you have to still depend on your parents try hard to get on your own. I would say too old would be when you get married. I dont want to be married by 21 but i want to be financially independent by than.