After catching former girlfriend stealing alot of money from my company without authority and i have been advised by both police and lawyer that i can charge her i dont want her to have a criminal conviction [suggestions please] i want money back

what would jack mccoy do? (that DA from law and order). well, he sees leverage - i won't press criminal charges against you if you pay me the outstanding balance. i expect $100 a week, every friday afternoon, for the next x weeks. be sure that it is paid by her in full before the statute of limitations runs out. document the serial # of every dollar and xerox every check she gives you. if she pays it in full and you don't want a prosecution, fine, but, remember she's gonna do it again, perhaps next time to your cousin vinny for a cool mill. if she doesn't pay you back in full on a timely basis before the statute of limitations, i'd press charges and turn over all evidence to the DA.

talk to her about it, or call a mediation e.g. between you, your lawyer and her, she may bring her own lawyer.

I would say for you to be agonising about this so much you two cared for each other and things have gone off the rails.

People can get really angry about alot of things e.g. gifts they gave, things they did for each other, and I imagine she probably did some good things for you too.

You asked in one of your questions why you feel financially responsibile for your ex, well if she had alot of money you would not feel that way, she may have already done it tough and may still be doing it tough it's always harder for women trying to support themselves, especially as they get older.

I'd say you still care alot, I'd say she has also been good for you, and in relationships people give and take.

Maybe she thought it was ok to take and yes over time it can add up to large amounts but the amounts your talking about would be hard to miss, you gave her access and you could have at any time checked on your accounts, it is a matter of looking at bank statements e.t.c.

Was she living the high ife, designer clothes,flashy cars.

You can really destroy her here, try a meeting if it is money you want back it would be less costly than a court case, you might find she has no idea that she did anything wrong, she may actually think you did not mind, and can you say your above board?

good luck I hope it all works out.

Letting her get away with this is passing your problem along to the next sucker she finds. Charge her, she doesn't respect you, and she needs to know there are consequences to her actions.

and once she is free of no jail time she will leave you like the fool you are.

I'd imagine you can sue her civilly.

you could ether privet talk and tell her to bring the money back or bring them 1000 dollers so you say you stealing the money and save the company