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by anonymous on March 16th, 2007

anonymous

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My wife is now 30 years old, the sexual prime years range. To her sex is not important, and she says she doesn't need it. It bothers me that she has no desire to have sex w/ me. What can I do, cause I don't want to stray and I love sex.

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Answers. 8 helpful answers below.

  • by singwell-is off researching a lot on March 16th, 2007

    singwell-is off researching a lot

    There are many reasons why this happens: children, stress, or hormonal problems included. Take her to a doctor and talk this out. There may be ways to light the fire again.

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  • by I m Out of here on March 28th, 2008

    I m Out of here

    The old adage about that being women’s sexual prime is in regards to fertility not desire.

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  • by American idle on March 16th, 2007

    American idle

    Who said 30 is "the sexual prime years range?" Maybe she's menopausal..she's in THAT "prime range", too. Get it checked out-together.

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  • by Anonymous on May 1st, 2009

    Anonymous

    I'm about her age and I LOVE sex. Lovingly, gently suggest that she talk to a doctor and perhaps a clergyman and see if she can find her desire.

    Do you have kids? I'm told that this can really depress sexual desire.

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  • by stealth412 on December 31st, 2008

    stealth412

    I hate to tell you this, but it's not really that she has no desire to have sex. She has no desire to have sex with you. That's just what we say when we don't want to hurt your feelings. No offense.

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  • by starrrgazer on December 31st, 2008

    starrrgazer

    30 is an *average* age when sexual prime will begin for women. It is not always right on 30 for every woman. Some women don't hit that until they are in their 40's. It's also very likely that it's caused by what's happening in your lives and her life, stressors, etc. You need to remember that adding to her stress by communicating your concerns about this to her. If you'd like to help her have less stress and more desire, help her more with things around the house, things to do with children you may have, errands, etc., etc., etc. It may be that if you start doing that and then ask her, kindly and gently at a quiet moment, if she would agree to having a "night in" for the two of you once a week if you take care of household duties, dinner, errands, and children issues/events on that night every week. It would give her a chance to go have a hot bubble bath after work, listen to some music that she likes, drink a glass of wine, have dinner prepared by the chef, and no clean up afterwards. Nothing much is going to be more of a turn on to a wife/mom than that!!

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  • by kellie on June 30th, 2008

    kellie

    I was that wife once! Here's my advice, from a 32 year old mom (who now enjoys sex):
    "sex" begins when you wake up in the morning. Your treatment of eachother throughout the day has the greatest impact on sex.
    get some couples counseling
    never make her feel guilty for saying "no," and don't feel personally rejected
    keep the pressure off for a while
    let her know you would rather have fewer more enjoyable sexy times, than more frequent less exciting sexy times.
    let her know it's important to you that she feels comfortable
    show non-sexual affection
    buy her a "toy"-believe me, it will help! When the time is right.

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  • by NeoPlasmaX on May 5th, 2009

    NeoPlasmaX

    30 is sometimes too early for the hormonal change... This varies from woman to woman a lot...

    Most women I've known say (if they felt a change) if was around 35-40, some as young as 32 (don't think any said they noticed at 30)... Closer they get to menopause estrogen levels decrease...

    Both men and women have testosterone... The female has much lower amounts of it compared to estrogen... Testosterone is what gives you a sexual drive for both men and women alike... When a women has hormonal changes as they get closer to menopause, their estrogen levels start to drop a little... The testosterone levels will be a little higher than normal by comparison and it doesn't take but a very slight change to influence a woman's drive...

    Ever hear stories of why women want to have sex after something really exciting? This is because excitement does stimulate testosterone release as well as other hormones... So a woman is more likely to lust after a guy after something exciting...

    A lot of your attitude can make a huge difference... Making an evening entertaining (doesn't have to be very exciting) like dinner on the town or something helps bring out a small rush that can entice sexual activity plus it also engages you two in a more sensual time together where stress and helps clear the mind to allow you to put attention towards each other...

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