- NEW!
by MisterKnowItAll on August 14th, 2009
I'd say if you're here asking this question, your kid has clearly already won the battle. People make their own decisions all the time. Once a kid realizes that you don't actually have any authority over them that they do not grant to you, you'd better have their respect by that point, because if you don't, you're screwed. There is no way to ground a kid and make them obey the ruling - they stay based in a respect for you as a parent - if that doesn't exist, your role is voided in terms of being a shot-caller. It has nothing to do with legality - she might be a legal adult at 18, but that doesn't mean she's legally obligated to follow your decisions until then.
by Lady Alathia of Vulcan on August 14th, 2009
In the United States, she is a minor until she is 18. THEN she can make her own decisions and do what she wants.
by teresa on August 15th, 2009
my daughter is 19 lives under my roof and until she gets a job and makes her own way with her cell phone bills and her needs I will expect her to show me total respect for who I am and that is her mother
by DaniD on August 14th, 2009
If she wants to be treated like an adult, treat her like one and hand her a bill. Then see if she still feels the same. Haa
by Safarii on August 14th, 2009
My daughter just turned 17 & while i give her more freedom & trust unless she acts foolishly & loses it I still have rules in my home that will be followed & respected. That would go for anyone living in my home. Its a matter of respect & overall courtesy for all. She is not old enough to make her own decisions on big things so i let her always feel free to come to me & discuss but nothing she says is final in my opinion.
by Lillian on September 8th, 2009
She's a minor until she turns 18 and she does what you say until she moves out.
by randomness - is now a Maestro on September 8th, 2009
It depends what these 'decisions' are. She is still a minor until she is 18 (in some places this is different, check your local laws), so she cannot decide to buy alcohol, or sign a binding legal document or things like that. However, she CAN decide to do certain things without your input, like seek medical treatment, have intercourse, and leave school (again, check local laws, this might be different where you live).
The fact of the matter is that once she decides that she doesn't need to follow your rules anymore, she won't follow them unless she wants to. You need to make her want to follow your rules out of respect and love, otherwise she won't.
by RustyShackleford on September 8th, 2009
Simple solution: cut her off financially, and tell her that she can make her own decisions, and then live with the consequences, with absolutely no hope of being bailed out by you.
There are 2 possible outcomes:
1. It turns out that she's very intelligent and mature for her age, and is able to make a very good life for herself. In that case, you can pat yourself on the back for a parenting job well done.
2. Within a week, she's broke jobless, homeless, and has absolutely no clue what to do. She realizes that she has a lot of growing up to do, and maybe, just maybe, you do know what's best for her sometimes, at which point she comes crawling back.
Really, it's win/win.
by Ganja Girl on September 8th, 2009
your house, your rules..if she pays rent and utility to you, tho, she should be treated as an equal adult in your household.
by AnnieB on September 8th, 2009
As long as she lives in your house, her decisions should be made with your rules in mind. Otherwise, like in the real world, she'll have to pay the consequences.
by Thriftymaid on August 17th, 2009
Hopefully, at 17, your daughter is equipped to start making wise decisions. However, until she reaches the age of majority in your state, you are charged with being the parent of a still child.
by George R. McCasland on August 17th, 2009
Here's a couple of things of use in this.
http://tinyurl.com/TeenPrivacyRight
http://waits4u.com/dad/circleoflife.pdf
by Sokoot on August 15th, 2009
Not as long as she is living in your house.
by Thriftymaid on August 15th, 2009
In most states at 17 a child may be emancipated (become an adult) by petitioning the court. If she doesn't do this she is a minor until she reaches the age of majority in your state.
by mweaver on August 14th, 2009
Unless she files for, and receives, legal emancipation, she's still a minor at 17. As long as she lives in your home (be it 17 or 35) she must still respect the rules of your home. It's your home. Make that clear. If she decides to move out and try to be an adult, well, life's lessons will be quickly learned, but that decision is hers.
by Marguerite on August 14th, 2009
She doesn't want to be treated like a child. It's understandable, so give her choices she can make so that she begins to learn responsibility. She doesn't have to make all the decisions on everything. I remember when I was 17 and graduated from high school at that age. I had to make many decisions even if I wasn't 18. One was where to go to college and then enrolled in one.
by Anonymous on August 14th, 2009
You're her mother and feel the need to ask if it's true?
Jesus, if you were my mom I'd be able to walk all over you.
Eyy yi yi.
18!
by Celeste: It is what it is. Like it or not on August 14th, 2009
Yeah,and if she can make her own decisions,then she can accept the consequences of her actions.Let her know this.Tough love works better.*+++++*
by Zack on August 14th, 2009
So tell her you can make your own decisions too. Then kick her out of the house and see what she says.
by Anonymous T. Jackson on August 14th, 2009
"In the United States, she is a minor until she is 18. THEN she can make her own decisions and do what she wants." LEGALLY, that is!
Actually, she can make her own decisions and do what she wants at any age. That is a surprising realization for most people! If she breaks the law there might be consequences. If she doesn't show up for school, etc. there may be consequences. If she doesn't clean up her room you may try to impose consequences but ... that doesn't always work. Etc. You get the idea.
by Nicola on August 15th, 2009
Not till she is 18
by devillishese on August 14th, 2009
first of all she has to be 18 not 17 and secondly if u let her make a couple of bad decisions she'll realize that she can't do it alone and that she needs u but u can only do this if u think she can handle herself well
by Ron-T on August 15th, 2009
my 2nd daughter turns 18 in october and i think kids have waited for this big day forever and tend to say these stupid and funny things to have some adult powers,let them dream on as they will see its your home your rules they dont like it they can move out,even if my kids are 50 and at my house its simple....my house my rules,enjoy listening to her "dreams" lol
by Anonymous T on September 8th, 2009
Try to stop Her and the only
thing You'll menage to do is
make Her hate and disrespect You.
by Hayzen on September 8th, 2009
It's true. She can start by getting a job and paying for her own bills.
by Spicy Hot on August 14th, 2009
The laws are different in each state, but yes, in most cases she can, In Missouri, a child can leave home at the age of 17, and parents have no recourse. However, the parents are still legally responsible for the child until the child attains the age of 18.
by Nightwatchdog on September 8th, 2009
It depends..on two things mostly - her and you.
Legally your a minor until your 18 or emancipated from the family. I started to regard my daughters as adults when they started to act that way and provided me and my wife tangible proof of acting and behaving in an adult manner. In my house that happened at around the age of 16 years old for the both of them - but not every child is the same as I'm sure you know.
Some children are "adults" at 13, others never seem to grow up - and that's the way it is - you have to judge everyone - children included, on a case by case basis.
by Blackope-Knowledge is Power on September 8th, 2009
In reality, if she does not follow your rules she needs to live someplace else. You should not have to allow anyone who you are responsible for remain in your home and not follow your rules. There is a higher law of accountability then what is written in the law books, and the day that you allow a child to dictate what he or she will or will not do is the day they need to find their own place to live.
Would you be angry if someone called the CPS or the CAS on one of your parents?
by AnonymousGirl on October 19th, 2011
| 3 people like this
"Divorced fathers will not get legal right to access" Are we entering the disenlightenment again?
by Ombliss22 on November 3rd, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Why some people choose to look away and let children being abused?
by SassyPink on November 11th, 2011
| 3 people like this
What should i do ??????????
by Jamila_D on November 2nd, 2011
| 1 person likes this
How can somebody get recognition (and enforcement) of foreign child support order in Virginia, USA? Order is from Europe.
by Anonymous on December 2nd, 2011
| 1 person likes this
You're reading My daughter thinks when she turns 17 she can do what she can make her own decisions. Is this true.
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Comments
Exactly
by JakobA I^_^I the alooney on August 15th, 2009