My husbnd likes 2 dress in women lingerie and stockings. I found out about it & since then he is ashamed of it and considers it as a taboo & would say it's a fetish.He is also aroused when he does cybrsex wz Transexuals on the net.Shall I be concerned?

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Comments

Comments

Comments

• Thanks Violet for your answer... Yes , I know I cannot stand it and we had argued a lot about it! I feel like I'm left in the dark when my husband does those stuff in secret but I end up finding out about them. I asked him many times if he was gay.He said no & doesn't like man! It is just a fetish & curiosity.However, I found out that my husband while on business trip would send out emails to escorts who were even sometimes TS.I would flip out whn finding out abt them!& my husbnd wll jst say I was drunk , I 'm fooling around, I never act on those things! It is Pure fantasy! & other things I 've seen is that he would browse some Tranny dating site ... I dunno , I still think my husband might b hiding somthing ... Wht do you think? And when Cyber sexing with even BDSM women , he would want to dress up in women & pretend he is a little girl and the DOM would be his mommy.The whole thing creeps me out ...

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  by miamia on August 13th, 2009

• oh no.. I think you know what you need to do. Hunny, he is cheating on you. With men. Then he is trying to made you feel like the bad guy, but saying you were drunk etc.
  I had a bf who had a drug problem, and he would say things just like that, that I was hallucinating, crazy, etc.
  Cybering is one thing. I would not approve, but there is no physical interaction. But getting male tranny escorts is WAY over the line.
  I think you should have left him a LONG time ago.

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  by Violet on August 13th, 2009

• sorry I meant he would say :" I was drunk" that he was drunk and did stupid things on the net and nothing is real ... so I haven't caught anything real so far thanks GOD only Virtual but I'm afraid one day a virtual thing will turn into reality.that's what scares me! We talked about counseling as I told him I cannot live with someone like him who does stuff like that on the net ... I dunno if counseling will change him. He said he wouldn't like me to participate in his fantasies as he sees in me the wife he married not like a porn host that would do those creepy stuff.It's hard for me to make a decision and we have a child together.I still love him that is the problem despite all the creepy net stuff he does!

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  by miamia on August 13th, 2009

• counseling won't change him.
  So did he get escorts?

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  by Violet on August 13th, 2009

• Well, nope he would send the emails , the escorts will reply to give him a time ...then he would drop it by not replying to them .so he won't make the move .He sent those emails but never acted on them ! Even once, he had sent an email to a TS that owns a store of clothing, wigs & stuff that Ts wears or even to crossdressers.He told the owner tht he will go to hs/her store to check out a wig but then he end up saying: "sorry I don't have the courage to go to your store..." so he didn't .

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  by miamia on August 13th, 2009

• hmmm..could he possibly have a secret e-mail account?

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  by Violet on August 13th, 2009

• Oh yeah he had 2 like a year ago and that's from which he would send those email stuff .And when I found out about them and was able in my own way to access them . I closed them and they are gone .Now he only has 2 that I know of.his main hotmail & a yahoo. And he didn't bother creating other accounts cause everytime he was like the past 2 I was able to access them! Recently , we have been fighting a lot due to stress ,( he lost his job for a while now) and due to those personal issues .So he has been emailing masseuse ( girls) that he would found on craiglist or backpage .And again , I find out about them , and will go mad at him .He would say I'm fucking around the Net( Excuse the F term) .And there was a last email I saw that he had sent a masseuse an email and when she emailed him back to confirm a date & time .He dropped it and said he wasn't available.

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  by miamia on August 13th, 2009

• that's very strange. I don't know if I could be with someone like that. I'd always be paraniod and suspicious. If you feel the need to check his e-mail (which I think is totally ok), then you don't trust him. AND with the stuff you're finding in his e-mails!! Well, he's a bad husband.
  And you will feel like this forever. I doubt you'll ever be ok with what he's doing, will you?

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  by Violet on August 13th, 2009

• Yes it is strange.You are right , I'm always paranoid & suspicious .I know we have a BIG trust issue . I don't trust him at all . I wish I could ... I tried to but every time I would found out about a new email or thing on the net , I would be disappointed and lose the trust.I know , I'm not Ok.I used to be a Fun Person who laughed at life all the time and optimistic & positive about anything in Life.Now , after only 2 years of marriage , I feel sad all the time , worried , insecure.I dunno what worse things I'm going to find out about the man I married . I force myself to smile ...The thing I regret is to marry someone that older than me.Some of my friends warned me about the age & told me usually men who marry late in life are sex freak ... I really didn't comment on it nor did I thought it's a big issue ... Now I agree 100 % with them! He is 46 & I'm only 28th... We are hoping for him to get a job so we could do counseling and talk in details about all the things that bugs me...

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  by miamia on August 13th, 2009

• oh man, what a tough situation.
  Do you want to stay with him?

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  by Violet on August 13th, 2009

• I made it clear this time , once he founds a job and we start counseling , it's going to be the last chance I 'm giving him.As I 'm so drained from this relationship .It has exhausted me BIG time! Not that I like to talk about myself , but I think I'm still young, smart and speaks 3 languages and I don't deserve this in my life . I'm good to people and I wonder sometimes Why me ? What have I done in my life to deserve a husband like that ?But I know and he knows and he had admitted many times that he has issues and I know it's not me the prob.Lately , he is finally admitting that he has an addiction to pornography which i taught it's a good start if he is.

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  by miamia on August 14th, 2009

• you seems like a great person, and you deserve way better.
  I like your ultimatum.

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  by Violet on August 14th, 2009

• Thanks :-) Yes I really think I have been patient enough ... I have forgiven him a lot and don't know what more I can do ? Thank you so much for listening to me and replying to me ! I was so happy to have found this website yesterday and felt like I needed to be heard. You know , although I have told few close friends of mine about the situation , but I feel embarrassed about it and then regrets that I told them cause some were being very judgemental and would say like things like we won't talk to your husband anymore or will come to your home when he is not there. I think that my husband has a kind heart despite the things he does ... that's actually what kept me in the relationship.But yes, now I'm learning to keep my mouth shut.sometimes , you cannot even trust your own friends.

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  by miamia on August 14th, 2009

• AB is great. It's very addicting though.
  I agree with getting advice from strangers.
  My friends have plenty of their own problems. I have one friend who's fiance cheated on her 4 times, and they have a baby together.. She's still with him..

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  by Violet on August 14th, 2009

• Yes really , it is! and YES it's is addicting :-)!
  I see , yeah exactly , I think better not to add problems on people who already have problems - that's why I try to avoid Friends who give me a negative vibe and wants to even put me more down than I am .Not that I don't want to listen to them but because I think I have enough to worry about - I try to keep positive.
  Yes , I must be hard for your friend who 's been cheated by her fiance ... I think she is still with him because of the baby - I think so many couples refuse to divorce because of the children especially women- Babies are a big responsibility especially if you don't have family close to you to support!

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  by miamia on August 14th, 2009

• she didn't even get pregnant, until after he cheated on her 4 times.. very sad

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  by Violet on August 14th, 2009

• Oh I see ... Yes it is sad :-(... Thanks again!I'm hitting the sack! Good night.

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  by miamia on August 14th, 2009

• me too. Night.

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  by Violet on August 14th, 2009