by pontoof on February 23rd, 2005

pontoof

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I met a guy online, then we met and had sex on the first date. He left town and I haven't heard from him since. I feel bad for rushing things. Is there any way to let him know that I would like to go back and start over?

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Answers. 30 helpful answers below.

  • This is a tough one. Did you all "connect" (pardon the pun) in any other ways besides sexually? What I mean is, did you spend any time getting to know each other and find that you had a lot in common?

    I have to agree with Jack Scotty on this one, he probably was just looking for sex. I don't believe most guys (or women) who use online dating services are like this though nor can I quantify it with any statisticss. However, the key here is that he left town AND he has not contacted you.

    Don't bother feeling bad about rushing things and letting him know you would like to start over because. . .well, to put it bluntly, he already got what he wanted out of this deal. Sad, but probably true. It's probably just better to regret then forget. Find somebody else and be more cautious when using an online dating service in the future.

    I know this is probably not the answer you wanted, but I hope it helps.

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  • by Jack Scotty on February 24th, 2005

    Jack Scotty

    2 things are obvious here.

    #1. All he wanted was sex. If he wants more sex he will call.

    #2. He is not really interested in you. Otherwise he would have called.

    Not to say that you cant find true love on the internet but 9 out of 10 times meeting someone online is about having sex. He surely wasn't turned off by having sex on the first date. Apparently he came to town and got exactly what he wanted. At this stage of the game, if you ever see him again, you can count on him wanting only one thing.

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  • by ImagineMEandYOU on December 26th, 2007

    ImagineMEandYOU

    He thinks your a slut now, so you have two options

    1.call him/contact him tell him your serriously usually not like that and tell him you would like to really get 2 know him ( and make sure u dun have sex with him for a long time after, to prove your not a slut)

    2. Forget him & learn from this.

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  • by Ms. HeartBeat on June 8th, 2008

    Ms. HeartBeat

    You can, but it won't mean anything to him. He got everything you had to give in 4 hours. Why would he come back and "start over?" What could he possibly hope to get from you more than what he already got?

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  • by Pilgrim on April 16th, 2008

    Pilgrim

    It sounds like you were a one night stand and thats the way he wants it. You will probably get hurt if you chase him. i would just learn from the experience and proceed with your life.

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  • by krackpot on October 13th, 2009

    krackpot

    fuck him again and tear his dick off

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  • by funnyfarqua on September 14th, 2009

    funnyfarqua

    Don't internet date, you never know what kind of weirdos are out there.

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  • by Uncle Floyd on August 24th, 2009

    Uncle Floyd

    Probably not.

    He is probably married or in a committed relationship. That's why he "left town" so quietly and so quickly.

    Be kind. Be joyful. Be safe.

    Sincerely,
    Uncle Floyd

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  • by LaurenFortWorth on June 18th, 2008

    LaurenFortWorth

    There really is no way he told all of his buddys that he met a chick on the internet and got laid the first date! Also if he was a respectable guy he wouldnt of put you in the situation to make you have sex or not! Find your self another take notes from this experience and move on!

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  • by ChandaDiane - est. 1975 on June 18th, 2008

    ChandaDiane - est. 1975

    Sweet! No strings attached. Perhaps I am missing the point, but what is the problem?

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  • You are the one that rushed things? And, he left town? Well, I guess if you can find him you could tell him that. Say you want to go back and start over.

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  • by mikemega on June 8th, 2008

    mikemega

    I thought that's what internet dating was all about. I've never gotten into it, but my friends say it's like the newest, easiest way to hook up for one-nighters. If that's not what you're looking for, maybe try making it a little more clear. I would not suggest sex on the first date.

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  • by Death-Oar-Glory on April 2nd, 2008

    Death-Oar-Glory

    Don't regret it.
    Think of it this way:
    Would you rather regret something you HAVE done, or regret something you didn't do?

    You met him, you got some sex... Your only regret is that you didn't get to know him better.
    Well, if you hadn't met him, you might be regretting it alot more. Sure, he might have just wanted sex, but who cares!?
    Honestly? Move on. Don't worry so much about what other people think, and if you want him back, I'm afraid to say it's unlikely. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over it.

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  • by leeloo on April 10th, 2006

    leeloo

    Sorry... but I think he made it clear that he is not interested. learn from your mistakes. obviously, he wasn't the "one". there's better coming your way!

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  • by tearyeyedamerican on April 4th, 2006

    tearyeyedamerican

    My question is "Why would you want to?" It is a pity that people don't take their time getting to "know" someone before getting to KNOW someone. Sex on a first date sends mixed messages. It might indicate to your love interest that you are "easy" and if he can get you this easily, anyone can and he would never be able to trust you so the relationship is doomed from the beginning. Don't get me wrong, I'm not condeming you, I've made my share of mistakes. But, I'm older now and have learned a great deal from my past mistakes. People, especially men, always want what they can't have. If you give up your most prized possesion, your most preciouis gift to give, without a fight, it couldn't be worth much to you and thus he will find no value in it either. Respect yourself, hun, and the rest will fall into place. PS. Wait at least a good six months before getting to know someone in the carnal sense. It may sound like a long time to wait but until that ring is bought and sitting on your finger there is no guarantee that he is with you for any reason other than sex. If he is willing to wait six months then he is waiting for you, not your body. One more thing, holding out can be difficult. However, they make "toys" for such things.
    Much good luck to you, hun.

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  • by ♥AngelHeart♥ on October 9th, 2009

    ♥AngelHeart♥

    He does not sound worthy of starting over with. He has shown his true colors by not contacting you after he left town. I'm sorry you are going through this but it appears he is not interested in a relationship. Try to let go and move on to someone who will honestly Love you and appreciate you and most of all respect you. I wish you the best. :-)

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  • by Meganne on September 29th, 2009

    Meganne

    First of all i'm sorry sweetie. This kind of shit happens way too much.
    The fact of it...sounds like he's not into you. I know thats not what you want to hear but its more likely than not. If a guy wants to see you again, he will find a way. If he doesnt, he wont. It really is that simple. Don't be scared of society's stupid double standard though...Just bc you slept with him the first night doesnt mean thats the reason he's not into you. Regardless of when sex happens...if a guy likes you he will call. trust me.
    Just a bit of advice though...it sounds like you are the type to get attached quickly. If that is the case, maybe you should make it a habit to hold off on sex until you're really sure the guy is worth being attached to, ya know? It might save you a lot of heartache in the future!
    If I were you, I'd move on. Just make sure you know it was his loss! ;)

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  • by reyrey on November 18th, 2008

    reyrey

    it means you were a total booty call guys know when the first meet a girl whether she is going give it up or not. with that in saying if he thinks that you are a slut then that means that he is a bigger slut because he slept with a slut knowingly. don't worry about it let him go and find you somebody else you are so much more than that.

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  • by wthing8 on November 29th, 2008

    wthing8

    No..you are USED MEAT

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  • by Nibble nibble bite nibble on June 30th, 2008

    Nibble nibble bite nibble

    If you haven't heard from him, chances are he was in it for the sex. I would try not to worry about it. In addition, once you sleep with someone, there is no going back. They can imagine you naked anytime they see you. It's just not the same. Move on to someone better.

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  • by Ms. HeartBeat on June 30th, 2008

    Ms. HeartBeat

    There is no way to do that! You cannot "undo" a deed that has been done.

    Men think that if a woman has sex with THEM on the first date, she would do the same thing with anyone else. Guys don't trust women that do things like that with their hearts and emotions. Sadly, you have already been put in the "freak" category and so he has moved on and won't be coming back.

    When a guy is choosing a wife or girlfriend, his mindset becomes something out of 1715, I swear!!! Don't worry about it though. Just let it be a lesson for the future. Men are very traditional and judge women's behaviors traditionally as well. In the future you need to pace yourself, pace him, and establish a relationship with honesty and commitment BEFORE you have sex.

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  • by rio de janeiro on April 4th, 2008

    rio de janeiro

    if thisis really bothering you contact him, if its just a nagging little thought, move on! it was a mistake! we all make them! next time just take it slower.

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  • by bagkhan on February 9th, 2009

    bagkhan

    call him find him and offer him, like a first date, I think he will never refuse.

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  • by emily6 on August 26th, 2009

    emily6

    It sounds to me like this guy is long gone. The only reason you would hear from him again is if he wanted more sex. If that happens I would flat out say no way and leave out the 'starting over again' part. He hurt you why would you want him back into your life? I think your self-esteem will fair much better if you let the whole thing go and not try to contact him. And do not worry what he thinks about you. What you think about you is the only opinion that really matters.

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  • by Sandman on September 28th, 2009

    Sandman

    1. You put out on the first date.
    2. You put out.
    3. He's left town.

    He found out that you're a slut who puts out. He got what he wanted and moved on.
    He's a dog, but knowing that makes no difference.

    Sorry for you but you did, you know.

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  • by blondie44 on October 26th, 2008

    blondie44

    Hey! Look at it this way you got the best part. You enjoyed the Sex nothing wrong with that move on to the next one. I didn't meet the right one yet but I will enjoy the Rides on the way! If he is not a slut neither are you! Enjoy the sex!

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  • by Foxy Roxy on September 20th, 2009

    Foxy Roxy

    honey he is just not that into you....he would have called to set up another date...

  • by unknown on September 14th, 2009

    unknown

    I honestly don't think that there is cause he got what he obviously wanted. I think you can do so much better, don't contact him at all.

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  • by AnnieB on September 8th, 2009

    AnnieB

    About 95% of the men I chatted with on those sites were just looking for ass. I don't think that percentage is much less for women.

    Don't bother with him. Meet someone new and learn from your mistakes.

  • by rcmpgirl on October 9th, 2009

    rcmpgirl

    wow that is crazy do you really like this guy maybe he was a player. you should prob. like contact him in some way(e-mail,call,text.) ask him whats going on maybe that will help.

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