- NEW!
by TheKnife V2.1 - Grandiose and Obnoxious on March 11th, 2007
"You talk too much"
"At least what I say is worth hearing"
"Don't worry, I don't plan on talking to you again"
Or maybe my favorite -
"Sorry, can you say that again? Your voice is kinda weird, I didn't catch it"
by branciforte3241 on March 11th, 2007
I usually just say "ah" and walk away. Sometimes I substitute "hmm". The impression I am trying to convey is "You are not worthy of my time".
by MajesticRich on March 11th, 2007
Use the face, it always works.
"You talk weird"
"You're face is weird"
"You're kind of fat"
"Your face is kind of fat"
"You're too immature"
"Well you have an ugly face"
It works for everything =)
Also if you'd like to try a more mature approach, you don't need a comeback really, just say "ok" and don't worry about it, doesn't matter what other people say. Although I still like the face alternative.
by Leeses Pieces is COATed in chocolate on November 21st, 2009
i used to love comebacks... until I realized that a) it took way too much energy and b) you risk the chances of your comeback just sucking, and you look bad.
these days -- perhaps it's because i finally matured and grew up -- i find that just waiting about 5-10 seconds, shrugging your shoulders, then walking away is the best comeback ever. yea, it's mature, and yea you don't get to say anything fun, but believe me, they come off looking like the idiot, not you.
of note, silence freaks most people out. they panic, they get anxious, they don't know what to expect.
give the unexpected, it's the best comeback ever.
by Cyanotic Wasp on December 23rd, 2008
This is the kind of thing for which there is no "one size fits all" response. If you really want to have snappy comebacks, you have to learn to develop them yourself. For example, read some of the ones posted as responses here and then edit edit edit. You CANNOT come back with a snappy comeback from memory; that comes off wrong every time and looks even more pathetic than just getting angry and walking away -- which can be an appropriate response, by the way.
For example, no one here knows if "you talk weird" refers to an accent, a speech impediment, a novel way of thinking, poor vocabulary -- or exceptionally good one -- or what. So the suggestions you see here are what some respondents might have said if the comment were directed at them.
For example, I'd feel fine with "It's called Standard English. You could look it up if you could read." I know that if someone says I talk "weird" it's because I sometimes use conversational terms that idiots -- and those unfamiliar with the language -- don't understand. I don't know what applies to you.
If I didn't want to piss off the person who said that to me (sometimes I don't, believe it or not), I might just laugh it off and say, "You listen weird." ("You look weird" might also apply in a sort of juvenile way.) A simple "You would know weird, wouldn't you?" leaves some room in your response to decide later whether you want to piss off the speaker or not -- or could just leave them guessing.
On the other hand, perhaps you're just not comfortable with English, if it's not your native tongue. In that case, you can test THEIR knowledge of YOUR language by smiling broadly and calling them some loathsome name as if it was nicest thing in the world you could say to them. But be prepared to duck if the expression on his face shows that he understands you perfectly.
It helps to read a lot of examples of what others have replied to insults thrown their way -- or just manufactured for the hell of it themselves. Winston Churchill, Dorothy Parker, Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain and many other fine writers and speakers had to perfect this kind of riposte in order to advance their own careers -- as speakers and writers.
But keep in mind that sometimes the absolute BEST response to someone making fun of you is to just graciously take it and let them be revealed as intolerant bigots or jerks. It's always a fine response just to be the better person.
by BigDaddyBS on December 23rd, 2008
1) Nah... I think everyone ELSE talks weird! *smiling*
2) Really? I wondered why I couldn't get anyone to understand me! *smiling*
3) Thank you. Now I know how not to treat or be rude to people/strangers! Now, can you explain why it really matters to you, and why you felt the need to bring it up? That would make the explanation complete. *try to stay as serious-looking as you can, then use one of the first, after they sputter a few seconds*
Just don't be TOO nasty... It seems that few people have little tact, and they realize it when someone actually responds to them. Try to be humorous, and remember, obviously, they've not met too many people who speak like you do.
DISCLOSURE: I'm 6'-9" tall. When I'm walking, I get a LOT of looks, and the occasional tactless twit who walks up from nowhere, and asks me various questions, such as
"How did you get to be so tall?" (My father owned a grocery store with a VERY good meat department.)
"How tall ARE you?" (5'-21". Gotta be careful with this one. SOME idiots say "No... How TALL are you?" Ok... I'm big. But not 521#. How do YOU say how tall YOU are? And if my wife or kids are with me, they don't "make" the others calculate it out - Amazingly, VERY few people can do it... They WAG it!)
"How's the weather up there?" (Cloudy, with a little rain. And if they're "friends", I can say "Want me to make it rain on you?")
"MAN are YOU tall!" (Not really... I think everyone else is short!)
by ChuckExAnon on December 23rd, 2008
The same one I use to every smartass...but I'm thinking AB kinda frowns on its use.
Let's see if I can do it without getting into too much trouble:
"_____ you, very much!" Followed by a pleasant smile (optional). I say it kinda fast so the receiving party thinks, but is not certain, that I said "Thank you very much".
If the smartass asks "Did you say _______ you?!? With a straight face I say "Hell, no! I said "Thank you!" with a "Buddy, you're weird!"
I love watchin' the uncertain, questioning expression on the face. :-)
How'd I do?
by Anonymous on April 29th, 2007
Never lower yourself to the level of a moron. All you can do is pitty them. Where will they be in 10 years? 20 years? People like that are their own worst enemy and rarely get anywhere in life.
by gone on March 11th, 2007
Purse your lips together, utter "ooo", and walk away. Why hang out or bother with people like that anyway?
by starnite on March 11th, 2007
Most of the time if you don't reply back then you don't need a comeback. But, if you would like to say something. Then, say "Does it really matter how I talk, everyone is different. That's what makes the world go round."
by Count Orlok on December 1st, 2009
I usually go with it.
If it were a middle aged lady I would walk even funnier, and in a "Lennie Small" type voice follow her around and shout "wait up Ma!" "But Ma, I can't go that fast!"
Other times I'd let my lower lip quiver, hang my head extremely low and S-L-O-W-L-Y walk away, maybe even over to a wall and lean on it. Then (head still low)kick your toe into the ground as if you'll never recover.
You don't have to have come backs all the time to make your attackers look of feel foolish.
by CaptainHarley adores his life penguin on November 21st, 2009
Just say, no, I talk fine, it's just that YOU listen weird!
by Jazz-Man on November 21st, 2009
o lol i get this all the time it either bein small , bein from Birmingham (uk)or my head i have a big head lol ill give you an example this one dude he wasnt teasin i can take that but he was proper takin the mick makin me feel bad bout myself he and one day he went "ey Owen you got a big head" showin off girls laughed i replied "all the better to nut you with" raised my eyebrowse n nutted him lol, but violence is always the answer jus thought it was an amusin story
by Greginnc on November 21st, 2009
I just look at them and walk off Personally I do not need criticism based on some moron's opinion. If they piss me off pretty bad I'd probably say "DO the letters F O mean anything to you?"
by Ray Del Sol on November 21st, 2009
Try to have fun:
1) Takes a weirdo to recognize that.
2)YOu should know!
or 3) Why! thank you (with a big smile)... that unnerves people.
4) If you are a mean looking guy, scaring them may work too, you get a little close to them and bring your head to their ear as if you want to whishper something and shout: WHAT? I AM HARD OF HEARING TOO!!!
5)or You LOOK weird with your fly open... hahaha.
by WilAtHart is DONE on November 21st, 2009
'yeah, so do you, but you dont see me complaining!' walk away.
by pandora on October 28th, 2009
For guy or girl, Tell them they will be better to hear if they clean the c-- out of their ears.
My apologies to anyone who found this really offensive but I hate jerks. Be sure to quickly look in their ears first before saying it. And say it loud.
Then run. LOL
by Theby on December 23rd, 2008
"I will talk louder, I think perhaps your hearing is weird."
by songofjoy on December 23rd, 2008
Yes I do...quite fluently thank you...that was my major in college!
by DudeLer 2 on December 23rd, 2008
I would say, what kind of weird?
.
I know I already talk weird. Generally people dont even comment on my speaking problem. when someone does, i am interested in hearing what they mean.
.
I try and be funny and make a friend in the process.
by raerae on April 29th, 2007
well you should just be like thank you it was nice of me to make you laugh "right" smile and walk away it kills them when you agree with the haters
by 123 on April 29th, 2007
I try not to worry about what other people think of me too much.But Don't get me wrong, there are time when i'd like to give some people a good KO. However, when it comes down to it, its always best to just walk away. Maybe you know that already. Maybe that's why you can't think of a comeback. Besides, they'll get theirs eventually.
by gerrik on March 11th, 2007
Say if i throw a stick will you go away...
by phantom -x- on December 1st, 2009
Say "Jesus doesnt love you"
by ard munch on December 1st, 2009
"no, i don't. you just listen weird."
by phantom -x- on December 1st, 2009
say: "haha your funny" or "F*** you", both work well
by Stranger in a Strange Land on December 1st, 2009
"Strange, what part of standard English do you find weird?"
by Lady Elizabeth on December 1st, 2009
YYou're a fuckbag lol
by Beavis - the other white meat on December 1st, 2009
Say "thank you". Value your weirdness.
by Anonymous on December 1st, 2009
Turn to them and threaten them with this, In these exact words "Really! Shut-up or I'll stick my head up your ass!" When you say this make sure you look all crazy and don't blink, then laugh in a maniacal manner.
by Anonymous on December 1st, 2009
I don't think I would even go there...."you talk weird" is lame enough on it's own...Who ever it is doesn't need your help to look stupid...They seem to have mastered it
by BSL is the PITS on December 1st, 2009
You look weird.
by Valche on November 21st, 2009
"Shut the hell up, dick." Short and sweet.
by keep_on_dancing_to_the_tune_of_life on November 21st, 2009
im litting candles for them, and followed by a pray for peace of their soul. . .:)
by Anonymous on November 21st, 2009
You could say: At least when I speak, it is worth listening to what I have to say."
by Marguerite on November 21st, 2009
I've been told that. I tell them it's regional. I have to be nice, but I could say other things to put them down. Naw....why waste my saliva?
by Gene H on November 21st, 2009
Just say, "It's not me. Your ears are funny." Works on more than one level.
by Kayleigh on November 21st, 2009
I would say 'Thank you.' or something like 'And you're normal?' Keep in mind that everyone has their flaws. Btw if you respond to them with saying something that actually is the opposite reaction from what they expected they will have no comeback on that either.
If you choose to react keep it short and after that do not react to their useless counter. They will be the ones embarrased when you don't reply and they keep talking.
by spock's brain on November 21st, 2009
I don't have your problem.
.
Unfortunately, all my great comebacks come to mind only the day after I needed them!
by NancyJean on November 21st, 2009
Ask them if that was English they were speaking because to your knowledge there is no language called weird!
by FishCat on November 21st, 2009
"You talk weird."
"Bo I bon't."
by yummy_mummy on November 21st, 2009
I would say "yah well atleast im not ugly, I can change the way I talk, you cant change the way you look!"
by Stranger in a Strange Land on November 21st, 2009
I walk away. I don't need insults. +4
by ya mam on November 21st, 2009
when someone says your weird reply by saying
your mum/dad dint complain last last :P
by malevolentbutticklis on December 23rd, 2008
You need to escalate it. Throw your drink on them.
by mike mcenroe just cannot be serious maa on December 23rd, 2008
"you talk weird"
"i'm sorry,but your'e going to have to take your shorts off if your going to talk out of your a---e,i can barely understand you:)
by ohmagato on April 29th, 2007
stick your fist out and say " run into my fist" haha
by MG1942 Has a Life Penguin on April 29th, 2007
Yea, I'm kinda big. I don't get that too much. I'd say something like, "Ya know, alot of people take things for granted, like the ability to chew solid food....."
by morrislook on December 23rd, 2008
Just say, that’s funny! That is what my X friend used to say
Can we change the subject I don’t want to think about him?
by interested on December 23rd, 2008
yo momma!
Name something that maybe harsh but none the less is fair?
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You're reading When people make fun of me, i have no comebacks. if someone said," you talk weird." whats your comeback. i need help.
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Comments
Whoever rated this down, please explain how my comebacks are unhelpful when the question asked for comeback, there's a good chap/lass.
by TheKnife V2.1 - Grandiose and Obnoxious on March 11th, 2007
HA HA HA HA.
Oh btw, I rated it +3.
by laksjfdhasdlkjfhalsdjfh on December 23rd, 2008
+6 great answer.
by Theby on December 23rd, 2008
+3
by phantom -x- on December 1st, 2009