You are looking for a File Transfer Protocol, or FTP. I don't know much more than that, but all you need to know, including where to look on your hard drive for the software, removal tools, etc., is in the links below. The first link is in "Plain English", the second is a little more in depth with more links to the tools you will need after you locate the protocol.

http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/FTP
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File_Transfer_Protocol

This is a major breach of privacy, and fairly sophisticated. She may have had some help with this. Wifey is out of control, man.

If this is a WIndows computer, press Ctrl-Alt-Del all at the same time to bring up the "Windows Task Manager." Look at the list of "Applications" and see if there is anything listed that looks like it would monitor your actions. Also look under "Processes."

If you are not doing something that you shouldn't be doing, then you have nothing to worry about.

Yeah, there is loads of ways to do it, My favourate one is pretending to be chatting to a hoar or something online, then when she confrunts you, you show her it was your best friend and you knew she was up to something. Personally if your having doubts like that there could be something a little bit wrong in the relationship, i mean if you cant trust her who can you trust?

Pandora Heartd from the Black lagoon

download 'PrcView', which is a process viewer from Symantec I think (its 100% free). It will show you everything that is running on your computer, and even rate them according to how dangerous they are.

It would take a sharp eye and knowledge of the Task Manager to notice such a thing, but there *are* ways.