HOW DO I STOP MY 4 YEAR OLD FOSTER CHILD CONTINUALLY ASKING DO YOU LIKE ME?

Before the child even asks say something like,
"Did I tell you today how much I like you?
This will reassure him/her that they're in a safe and loving environment.

You just keep telling the child yes. He/she will stop asking eventually. Give the reassurance they seek until they don't need it anymore. Foster parents are wonderful people.

Well, obviously the child is insecure.

So really, all you can do is say yes until the child feels some kind of stability.

Reassure him before he asks?
;-)

WOW!!!
the child is very insecure about adults feeling towards him.
Show him that you care about him in ways that his other supervisor's didn't.
It does not mean that you have to buy him material things. Such thing's as sitting together and talking about his/or her problems and figureing out a solution on what they might want to do to best suit there problems.

Cut the kid some slack. S/he's probably been shunted around to several homes already.

Answer positively, and the question will come up less often.

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER STOP TELLING THAT BEAUTIFUL GIFT GOD GAVE YOU, THAT YOU DO LIKE HIM/HER,PLEASE SAY IT DAILY, TELL HIM/HER SOME DAY YOU LOVE HER/HIM, AND EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANS.PLEASE READ BELOW


I AM A 21 YEAR OLD MAN, WHO GREW UP IN FOSTER CAN IN FLORIDA FROM AGE OF 1 year old, white blond hair blue eyed boy !..I personally lived in the "system" for my entire life until i ran away when i was 16 year old, i lived in 1 really good home that help me become and man, but they where only a family with big heart, no money, nothing to give but bedroom and good principles, they took in thousand of kids only to retire because of all the bad attention and people trashing there name, but i also lived in some of the worst homes out there,homes that made you leave the house at 6am not return until 8pm when it time to go to bed, the worst parts about the system to keep this short are as follows,
1.the people who where "considering adopting" like one kid, it was total joke it was like "rent a kid" then they throw you back to the system when you don't "fit in".

2.all the BS consolers and doctors pushing drugs down your throat if you do have the right attitude towards "the system" and accept there reality.

3.having white children in black home, sound racists im sorry but it was weird being the white kid, im sure it wasnt fun for the black kids trying to explain to kids at school why they live in white home either.

3. people who use blog threads and comment sections to make 3rd party comments, and stats about how bad the system is and talk about the people who come from the system and all the problems they might have or do have, and forget that the internet is forever and there comments will be seen by people from "the system" one day.

4. turning 18 years and no ones gives shit and the system no longer cares, yea it super hard to have NO family support,then the pay check stop, and then Obama passed credit card reform bill that say you have to be 21 before your issued credit unless you have parents co sign!..(ummmm what about the people who want to go to college? what about the 3 year before we hit 21???? me personally amex,visa have been the only parents to ever give me dime, of course at 30%,but now all the young people coming into the system are screwed.)

5. knowing that your simply a stat and test dummie for government that doesnt help anyone, and your only worth $600 dollars a month, until someone decides your no longer worth that much and shift you to another home or location.

6.allowing the school system to inform all your teacher of who you are and problems they might have with you?

7. parents who come back into kids lives after years of separation and think they can do the job better than the parents caring for the child, ( look if you gave up dont come back until you got damn good solution and reason why this happen, not one foster kid need parents to come back and pretend they did it right, or can do it right, if you come back, earn it, work your ass of to make it right even if you never will.most of all dont tell the people taking care of your kids what to do cuz your not the one doing it.

I could go on and on, but reality is im not helping by doing this,every kid or person that was every in the system that i meet became my sister or brother, i have lost contact with almost all of them due the shuffling game, some where true rebels without a cause just needed direction, just needed mentor,people who don't get paid to chill with them, but want to, i got lucky, im 21 years old and i attached myself to people who didnt mind mentoring me and my ADD good people who didnt give rats ass about my past which is good cuz it something people want to stand far away from, i understand there alot of good people in the system trying very hard and i tip my hat to you and say please dont give up, but there far more people who are not good and not helping and the government is the first people to look at, again the people are good, the government has its own intention for foster kids, remember we belong to them,we government property, who knows why im not with my parents,but every random soul i did meet who did try make difference, even if they dont know it,i will always remember and so will god...also if your in the system reading this statement know that there are force bigger than this world, meaning GOD brought you to this post, he is watching, stay positive,and find your pride, its deep inside, and when you do, where it like badge of honor, your true solider who made it on your own... and start your own family.

"i am watching", "i do listen", and "i just think no one cares"

I have story that way to long for this comment box but every one person can make difference, i devote my life to this mission and helping people, i hope one day i can truly make difference in foster system, but only with more people in our community who care about the neighbors.

...grab their hand...lift them up to you, spin them around...smile at them, look into their eyes...SMILE BIGGER!!!!! SCREAM!!!.....I love you I love you I love you...NO I DONT LIKE YOU, I LIKE YOU EVEN MORE THAN THAT...I LOVE YOU!!!..AND THen put her down, and say..."THIS MUCH!!!" and stretch out your arms as much as you can...and say like the whole world!!!...LIKE INFINITY!!!!!!!!!

...then just make it a ritual, lol...the sheer excitement will kill the insecurity!!

I think the suggestion that you reassure the child before they ask is a good one.

I have a question. Why is it bad that the kid asks? The kiddo must care about and respect you to care if you like them.

Uhhh.....you DON'T.

You don't think about YOUR needs when you are raising a child who has been from one home to another where people most likely didn't give a rat's ass about him or his needs, because his self-esteem tells the whole story of his life to date.Frankly, I am astonished at how self-serving your question is, and I don't mind telling you one bit.

Had you given a damn, your question would have read "How can I help my foster child feel more secure" or "How do I raise the self-esteem of my foster child?"

Instead, I am up to my eyeballs in YOUR needs. I couldn't care less about meeting your needs, and I hope like hell that child is out of your "care" as soon as is humanly possible. Your heart isn't in the right place for these children. +0

if you foster kid is asking if you like him or her that means he is aware that he was adopted and is scared that you might leave him like they did before? he only wants to know that hes safe and has someone that likes him if not he will have to go again. this could be his fear and so just chat with him because if he can ask do you like me and hes a foster kid he is worried. he might not look like hes old enough to know certain things but you would be surprised. so he will stop once he feels completely safe and just give him a little more attention so he know u don’t want to leave him.

I constantly ask my mother this question when i was younger. The child must feel lonley and abandoned. My father abandoned me (basically left me to bite the dust). I kept thinking that my mother would leave me too. Plus, if he jumps from home to home, he may be afraid of moving again. Maybe he was abused and feels safe with you. Maybe he dosen't want to lose that security.

Consistantly tell him that you like him, and that you praise him for hard work. Maybe sit down and have a convo, like if he were a friend. He will maybe stop asking as time goes on.

It is so sad to hear that a little child as young as four, has to keep asking a question like that. Obviously this child is insecure, has very low self-esteem and self-worth. What he/or she needs is constant reassurance at this point in time. Always tell the child that they are indeed liked and loved, and that they really have no need to ask you that. Hopefully, eventually the child will come to trust and believe in what you are saying.

Say no?

Let her ask as much as she needs to -- she is trying to trust you and find security with you. She will get there. Peace.

Tell her/him constantly before they have to ask you. And make it "I love you", instead of "I like you".

Have you tried hitting it?

Why are you a foster parent if you cannot deal with something so basic?

Oh that is so sad!! This child is feeling very unsure of the situation and so is looking for constant reinforement. Please provide that reassurance as much as possible.

The child is expressing a deep-rooted insecurity. You need to continually reassure. When you succeed in making them secure, the questions will stop.

ou just nedd to keep reassuring the child on how much she/he mesns to you.

it's just childish. Ask him/her the same question back few times. I bet they will stop it.

You know what - call social services - if cannot reassure her/him - you do not deserve her/him