Maybe you are like me ...

I am VERY choosy about someone to be in a relationship with ....

I do have very high standards and I expect anyone I am involved with to have the same or at least very similar standards ....

Perhaps that is why I am single again ... LOL ... BUT: I will not compromise my standards or ethics for anyone ...

I could be a blessing in disguise. Relationships are a pain in the ass and a lot of work. Being single is the best. I wouldn't be in a relationship for a million bucks! You should being single...ahhhh the freedom!!!!

I can understand that's frustrating. But I can't help wondering, based only on what's evident in your question, what is driving your quest for a relationship?

You're fed up with "the single life", whatever that is... is there a Single Lifestyle Council which declares what a single life is? You mention that your friends are in relationships -- are you feeling like they're leaving you out now, or is there some envy of them?

And why are you trying to "find somebody"? What does "somebody" have that you need?

Here's my suspicion: you have a lot of ideas about what a relationship is, you think you're incomplete or can't be happy without that, so you want one. It's sort of like that you have a job opening, and you've put up ads, but aren't getting qualified resumes or something. What does any of that have to do with connecting with a specific person?

Love is what happens when there is a mutual experience of knowing and appreciating another very specific person at an extraordinary level. It isn't the solution for a job opening. A generic "search for mate" is like scanning the horizon for a ship of appropriate dimensions, rather than actually relating to a specific human being authentically.

You have to stop treating it like some sort of factory order you're trying to fill. Live your life, and enjoy your freedom. If you aren't fulfilled by that, find out why. Then, if you happen to discover someone whom you really connect with, let that connection grow. There's no schedule that needs to be met.

I don't know hon... When you figure it out, let me know too.


I suppose I haven't found anyone yet, because in the back of my head and heart, I keep hoping my ex will love me again.


But I know that isn't going to happen because he lied to me and used me and never did in the first place.


My mother called it; "Living in hope and dying in despair."

I am exactly like you.Try to be happy and enjoy your time ,it will come to you only you have to have patient.Br happy and look good then it will come to you.that is my advise to you.
thanks

As for everything else in life, the right relationship will happen, but only at the right time. So don't pressure yourself about meeting someone because your friends have. I think it's wise of you to set uncompromising standards for yourself, because in the end you'll get exactly what you deserve. And often times the bigger requests in life takes the longest time to come to fruition. A wise woman once told me that if you look for love you'll never find it, but as soon as you stop looking that is when it will find you. Don't lose hope because you could be alot closer to meeting the right man than you think.

The older I get the more I enjoy being single. I raised my kids and partially grandkids.
I no longer have to listen to a woman snore or whine about things i could care less about. I watch what I want to watch on TV. If I feel like masturbating I can guilt free, I eat what I want, I can make messes and not worry about whether I clean them up or not, I do as I damned well please on my computer, sleep as late as i like, go to bars if I want even though i no longer drink, can flirt with impunity and can look at other women whenever i want without getting the elbow to the gut..I mean...where's the down side?
We split up about 4 yrs ago and the more time goes on the less i miss her even though I do miss her from time to time.. We were together 22+ years and we both put up with each other all that time and in retrospect i really have no idea why. There were so many times i wanted to just belt her a good one, but never did.
In short, my life is much more peaceful, less stressful and I sleep much better than ever before.

I offer up my 28 year old single co-worker... come to Northern NJ and I will introduce you.

im in the same boat as u, i guess were suppose to be patient, but ur right it does suck lol

I have one piece of advice for you that is invaluable.

Don't play the victim.

You have a problem, you want a relationship.

You can sit around stewing in your own anger right now, or you can go somewhere and see if you would be able to meet someone.

It's very easy to blame life for not throwing you a bone, but it's actually our own fault for not fetching it.

Sorry, I know I'm being a little harsh. But it's a thing that I realized a few weeks ago that has changed A LOT for me.