ANSWERS: 7
  • Seems like you've known her long enough to have an honest discussion with her. I think I'd start by asking her about the mixed signals. If that goes OK, then tell her how you feel. Your next move would depend on how your discussion makes you feel about the possibility of a future relationship, or whether you can continue your friendship. I've recently gone through a similar situation (except that there was no third guy involved). I was getting mixed signals, we seemed to be dating, but were not moving forward. So one evening, at dinner, I started the discussion. The result? Good news all around, I'd say. I now know we're not dating, we are still friends and spend a lot of time together, and I've gotten to know him well enough to dicide I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him anyway.
  • I think it's quite normal for her to be doing that right now. She's just split with her gf so she's dealing with that. Plus, what is probably the unexpected surprise of you. It's alot to take on board & she may need some time to put things together. I'd speak to her, let her know how you feel but also let her know if she's not ready it wont end the friendship
  • The key word here is "just" split. She needs time to process what recently happened in her life. YOU are all ready to go...she's not, nor should she be... Surely you don't just want to be her REBOUND buddy? I don't believe in playing head games either... You might tell her something (if true) like: "I've been attracted to you for some time now. I think you are a wonderful person, and I'd like to see if we can grow closer. But, I understand that you need some space right now. It may not have been the wisest thing for us to be sexual the other night, but I wanted to be with you pretty badly. When you feel ready to consider it, I'd like to work on us knowing each other better." Then...you back off some...and cool your jets! Call and invite her to lunch during the week, the next week maybe go to a movie, or dinner, or both....LEARN TO BECOME FRIENDS FIRST... You say you are friends...and well you may be, but you want to develop the next phase of friendship...perhaps romance and a deeper caring...so act like a friend...let her vent some, cheer her up, talk about things you want in your life...your goals and encourage her to share the same...Don't just jump her bones because she is willing to let you!
  • I think this is all true. Thanks :)
  • Just keep going with the flow until she figures out what she wants.
  • Well I got my answer. She's so sorry but it's too soon and her head is fucked up. Great. My one glimmer of hope in my oh so shit life, just taken away like that. Absolutely GUTTED.

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