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by RuthTO on July 1st, 2009

RuthTO

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My ex has most of my belongings, It’s been over 10 months I can’t ask for them as he won’t talk to me I don’t have a car and not much support, he hasn’t offered. Anyone explain why he’s doing this?

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Answers. 10 helpful answers below.

  • by chickenchaser on August 3rd, 2009

    chickenchaser

    It's a control thing. Sometimes your freedom is much more valuable than material objects. All of the things left behind can be replaced, but you cannot. Stay strong.

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  • by tossable_salad on January 24th, 2011

    tossable_salad

    cause he's a dick

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  • by steele56 on August 3rd, 2009

    steele56

    Power and control...thats a given. IF you want your stuff and no money to get it....call legal aid in your town.
    IF you have anything that proves that you own the stuff,the better.
    People that do that like the control and think they have the power. If you really DONT need the stuff..because thats all it is anyway...For the future....If you ever get involved with anyone again and this goes for everyone...Put your name somewhere on the item where they can't see it. and make a list. Put it away for future use if you need to. If you could take a pic that's good too. The way to make a power and control freak go crazy...DONT PLAY THIER GAME...As long as you show emotion or ANYTHING it justifies thier control. Walking away and not even giving someone like that the time of day and egnoring them will make them (in time) they have no control and it won't be "fun" for them anymore. My ex...he decided that he would give child support on what HE wanted to give...it was 25 per kid. I had to go to the food bank for food. I didnt play his game. Went to court and he ended up paying 800 every 2 weeks. He had a really good job. What comes around go around. Go to Legal aid. They should be able to help you. or call the court house and tell them your situation. they might be able to help you. But you got to have proof.
    Good Luck..stay strong !

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  • by Bluemuun on July 6th, 2009

    Bluemuun

    Power, Control. It's what he feeds on.

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  • by RuthTO on July 1st, 2009

    RuthTO

    Thanks I’ve had poor communication with him. I moved to this country on my own, it’s taken me a few years to set myself up with work and a life. Those belonging are about 2 years of my life my cloths, jewellery books and some new things I had bought for when I would have a place of my own. I left him but I felt I had to I knew I didn’t have anyone to turn to after that and he spoke to me so disrespectfully that I’m afraid to call him now. He has everything here his family friends and security, I really don’t have much and no-one that I can call on in that kind of way. I’ve bought lots of new things for myself now I just don’t understand why he won’t help me at all when I was lovely to him up to the point where I left but I had no choice, I really walked out into the world again all on my own, he has everything and would be like this to me that’s what really hurts, he knows I don’t have anyone. Thank you for your answer.

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  • by merry1 in a Texican COAT on July 1st, 2009

    merry1 in a Texican COAT

    He has no voicemail where you can leave a message? No address to mail a letter? No friends you can ask to pass along a message?

    If so, give it up - the man doesn't exist.

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  • by Ganja Girl on July 1st, 2009

    Ganja Girl

    i cant tell you why he is doing this, but if you have lived ten months without these items, let him keep the stuff, he looks like a bigger chump for withholding items that do not belong to him. being juvenile. or, you can do what many of us have had to do male and female alike..call a cab, have the police in that town escort you to his home and retrieve your belongings, they usually are willing to do anything to discourage domestic dispute. good luck.

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  • by Anonymous on July 1st, 2009

    Anonymous

    I hate to say this but i think your ex has some psychological issues. It sounds like he has not got over your break up even though it has nearly been a year. I think he is hoping that you will find a way of getting over to his house to collect them and you will realise that you miss having him as your boyfriend and that you will get back together.
    If this is the case and you do go over to his house, and you don't want to get back with him, explain to him that you are happy to have him in your life but only as a friend. If he can't stand to be apart from you, then he should understand how you're feeling and accept your offer. Hope this helps.

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  • by true love conquers all on August 3rd, 2009

    true love conquers all

    he is doing this cause he is cruel and mean .. u treated him good and he is being immature.. if i were u i would just forget about ur stuff and just let it go.. he's not worth ur time and energy take care

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  • by laaayla on August 3rd, 2009

    laaayla

    I'm sure there has to be at least one friend with a car or truck to help you get your "stuff". But first, I would call the local police station and explain the situation. They may allow you to go in and get your things. They probably won't give you much time though. The reason he's keeping your stuff is to get back at you.

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