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  • In this type of situation, it has to be the child that matters. How old is the child? (If she's 1, it won't make that much difference.) Has your husband been an active part of her life so far? (If so, then he should be there now for her birthday.) Do you think that you could controll your emotions enough to go with him? (If so, that would keep both your man and his ex on the "straight and narrow." But if not, you might do irrepairable damage to the child.) Further food for thought: do you accept and love your step-daughter? Your question is the only thing that makes me think you may not. It seems to me that if he's a part of her life, then you should be a part of their life. (I hope you don't take offense at this; I just wanted to throw it out there for your consideration, in case it might help.)

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