As a single man, you have NO ASSUMED RIGHTS to the child. Watch the movie trailer at the link below about a single father. ᵅ

But, some recent material shows there’s a possible option that you could file for custody even before the child is born, in the state where the child was conceived.

Get an order enter forcing a DNA test, unless one has already been done.

DO NOT PAY ANY KIND OF SUPPORT FOR THE CHILD UNTIL A DNA TEST IS DONE, AS IT ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CHILD.

Once you begin paying child support, regardless of whether you are the father or not, you can be required to continue paying.

If you are paying without a court order, it can be considered a gift, with you ordered to repay for the same time period, especially if she's on Welfare.

If one has not been done, go to the child support enforcement to setup a voluntary order. Wait for them to file against you will result in you paying all court costs of up to $5000.ᵉ ᶠ

Take a certified parenting course. The court is going to order you to take it anyway, so by showing you’ve taken it only looks good to them.

Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.

Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You’re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state. Now, you can't just record, you also have to transcribe it into the daily journal.ᶜ

If you are being denied access, write her a letter notifying her of intent to exercise visitation on a specific date, like Saturday 10 AM to 6 PM. Sign it and make three copies. Mail the original Certified Mail and the other with Delivery Confirmation (75¢ + postage). If she rejects the one, she still receives the other. Whether the Certified Mail confirmation card or the Certified letter comes back, attach it unopened to a copy of the letter, plus a printout of the Delivery Confirmation from the web link below.ᵇ

When you file for visitation rights, take these documents to the County Courthouse. Have the Clerk of the Court notarize it and than place it in your case file. Do this three times before considering going to court. When you do go to court, the judge will these letters while preparing for the hearing.

When you show up to pick up the child(ren), bring witnesses. Do not enter her place alone. If you can record, have someone video record. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record audio and/or video without the mother knowing. If her state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling, which says one person in a conversation, must know they are being recorded. THAT’S YOU!

The court will order you into mediation, so take the lead first and suggest it to her. Instead of hiring attorneys, going to a mediator, you can hammer out an agreement. A mediator is an attorney or paralegal with certified training as a mediator. You each have to pay half the fees in order for the mediator to have the appearance of being unbiased.

If you and the mother are civil, consider Bird Nest Custody. In this the child lives in one home and each parent live there for 3-4 weeks, than switch. You live with friends, family, rent a room, etc. on the off time. In this manner, your child’s life is not disrupted. They are not being shifted back and forth. They keep their own room, friends, school, etc. It is hard on the parents, but than the child comes first. This is the form of custody rocker Ted Nugent had.ᵈ

If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. Upon joining, you will receive a link to an educational manual that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do.ᵍ
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ᵅ Fathers Rights: The Movie
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm

ᵇ United States Post Office: Delivery Confirmation
http://www.usps.com/.../...mationservice.htm

ᶜ Can We Tape
http://www.rcfp.org/taping/

ᵈ Bird Nest Custody
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GiveKidsAChoice/

ᵉ Child Support Calculator
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childsupport/

ᶠ Child Support Laws - At What Age Does Child Support Stop?
http://www.child-support-collections.com...

ᵍ Dads House
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/


ʰ JURISDICTION OVER AN IN UTERO CHILD
http://www.hiltonhouse.com/.../..._Jurisdiction.txt

Other sites to check
Fathers & Families
http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/

Parental Alienation Syndrome
http://www.parentalalienation.org/

if a court didnt deside that then he has every right ot see his son whenever and where ever he feels like it

That's not up to the parents. He should petition the family court for unsupervised visitation. (This is of course assuming that he hasn't done anything criminal which would obviously create a problem.)

No she cannot.

Might he not be telling you the whole truth about his relationship with the ex and the child?

He should contact Friend of the Court or an appropriate local agency to determine his status and rights. Time is essential here...in some circumstances failure to pursue visitation is a factor.