My exboyfriend moved back from Europe after 16 years. We were born at the exact same time and were soul mates. He broke my heart by leaving and finding another, and now he is home and wants to get together with me. We are both married. What would you do?

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• I wish I could give you more than 3 points, well said.

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  by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 3rd, 2007

• Comments are better than points anyway.

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  by SalientAlien on March 3rd, 2007

• I couldn't have come up with anything like that. That is the best answer.

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  by tinybubbles is sitting on the carpet read on March 3rd, 2007

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• He phoned me on my business fax when he moved back last year obsessivly, I didn't know what was going on with my machine, then I bumped into him out of the blue and he explained that he was the one trying to call me.
  A year later he had the courage to call me again and ask me for coffee with his wife. He devised it so it would look like I was helping her business wise so
  he would have no guilt about our meeting. He obviously never told her who I was. I declined angrily. I don't know if the means he wanted sex. Do all men want sex or did he just want to visualize me and put his spell on me again? By the way, he "had" to get married(baby) and he "had" to move to Europe as he was not a US citizen. A very sad tale indeed.I know he sounds awful, but he was a great person. I am happily married, but this just seems to be something that will plague me until he gives me some straight anwers, which at this point, he probably won't. Right?

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  by Anonymous on March 4th, 2007

• In spite of my answer above, I do understand...really. Still, I have to say again that there is no reason for you to meet with him for anything. It's history now, and you have your own life to lead. You said you're happily married, and I think it's great. That is where your attention should be...not on an old boyfriend. Beyond this, since he's also married, I can see no real, honest reason he would want to rekindle ties with you. I think you made the right decision by declining his invitation. Kudos to you :) (I'm going to edit my answer above again...I didn't understand when I wrote it, but don't feel you deserve the "poison pen" stuff I wrote). Best to you....

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  by mystified on March 4th, 2007

• I thank you.Instead of therapy, I have chosen this route. We were 22 when he left. We had dated off and on for 6 years and he had asked me to move with him. He had to move back because of citizenship. At the time, it would have been a dumb decision as I would not have been able to work. I found it hard to start other relationships. He got a foreign woman pregnant two years later, so all bets were off for a reuniting.I wanted to speak to him, but not enough to ruin my life. I just thought he would be less of an enigma this time around and explain himself, but unfortunately, he is still trying to avoid reality. I will never know how he exactly felt about me for my own esteem. I felt like he was just about to explain and he pulled this. Imagine if his wife understood who I was to him? My husband knows nothing about this and I want to keep it this way. In a sense, it has nothing to do with him (honestly), but resolving my past experience. I will come to peace, but it is still very fresh.

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  by Anonymous on March 4th, 2007

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