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by Anonymous on March 3rd, 2007

Anonymous

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Can u determine whether your relationship with someone is serious after dating for 6months and if not is it a waste of time to continue to date this person if its going to be dead end?

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Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by InHonorOfChristinaMarieBello on March 3rd, 2007

    InHonorOfChristinaMarieBello

    I believe it is possible to determine the seriousness of the relationship in six months, but if all is not determined within six months, it does not necessarily mean the relationship is at a "dead end". I think it's very important to go through the five stages of dating before you can be sure if you are with your soul mate. The stages are : Attraction, Uncertainty, Exclusivity, Intimacy, Engagement (in that order). Many people skip stages and end up inadvertently jeopardizing the relationship because they did not create the proper environment for each of them to be sure that they are with the right person or not. Many people actually are dating their soul mate but they don't know it. We often misread each other and therefore think the relationship is going nowhere. For example, it is very normal to go automatically into the Uncertainty stage right after the Attraction stage. You very suddenly find yourself not being so sure if this person is right for you even though you thought there was a good chance they were. You find yourself feeling very confused and if you don't know that this is expected, you might think this person is wrong for you. But if you can wait through the Uncertainty stage, you will come out of it with clarity and then be able to move into being exlcusive. Another mistake that is often made is when people attempt intimacy and THEN decide they want to be exclusive. It is a very good idea to make a commitment to be exclusive FIRST and then become intimate on the levels of mentality, emotionality, spirituality and physicality (to whatever degree you are comfortable as far as the latter). If you are not taking the appropriate time to focus on that ONE person, you will not receive clarity about whether or not you want to be with that person for the long haul. You cannot find the answers to the questions when you are dating multiple people. During the first stage of Attraction, that is a time that it is okay to date multiple people. But after the Uncertainty stage, make a commitment to date only that person. The point of all of this in relation to your question is: If you have gone through ALL the stages of dating including engagement, you should know if you are with your soul mate...whether that takes six months or a year or whatever. By the way, the five stages of dating that I refer to above were developed by John Gray, the author of all the "Mars and Venus" books. If you're interested in reading more, I would HIGHLY recommend getting the book "Mars and Venus on a Date". It's a GREAT tool. And by the way, if you get to the place where you "just know" that the person you are dating is not right for you, do not lose all hope.....you are learning the process of dating with clarity so that each time you assess that a person is not right for you, you will find that with each person, they were more right for you than the last and finally you will find the right person for you. Also, the way you end a relationship directly affects the way you start another, so keep that in mind too. :)

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  • by gamergirl on March 3rd, 2007

    gamergirl

    If they say "I love you" then i believe that will do it...

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  • by American idle on March 3rd, 2007

    American idle

    Problem with me is, I was usually married by then. Um, yeah, don't do that...!

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  • by Anonymous on March 3rd, 2007

    Anonymous

    Yes. six months is an excellent amount to time. if you two do not know each other enough to say you have a working relationship, then its time to hit the road, jack.

    My wife and i dated 6 months, married and still there after 41 years. you just know, when its right.

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