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by Bohemian is back on June 11th, 2009

Bohemian is back

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What I will never understand is how people announce to the press, after their daughter/husband/sister has been murdered, that they forgive the murderer. How can you forgive someone who did such a heinous act?

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Answers. 14 helpful answers below.

  • by Thumper on June 11th, 2009

    Thumper

    I understand your viewpoint on this, however if you do not forgive eventually the hatred will consume you and you will never be truly happy ever again.

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  • by RosieGHM Jetpacker on June 11th, 2009

    RosieGHM Jetpacker

    I neither forgive nor forget harm done by others to my loved ones. I don't understand such people..I am not made of the same cloth.

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  • by iwnit on June 11th, 2009

    iwnit

    1) "3.5 Mitigating circumstances
    3.5.1 Insanity
    3.5.2 Post-partum depression
    3.5.3 Self-defense
    3.5.4 Unintentional
    3.5.5 Diminished capacity"

    "Mitigating circumstances
    Some countries allow conditions that "affect the balance of the mind" to be regarded as mitigating circumstances. This means that a person may be found guilty of "manslaughter" on the basis of "diminished responsibility" rather than murder, if it can be proved that the killer was suffering from a condition that affected their judgment at the time. Depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and medication side-effects are examples of conditions that may be taken into account when assessing responsibility."
    Source and further information:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder


    2) "This 42-year-old murderer is the most despised person in Sweden at the moment. Anyone who’s had the chance to say anything about him has used words of hatred and disgust. Now Engla’s family had the opportunity to speak, and if any had the right to feel hatred it would be this family, of course. But in their words to us, they choose another path, regardless of the crushing heartache they must be experiencing, caused by this man; they choose the path of “peace and love”.

    Although they do not explicitly say they forgive their daughter’s killer, they want to tell us that light and love is a better way than ill-feeling and hatred. They don’t place much focus on the murderer, but rather what we all – and not just their family – can bring with us into the future that will help make this world a better place."
    Source and further information:
    http://herrey.wordpress.com/2008/04/19/how-to-forgive-a-murderer/


    3) "In the news, they are saying that some in the community of Georgetown, PA came to mourn the passing of a murderer. A mass murderer. The murderer of their children. They claim to have forgiven him for what he has done, and have reached out with words of love and consolation to his family.

    To an overwhelming majority of Earth's citizens, this must seem incomprehensible. Perhaps stupid, or disgusting. Perhaps it is so foreign a concept to some of us, we will find it necessary to seek an ulterior motive, accuse these sufferers of lying or at least false piety... there must be some way we can turn the the altruism they claim against them? A good cynic can always manage to smear or jeer even the noblest of words and deeds.

    So say, if you will, that there is nothing noble about forgiving the murderer of your children. Find a way to turn their attempts to heal into a disgrace. Or say, if you will, that such forgiveness could have come out of any religious tradition. I hope you are right on this last point.

    After all, some say we are a Christian nation, but we don't go in big-time for forgiveness. It seems to get trumped by fear every time. Fear of being hit again. Fear of appearing weak. Fear that we won't heal any faster if we forgive. But the biggest fear of all is the fear of discovering that our tormenters are just as human as we are, or we are just as inhuman as they.

    We walk on just this side of a line between sanity and insanity, civilization and barbarity. To single some out as devils, to regard them as being on the other side of that line, somehow makes us feel better, even if it means constantly reaching across that line to slap them off. It wouldn't surprise me if some of the Amish wanted to reach across that line and desecrate Charles Carl Roberts IV's dead body. I'm sure not all of them attended his funeral. But some did.

    As a community, I'm guessing they won't be installing metal detectors or armed guards at the door of their new schoolhouse. They won't be filing civil suits against the family of the murderers, nor will the victim's families against the school. They may never feel as safe as they did before. But they will have a chance of preserving their sanity. Possibly, one day, of laughing again. They won't make themselves as crazy as the murderer. They won't become a revenge-seeking menace to their neighbors. They will heal and live, because they were able to forgive.

    They have taught us a lesson that I hope many will come to learn. I don't care whether we learn it from the Amish or the Pentateuch or the Qur'an, or from Fox's stupid Homer Simpson. I learned it from the words, more importantly from the example, of Jesus. Forgiveness is the road less travelled.

    For once, it's going to make all the difference."
    Source and further information:
    http://www.xomba.com/the_amish_forgive_their_childrens_murderer

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  • by Ice man on June 11th, 2009

    Ice man

    In as much it is very noble of them to say such things, I will never understand it myself.

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  • by Reillydog on June 12th, 2009

    Reillydog

    It is part of the healing process - not to forgive only prolongs the agony. At the point that some say that they "forgive" it might not be the reality, but verbalizing it, especially in a public way, often helps them on the way to true forgiveness. Believe me, it does make a big difference to many of these people.

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  • by Marky Mark on June 12th, 2009

    Marky Mark

    I'll forgive them....after they're dead! (Does that sound bad?)

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  • by Nasiswand on June 12th, 2009

    Nasiswand

    Maybe because they've learned the hard way that forgiveness is the quickest way to heal themselves. I've wanted revenge against someone who wronged me as a child for going over 20 years now. If I had forgiven him before I reached the point I'm at now I would probably have a better life now. As is, he is someone that I think of daily and I don't see an end in sight.

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  • by chickenchaser on June 12th, 2009

    chickenchaser

    There are many who believe that they must forgive in order to gain closure and go on with their lives. They may forgive, but they will never forget the pain of losing a loved one.

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  • by Rude Bear Ready for Winter on June 11th, 2009

    Rude Bear Ready for Winter

    So is it a matter of the press release, or forgiveness? Because they are separate issues.

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  • by Lucky on June 12th, 2009

    Lucky

    It is a set up. They hope the guilty will relax and give an opening for ....well, youcomplete the sentence.

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  • by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on June 12th, 2009

    Sheriff Raff -Answerhag

    I try not to question other people's motivations. I might forgive someone but I certainly won't broadcast it or proclaim it to be reported on by the media.

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  • by Daisy85 on June 12th, 2009

    Daisy85

    I also wondered this. I have been in this situation well sort of, I didn't talk to the press. But I no that if I did thats not what I would have said. It took me a while to be able to forgive the person that murdered my father.

    You have to be able to forgive the person to be able to move on, but I personally don't feel it comes instantly.

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  • by Gnome of Kevonia is a Cheerwine junkie on June 12th, 2009

    Gnome of Kevonia is a Cheerwine junkie

    They are mature and understand the full value of forgiveness. I wish I was completely the same way, I've gotten a lot closer since 2006.

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  • by Lisa was here on June 12th, 2009

    Lisa was here

    I myself would probably ack out Charles Bronsons roll in the vigulanty. However, there are people who believe. How do you expect GOD to forgive you for your sins if you cannot forgive someone yourself.

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