Hi, i could really us some help right about now, my so and his girlfriend want to get mairred there are some problems with her and her mom, she is 16, and her mom wants her out, and my son wants to take care of her, what can i do for them?
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 5
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Well you could start off by not allowing them to marry. That would probably end up being a huge downfall for everybody. Her and her mom need to work out the relationship no matter how bad it is...as long as there is no verbal or physical abuse involved. How old is your son?.....If he is outta school...then he better start lookin for a job, and makin some of that money...if this is what he really wants, to FIRST move out...HAVE a decent job...THEN get married and support her. And I think everybody needs to sit down and have a discussion over this...FIRST anyways. Gimme some more details. can ya?
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Men/boys always want to be the white night and save the damsel in distress. What no one realizes is the that the dragon is actually inside the girl and it can't be slayed. The girl is the problem and your son can't save her. She is flawed because of how she was raised. There was chaos in her house growing up and she will do all she can to keep the chaos going because that is what she thinks is normal. Next, she will get pregnant and have a child and teach that child that chaos is normal. Then, that child will have just as many problems as the mom. What to do? Be a parent and say "NO." Then, try to explain to him, what I just explained to you. If he doesn't believe you, take him to the Self Help section at the book store. There is one called 10 Stupid Things Men Do To Screw Up Their Lives. That might be a good one to start with. Good Luck!
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How old is your son, and have you checked out (I'm sorry, I don't mean to blunt, but you'd be amazed at how often people run afoul of these rules because they don't think to ask) the age of consent/statutory rape statutes where you live? This is especially true if there is a disgruntled relative in the picture -- make sure your son isn't in danger of getting into legal trouble first -- to be on the safe side, assume that anyone who can make trouble will make whatever trouble they can. Next, assuming that the above is not a problem, there is no need for them to get married and she, at least, is way too young. You can help her out without her being your daughter in law. Like schmee said, we need more details. More importantly, though, you need someone who knows what those details mean in the jurisdiction you live in. Get. A. Lawyer. Or, at least call your local Legal Aid Society and have them walk you through it. Good luck. (And I do mean that -- I hope it all works out well.)
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Not getting along with your mom (typical at 16) is NO reason to get married. That marriage would be doomed from the start. You could help her by encouraging her to seek some family counselling with her mom. Unless you actually know the whole family situation directly, not just from the 16 year old, you don't really know if she is exagerating or telling the unvarnished truth. If her mom really is wanting her out, there might be another relative who could take her in, at least temporarily. I also like schmee's recommendation that your son get a job, move out on his own, and only then, start making marriage plans. Just don't buy into the faity tale that a wedding is a solution to a problem.
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I hear all of you he has a really really good job, and i am really proud of him also he has a place of his own, and he is 19 i know i know, they are in love and i want them both to be happy, and they are he wants the best for her, ans i want the best for both of them. her mom is a drunk, and hits an her, and she just meet her dad is back in her life, and he now all about my son and the his age and he said that he would stand behind them, and i now he loves her as much as she loves him. i just hate the fact that some parents could treat there kids like shit.... Thanks
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