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by Shadow on June 4th, 2009

Shadow

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Help answer this question below.

One of my Friends said people only do nice things to others because they aspect some kind of personal gain from it purely by nature. I have a completely different opinion on this topic and i would like to see the rest of the answer bag's community opinion

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Answers. 14 helpful answers below.

  • by shammers still slogging along on June 4th, 2009

    shammers still slogging along

    Yes, I often do things for others so I can get something in return . . . self respect.

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  • by MrJosh on June 4th, 2009

    MrJosh

    I would have to agree with your friend. Even someone who seems to be acting selflessly is not (Mother Theresa is a common example). Perhaps they do good things out of a sense of duty, or becuase it makes them feel good, or because they were taught that it is the "right" thing to do. Either way, they are either seeking pleasure, or avoiding displeasure. I don't think any action is 100% selfless.

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  • by red246 is having a go on June 4th, 2009

    red246 is having a go

    I too believe that people have an ulterior motive for being nice to other people. But I do accept that there are people who do seemingly self-less acts and their only expectation (or 'reward') is a nice warm glow all over.

    Ahhh, to be that serene.......

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  • by GLAM71 on June 4th, 2009

    GLAM71

    so not true, my mother is nice to everyone and everything, and she has been doing it too long for it to be fake, and she gains nothing from it except, a good feeling in her heart

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  • by P.M.Lars on June 4th, 2009

    P.M.Lars

    Some people have a hidden agenda for why they do nice things. However I'd like to think that the populace of people want to do nice things for one another because they truly care for their friends.

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  • by twist and shout on June 4th, 2009

    twist and shout

    Thats the whole is there such a thing as an altruistic act, one of the biggest debates in psychology!
    I dont think there is to be honest, i have done alot of charity work and i dont think its selfless at all, it makes me feel good to help other people and its also something i use on a CV, you would be very hard pushed to find someone who dosnt get that warm bubbly feeling inside from helping others!
    The only act i can think of is sacrificing your life for someone else!

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  • by Occams Electric Razor on June 4th, 2009

    Occams Electric Razor

    no being is completely and totally altruistic, everything we do serves some personal agenda or has some personal gain attached to it. Many of the good deeds people do, or think they are doing, though may directly or indirectly benefit another person, but are carried out to make the person doing the good deed feel better about themselves.

    One example of millions I could site where this goes haywire is giving money for charities or the poor. Many of these "organizations" like goodwill, christian children's fund and salvation army, prey on people with surplus cash and a guilty conscience.

    What happens is someone sees the commercial of dying kids in africa or homeless people in america, they write a check and send it in and feel good that they contributed something to help someone...turns out most times that only 9 cents of every dollar goes to the people who need it and the rest pays actors, spokespeople's salaries, advertising and other associated costs.

    Even goodwill is not so good as they claim to be. Most stuff taken in by goodwill (who's owner is a multi-millionare) and the best of it is either sold to companies who will alter it and resell it at a high price as "retro" or things like denim will be salvaged and sent to denim factories to be reused. A small amount of the stuff will go to the goodwill stores where it will be sold for profit and then there at the bottom of the pile, the last of the last, the crap no one wants, gets given to charity.

    But no one, does anything without thinking at the very least it is good karma and will come back to them in some way or another. Self preservation runs our lives and we always think of ourselves first in most cases.

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  • by Firebrand on June 4th, 2009

    Firebrand

    To a certain extent I would say with a lot of people that is correct.

    Rather like I have given you points now you give them to me attitude.

    I do not like that. I am nice or do something for people because I wish to do it not because I expect to be rewarded for my magnaminity.

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  • by Galeanda on June 4th, 2009

    Galeanda

    I don't think this is true. That would make everyone selfish. There is a difference between doing things for others, being kind and caring, making others your priority, and doing things to get something in return depending on what your motivation is, where does it spring from. If it springs from that payback, it's selfish or keeping an eye on your own interests first. You've made yourself your priority.

    It's possible to be motivated to care for others because you feel that is what you should do, stemming from a love of yourself that has everything to do with sharing with others no matter what the return. And if you feel genuine happiness at it, then that is just a bonus because it comes from a good heart. That's what good hearts feel like, way different than a selfish heart.

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  • by Blackberry. on June 4th, 2009

    Blackberry.

    Seems plausible to me. I love seeing someone's face light up after I make thier day with a small gesture. It's just how I feel within myself. We humans need to help each other out.

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  • by Scrappy on June 4th, 2009

    Scrappy

    Any friend who expects something back is a friendship I would question. I have only a few AB friends and most of them do nice things for me and care about me without ever expecting anything in return. I do things for my friends and the only gain I get is the good feeling of making someone's day.

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  • by PerfectlyPink on June 4th, 2009

    PerfectlyPink

    I beleive that every thing is for personal gain... not always collected by material items but also by the way you feel when you do something good for another person.

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  • by iwnit on June 4th, 2009

    iwnit

    I think that by most it is just the pleasure of being nice to others. You can consider this as personal gain, of course. But everyone wins.

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  • by BigDaddyBS on June 4th, 2009

    BigDaddyBS

    I guess you could say that's true - TO AN EXTENT.

    People do nice things around here for the comments, to make others happy/smile, and the points (although many, including me profess that points are NOT the main reason, and for many, including me, they aren't).

    You DO get to a point you care about a lot of people here, and as with real-life friends, you want to do all you can to make or keep them happy, and when people do nasty things to them, you REALLY want to defend and protect them. And there are a lot of people here who try to defend and protect newbies, as there are others who seem to wish to drive them away.

    As for the points... Well, no matter how much we say they don't mean anything, they do. We all LOVE getting points, but for many, I say they are "gravy" ... very TASTY gravy ... on the friendships, camaraderie, and fun we make and have here. Some take them VERY seriously, doing EVERYTHING they can to move up in the ranks.

    Sure people do things for "personal gain". Those "warm fuzzies" can be VERY addicting! ;-)

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