Ha...I wish! But ever since 9-11 they will not let us that close until we land the plane. But hell when they land the plane all's anyone wants to do is get the heck off the plane.

Yes. I was sitting in my seat, 12C, reading "Remembrance of Things Past," when suddenly actress Karen Black ran down the aisle shouting, "There's no one left to fly the plane!" Needless to say, that got my attention. I quickly marked my place in the book so I could find it later and resume my reading where I had left off. I put the Proust down and hastily made my way to the cockpit. There, to my horror, lay the bodies of the pilot, copilot, and navigator. All were dead, their faces frozen in unmistakable agony. According to a stewardess, they had all eaten the tuna salad. Just then, Karen Black herself keeled over in the aisle. I ran to her and checked her pulse. Nothing. We learned later that Ms. Black had not consumed the deadly tuna. She just happened to have a heart attack. Karen Black had been our last hope to take command of the cockpit and land the plane. Now, all eyes were on me. Me? Was I equal to this task? Could I handle the job of flying and landing this great silver bird, with minimal loss of life and property? I girded my loins and strode purposefully back to the cockpit, carefully stepping over the body of Karen Black. I pulled a blanket from a neary seat and covered her. I saluted the courageous heroine of movies past, and I tried without success to stifle the tears that were welling in my eyes and threatening to betray my emotion. This, I told myself, was no time to regret the past. It was time to embrace the future, and confront the monumental task that lay before me. Luckily, I had recently watched the movie "Airplane!" and I knew exactly what to do. To be continued....