ANSWERS: 33
  • Everything. You live under their roof, they buy your stuff and they like you to be safe at home at night. Plenty of time when you are older! +5
  • Be glad you were not born in the 70's or later you would be getting a belt as well as told who what when and where.
  • You can have whatever friends you want at school. Otherwise parents are the law you live under. Sure it chafes. So make plans for a future, maybe get good grades, graduate at the top of your class and get a degree that will earn you much respect and money. Teach those parents a damn lesson!
  • I would like to determine whether you, the questioner, are the parent or the twelve-year old. If you are the latter, you are violating the AB site's Terms of Use. One must be at least fourteen years old to enter the site...and you should leave the site immediately. And if that is the case, and you have the opportunity to read this, your parents generally have complete "say" over such social issues such as friends, clothing, etc. Not only do they have the "say"...they have a major responsibility for guiding you on these and other critical matters leading toward your ultimate maturity when you may have a greater understanding, and appreciation, for that responsibility.
  • Parents are totally responsible for their children until the age of 18 - not just providing for their needs but can also be held accountable for their actions. So - they should also have total "say" over everything until then.
  • A 12 year old? Everything.
  • A parent should have the last word over everything, no and, if, or buts, about it. At 12 they may think they are smart and mature, but the reality is that they are a child and parents need to exercise parental control instead of giving the child money and freedom.
  • As a minor who lives with their parents who provide them with food, clothing and a roof over their head...parents have a say in everything!
  • Parents have total control over a 12 year old. You should be included in the process but ultimately it's their ballgame.
  • Everything. Now if they wanna make right decisions let em...but if they wanna make wrong or unwise ones...its all yours to take over.
  • When you are eighteen, you can move out and have any friends and wear any clothing you wish. Until then, you live in a dictatorship, hopefully a benevolent one...
  • Close to total. +5
  • Everything. But, on the other hand ... parents need to start encouraging kids to make good decisions for themselves (with supervision, of course) too. Parents have the final say, but still remembering we don't want our kids to be clinging vines needing us for everything all the time. It's a balancing act!
  • Every say..For instance . grounding rights. withrawal of privilidges. If it has gone too long and authority has not been established like it was with me and my kids. ( their mom made that happen) I don't know what to tell you. At twelve you should have a chance to do some good...I'm rooting for you.
  • Parents do retain the power of veto, but as the child becomes a teenager, they should loosen the reins and give the teen more autonomy to become the person they wish to be and to establish their own identity.
  • No say. Zero say. Yes, the parent should be there to provide guidance, but guidance only. If the daughter/son has made up their mind, it is up to them to succeed or fail on their own, since life will be just like that when they have fully developed physically enough to be called an adult.
  • it is your job as a preant to guide them through life, and help them make decisons early on. When they grow and mature a bit more, they will start to make thier own and it they will be good ones beacuse you, as a parent, guided them
  • Parents have the right to tell a 12-year old what to do. That is the biblically correct thing, but i think parents must try to be reasonble and understanding to peer pressure
  • Mine are 21 and 24 now, but at 12, my word was law. I had final say on friends, clothing, hairstyles and all media, but my expectations were entirely reasonable. I wasn't making them dress like the Amish. They just had to be presentable and reasonably modest. I did concede and allow my daughter to call boys when she was 15, but in retrospect, I wish I hadn't caved on that one either. Best Wishes!
  • Yes you can put down rules. But they should have free speech within reason and ownership of their body and safety.
  • i Would say "c" none of the above! i mean, a twelve year old wants what he/she wants and if you dont provide it, they will go get it themselves!For instance, you cant change your son/daughters friends, and their clothes, most preteen girls want to go to the mall by themselfs so they buy what they want then.
  • im 14 and im tired of my parent telling me what to wear or who to hang out with or date if annoying i no haw u feelll 12 year old and u have to be 14 to be on this website
  • Everything.
  • if you are under their roof and under 18 years old ... they have 100% say in what you can do ... at 12 years old you are legally under their control, if you don't like it then see how you would go in a Juvenile Home ... then I bet you would be begging your parents to take you back
  • A 12 year old is still a minor. You can tell them who they aren't hanging out with in your home if you have a valid reason I'm sure they would understand. But I think as teenagers to be... they want an explination to everything. So if you were to say "Honey... I don't like those shorts go change." You know the next thing that comes out of thier mouth is "Why?" So it might help if you give them reason's why before they can ask that's one less fight to worry about. "Honey... those shorts are a little to short to wear in public. I'd like you to change." I think if my grandma had explained it to me that way it would have been easier for me to understand then the way she approached it. Telling a teenager that you don't want them to wear cloths like that because others get raped... is not the kind of approach you want to take lol! As kids they will say "Your ruining my life" or "I hate you" or "That's not fair". As we get older we understand more and more why our parents did things the way they did. I'm 22 and I can see clearly why my parents taught me the lesson's they taught.
  • A 12 year-old? Practically everything, for at that age, most children are not mature enough to make good choices in life. With things like friends and clothing, they should be able to have some say, but even there as a responsible parent you don't want them hanging around with a crowd that takes drugs or wears unacceptable clothing. The problem with society today is that a lot of parents allow their children "too much say", and shirk away from their parental duties, one of the most important being overseeing what their kids do and how they act.
  • They have every "say" over you until you are 18 in most states. As you get older and you mature showing responsibility they will allow you more and more 'say' in your life. However as long as you are living under your parents roof you must abide by their rules. Even I when visiting my parents when I was in my 50s, I abided by their 'rules'. I respected them.
  • Kids think they want liberal parents but I know a 10 year old that walks all over his father and he's so mean and behaves so crazy no one likes him but his grandma.
  • Everything
  • Sheeet! Legally and morally, everything whatsoever! ;-)
  • Hopefully, just enough to protect them and their well being.
  • Should be pretty absolute. You may disagree but they have your best interests at heart, and however retarded they may seem to your advanced pre-teen intellect, they've had well over twice the experience that you have and really do have a better grasp than you do.
  • Everything, Total Control. Discipline.

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