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by timmy77 on May 9th, 2009

timmy77

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My ex suddenly left me alone for no apparent reason after our relationship seemed so perfect, everytime i see him i start shivering and cry and i cant stop it.. sometimes i even throw up.. what are these horrible emotions and how can i make them go away?

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Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by Redhawk on May 11th, 2009

    Redhawk

    Trust me, there IS a reason.

    It may or may not have ANYTHING to do with you per se.

    It may be that he is a user; or that he did mention things to you that you refused deliver on, and when he felt there was not going to be any change to get him what he wanted, he left.

    Or, he may never have planned on it being a long-term relationship in the first place.

    Most of us humans are fully capable of reading what we most believe we want into circumstances with little or no help from those we surround ourselves with.

    At this point, however, you need to take care of YOU! It doesn't matter so much whose "fault" is was, more than likely it was mutual fault, unless he is just really super self-centered and you somehow missed that facet of his personality!

    You don't mention exactly how long ago this happened, so we only have the date you posted to go by. I hope by now you are feeling better and stronger.

    Either way, I suggest that you buck up a little bit and accept that you may never know the answers to your questions, (you can ask him, ya know, the worst he can do is say, "I don't want to talk about it, go away!")

    Start healing by offering to help someone or some cause that you BELIEVE IN. Sometimes Volunteering is one of the best ways to look outside of our own pain.

    It doesn't mean you won't still feel sorrow at having lost something that seemed to be so right for you, but it will get you out of the house, and put you in a position to meet other people who believe as you do about helping and making a positive difference in some productive manner.

    I think you need a shot of SELF ESTEEM to boost your image! You might consider helping out with old folks, animals, the environment, kids who need a good mentor. It doesn't matter what area you choose...that you can care about what you are offering to help with, and that there is a real need for your help is what matters the most!

    The emotions you feel are disappointment, frustration, pain and loss and maybe even some anger.

    But you do get to CHOOSE, how long you want to sit by and be wallowing in despair...or get up, get out and go do something that can provide you with OTHER, more positive emotions.

    If you are not happy, comfortable with what you are feeling...and you can not change what has caused you to feel what you are feeling...find something good to do that will cause NEW feelings to arise.

    I'm sorry you feel this pain. But it maybe time to practice letting it go, it doesn't sound like it is serving your greater need or self...very well!

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  • by Occams Electric Razor on May 9th, 2009

    Occams Electric Razor

    part of it is probably just being left, rejection is tough and can sometimes take years to get over..not really knowing why he left is probably the biggest part of it..it's hard to get over something when there was no real closure to it, not knowing why he left only tells you that either your whole relationship was a lie or he was not very clear in his expression of emotion or thought..either way it seems like a deception on his part, to think all was ok and then him just go.
    Pretty common and reasonable triggers for being upset..the results, crying, shivering, puking..well that's probably just part of you being upset...different people deal with it different ways..some get mad, some cry, some puke, some drink, some do self-destructive things..we all have our releases to deal with stress and hurt...it's normal I'm sure and will pass with time.

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  • by Suny on May 9th, 2009

    Suny

    love hurts..

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  • by Sexyrabbit on May 9th, 2009

    Sexyrabbit

    Stop seeing him..:)

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