PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY but does it ever annoy anyone else when men who are obviously gay refuse 2 come out. like men who are extremely feminine and just scream homosexuality, won't come out even tho everyone already assumes and wouldn't care
by 
shwingman07
ANSWERS: 8
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Well, it probably annoys their male partners. lol But seriously, I have met some VERY effeminate men who swear up and down that they are straight. Also, most of my gay friends are very masculine. So I have learned not to go 100% from outward appearances and mannerisms. That still doesn't turn of the "gaydar" of course. :o) You cannot force another person to be comfortable with their orientation and "come out." They have to handle it in their own time. Look at Clay Aiken.
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no not in the least ... its totally their choice if they decide to " come out " or not .. as it should be !
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Some people have to come out (or not) at their own pace and at the right time. And...not everyone who fits the "extremely feminine" stereotype is always gay, either. I've met very feminine men who aren't gay. Most gay men are NOT the least bit feminine nor do they "scream homosexuality." Sure, even if they are gay and no one would care if they came out or not...if they aren't ready or willing to come out, why do they have to?
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actually, some effeminate males are not gay at all. They just like acting that way; probably suit their personality more. It's the same as how some cross-dressers aren't gay.
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I have been friends with male/female homosexuals that were effeminate/non-effeminate. To each their own, everyone needs to address their own personal business their own way. Everyone has their own comfort level on how they address their personal business, who am I to push someone to do something they're uncomfortable with. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.
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Ehm.. I know some very feminine guys who are definitely NOT gay. And even though they have no problems whatsoever with someone being gay, they get quite annoyed by people assuming that they don't have the courage to come out. And, even if someone was gay and is not coming out, then don't you think it's completely up to them to decide when they will come out?
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I can only take this one way. WHY would it annoy you if YOU think someone was gay and they "refused" to come out??!! !) They might not be gay no matter how much YOU insist that they are 2)What business is it of yours in the first place? 3) How could what they do with their life annoy you. They are not living their life at your pleasure no matter what you believe. This question has annoyed me no end. Why do you refuse to let people live their own lives. Why does everyone have to fit into your expectations?
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You're falling into the common trap that "femininity" is a sign of homosexuality. It's just another useless stereotype with no basis in the real world. By far most gay men are no more "feminine" than their straight peers, and most "feminine" guys are, in fact, straight, as the person you are speaking of probably is. The same goes with cross-dressing. By far most cross-dressers are straight, and, except for professional stage drag artists, gay men are no more likely to be cross-dressers than straight men. You have to get it into your head that sexual orientation (gay/bi/straight) and gender identity are two completely separate phenomena, and that popular stereotypes of the type you have fallen victim to are just plain ridiculous. In short, there is nothing inherently feminine about gay men, and nothing inherently gay about "feminine" men.
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