- NEW!
by BeccaBaby on April 28th, 2009
Lawyers is probably #1. Prostitutes too lol. Politicians is another one....
by Ec-nal Licensed Bootie Inspector on April 28th, 2009
The top spot must be lawyers yo...
Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?
A: Skeet.
Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off of you when you die.
Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.
Q:You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a lawyer.
You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A:Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
by Grandma Roses - my avatar is my real dog on April 28th, 2009
Lawyers.
by Zack on April 28th, 2009
Working at a fast food restaurant.
by Scifisuz on April 28th, 2009
Used car salesmen
proctologists
by vincentcent on April 28th, 2009
Small town Sheriff or Chief of Police
by .Azura. on June 14th, 2009
Gynos and dentists
by uncacal on June 4th, 2009
Engineers used to be popular targets. I haven't heard a new one in years.
Heres one I stole from Prairie Home Companion:
So---three engineers are arguing about which is better, mechanical engineering, or electrical, or civil---and the mechanical engineer says, "God must've been a mechanical engineer because---look at the joints in the human body." And the second says, "No, God must've been an electrical engineer: look at the nervous system." And the third said: "God had to be a civil engineer, cause who else would've run a waste disposal pipeline right through a great recreational area?"
by Carl_07 on June 4th, 2009
The bag boy at the grocery store, paper or plastic!!
by -NUNYA-- on June 4th, 2009
Rednecks +5
by bazza on May 4th, 2009
Undertakers. Years ago it was the nightcart man.
by overeasy240 on April 29th, 2009
A mortician.
by Rahbar on April 28th, 2009
In India Sardars Jokes are very popular!
by ImNotAnonymous-COAT of Maestro-ness on April 28th, 2009
Airline pilots.
What's the difference between a condom and a cockpit?
You can only put one dick in a condom.
by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on April 28th, 2009
flight attendants...especially blonde ones
by ShoulderPadQueen on April 28th, 2009
city workers. one guy working and 10 other guys standing around watching. LOL!
by Sixty B - Commander Topcoat on April 28th, 2009
Bartender.
A guy walks into a bar..
by Kewl Guy - has gone 360 on April 28th, 2009
can you believe that guy said morticians!!
by Starmaster on April 28th, 2009
Used Car Dealers
by Ice man on April 28th, 2009
Sanitation Engineers. LOL :)
by Rollie on April 28th, 2009
Was garbage haulers at one time. But we found out they make decent money. So no more jokes.
Road maintenance employees, takes one to do the work, one to lean on the shovel and one to supervise.
by Elllie on June 4th, 2009
Lawyers. I am sure you have it already, but that's the first one that comes to mind.
by MAGICK on June 14th, 2009
DOG FOOD TASTER, PHART SNIFFER (SCIENCE REALLY!)
by Macca187 on January 6th, 2010
I'm surprised noone mentioned accountants
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Comments
I agree about all three ... those professions must make it too easy to find "humor"!! Thanks Becca! +6
by Over and Out on April 28th, 2009