I was currently told that my unborn child may have Down Syndrome and I'm awaiting a targeted sonogram to confirm this, I'm struggling with the end results and will I be able to handle a DS child? I am 20 weeks pregnant and scared to death.

I am sorry to hear that you have had some bad news with your pregnancy. Also Down syndrome cannot be diagnosed on ultrasound findings alone, these findings simple suggest that there is a higher risk that the baby may have Down syndrome and based on this the doctor should recommend other tests to actually confirm the diagnosis and it is then up to you to make an informed choice as to whether you want to go ahead and have these further tests, that is how it is done here in the UK we never confirm Down syndrome by doing ultrasound only. I am sure that so much must be going through your mind at the moment and you must be very scared for your baby I am a midwife and I have patients such as yourself and I see the turmoil that they go through. What I would suggest is that you try and get as much support as you can from your partner, family or friends but I can also understand totally if you don't want to talk about it at the moment, also you should be getting some support from your healthcare provider, there should be someone who will support you through this at my place of work we have designated midwives who support the women through it from start to finish so I am not sure how it works if you are not in the UK, but you should be getting some support from your healthcare provider as I think it would be very wrong of them to tell you that your baby may have Down syndrome and then just leave you to get on with it, I really hope that this is not the case with you. I hope that all will work out for you and your baby, take care and best of wishes :)

i used to date a gal who did ultrasound for high risk pregnanbut,cies.....and, i also have a first cousin who has Down's Syndrome......so, i will share with you what i know.......a blood test and an ultrasound will give marker's as to whether or not the fetus will have Down's Syndrome.......i swear.......but, as kind of a last resort, the doc will do an amnio.....which is kind of unpleasant, but involves a needle being shoved into the amniotic fluid to be drawn so that they can test that......you did not tell me your age......women over 40 years of age who are pregnant have a high risk of having a child with DS........let me know how all of this turns out.....my prayer's are with you and the baby.........Brian........

..wait until the test results and then worry if you have to..if it's because your too old don't worry because i know about three mothers that have had children in their 40's and doctors have said they would have ds children..but they came out like regular babies and are the cutest ones..if anything happens..i can tell you that a down syndrome baby is very hard to take care of..you need to have a heart of gold and some serious patience and care..
all in all don't stress..there are people who can't have children at all..some people are lucky enough to have babies..
just wait and see what happens then think of what your going to do because everything might just be ok

Yes- I also had the same findings at my ultrasound yesterday. I was suppose to go for a scheduled ultasound to find out the gender of my baby-which turned out to be a wonderful little boy- but they told me something did not look right about his heart. I opted out early on for the test that checked for Down Syndrome thinking I could never personally take a life. I have had a very hard time trying to deal with this for the past day. They did take my blood and stated we had to wait until I got the results back before we made any conclusions. I feel like I am still in the dark with not knowing. Maybe someone could help me also understand what actually they could have saw on the heart to make them feel as if he had down syndrome? What other abnormalities can be associated with down syndrome and seen on an ultrasound?

Honestly, my response will give you hope and despair...

My mom was told, when she was carrying me, that I would be born severely handicapped physically and maybe even have a poor quality of life due to mental retardation as well. Well, stubborn as she always was, she replied to her obstetrician, "Well, I'd like to see him for myself." Never the pro-life type, she stuck it out nevertheless and, after close to ten months (yes, she was overdue), she gave birth to a 9.5 lbs baby boy (yours truly) who was obviously too heavy to bounce. She picked me up and looked at me (this was back when they didn't automatically scoop the baby away for tests etc), counted my toes, fingers, looked at my eyes and skin and said to herself, "He's perfect." I am not only mentally retarded (well...some of you will disagree with that), but walked early, spoke early and did everything precociously (except sex). I've graduated with high honours in all of my degrees, have finished at the top of my class more than once and was in the .01% of all US college students throughout my college career. I'm not deformed and am even considered attractive by some. I like swimming, walking and even dancing and I love animals.)

My point? Even the best doctors can't always be right about what gift you will deliver at the end of a pregnancy. It's a journey women must travel to find out the outcome for themselves. Any bundle you get, you can make the best of him/her and celebrate all the finest things that s/he brings to the world - from smiles and hugs to messy meals and tickled shrieks.

Why did I say my response could also be disturbing to you? Because, having seen what some couples and mothers have gone through severely disabled or challenged children (severe DS and other conditions), I honestly and hypocritically admit that I don't know if I would be willing to be as brave as my mother was 33 years ago.
One of my best friends had a DS brother who was adorable all the way up to when I last saw him in his twenties. He could converse with you and interacted. Others have DS family members who are so mildly affected that they have relationships and work! Then there are the other scenarios of aggresive behaviour, throwing things against the wall (I knew of one who threw faeces and was a nightmare to control). =(

The choice is yours, but choose well: only you will really have to live with the consequences of your decision so do not let the pressures and comments of others sway you one way or another. You MUST do what is best for you, the baby and your family life. It's always easy for people to say, "Have it. It's a baby like any other", but they won't be there to handle the temper tantrums, stares from the intolerant public, quarrels with other family members when you feel emotionally drained, hours and hours of speech therapy (and the cost that goes with it) and the host of other struggles that characterise raising a child with these challenges.

On the other hand, they who will easily blurt "abort" won't be there to share your guilt and regret, your constant wondering about "what if he'd turned out okay..." I suppose you could also have it and give it up for adoption, but will you have the emotional fortitude to part with him or her when you meet?

I wish you and baby the very best of luck.

hi hun, im am 33 yrs old and have two disabled children and one with no problems,mine havent got downs syndrome but my son is 24 hr care and my daughter has prada-willi syndrome,making her very difficult with problems to go with it,im also currently 20 weeks with my fourth, i was asked if i wanted the blood tests to see if my unborn had downs but i said no,as i wouldnt act on the results anyway,basically i suppose what i am trying to say is,if i can cope with all this you or others certainly could,at the end of the day your baby is your baby no matter what, you find it in you to cope with what ever, there is alot of downs children at my daughters school and they are truelly lovely children with a huge heart,no body wants a child with a problem and it is very dis hearting to find a problem,but you will be fine, take care xx