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by Suonarelamusica on April 21st, 2009

Suonarelamusica

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What would you do if you love latin culture and want someone to talk to you in Spanish, but they person you're dating refuses to learn Spanish even though it means a lot to you? I feel like if he loved you, he would learn Spanish.

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Answers. 22 helpful answers below.

  • by Countess Crapula on April 21st, 2009

    Countess Crapula

    OK, I'm all for him learning Spanish too, but guess what? That "If he loved you he's...." is a crock of shit. It's the same with the following..."if you loved me, you wouldn't break up with me." Not true.

    So stop tying to blackmail with the "If he loved me" stuff and learn Spanish on your own. You can't force someone to be interested in what you are interested in. I love to rollerskate...does that mean my boyfriend doesn't love me because he doesn't want to rollerskate with me? Come on....

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  • by Heather on April 21st, 2009

    Heather

    this sounds like a childish squabble to me, if your obsessed enough with spanish to allow it to ruin an otherwise healthy(assuming its healthy) then you should just end the relaionship and date someone who already speaks spanish

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  • by Still breathing on April 21st, 2009

    Still breathing

    No, I don't think that is right.
    It is your desire to speak spanish, so go out and learn it make a few friends that way. The one that loves you won't get in the way of your dreams and hobbies, but they are not required to do things you are interested in if they aren't either.
    That would be like me having to play Warhammer 40k once a week and learn the games and the rules. That would drive me mad since it isnt my type of game.
    But I love my husband enough not to stop him from enjoying that interest in his life.
    There are plenty of things out there that we can do together that we both want to do.

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  • by youngeniusjake on April 21st, 2009

    youngeniusjake

    I would be happy he's still with you, that's a ridiculous thing to pend your love on. I'm sure if you loved him that much, you wouldn't pressure him into learning an entirely different language, just because it would satisfy your love for the Latin culture.

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  • by HasntBeen on April 21st, 2009

    HasntBeen

    This is an unrealistic expectation, as are most things that come after "if you really loved me..."

    Stop being a pest. If he doesn't want to learn the language, that's his choice. It's a huge task to learn a foreign language. Go to the local university, find students who are trying to learn English, and do "intercambio" (language practice exchange) with them.

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  • by Ditto on April 21st, 2009

    Ditto

    You're absolutely wrong. You're trying to make them live your life. You are individauls with individual expectations in life. Go find a spanish speaking friend.

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  • by Suomynona on April 21st, 2009

    Suomynona

    I would promptly see a psychiatrist.

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  • by Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo on April 21st, 2009

    Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo

    If you want to speak and hear Spanish, learn it yourself.

    There are also bound to be Spanish language activities and/or groups in your area - think theater, concerts, etc. Instead of having unrealistic expectations of your partner, why not attend some of these?

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  • by Jadey - Vive la difference on April 21st, 2009

    Jadey - Vive la difference

    Personally, while it may be a really lovely kind gesture for him to learn it too, I think that is what it is - a kind gesture. I don't think that him not learning Spanish shows a lack of love at all.

    Learning a language is such a big thing to do, and takes up so much time, effort and commitment. Not to mention, it is very difficult if you really aren't too bothered about it.

    I would go to Spanish organisations and talk to some people there, or try and get a friend interested in learning it too - it might be fun to teach him/her. As long as he is supportive of you and your interests; that is all you can and should expect.

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  • by Answersack on April 21st, 2009

    Answersack

    That's a very childish mentality..

    It's his decision whether he wants to learn a language or not. Perhaps he'd rather use his brain cells on something much more useful to him..

    plus.. even if he learns how to speak adequate Spanish, you won't be able to be fully immersed in the culture unless you speak to a native of that language.

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  • by stay glazed on the haze on April 21st, 2009

    stay glazed on the haze

    If you loved him enough, you'd let him do what he prefers.

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  • by Taipantheoutlaw on April 21st, 2009

    Taipantheoutlaw

    sound a bit childish. What if I wanted my gf to walk on the moon but she didn't? I mean learning a language is not like bringing flowers or going to seaworld. It takes years! If I was him I'd say yes but only if you learned chinese. would you? (takes for an avrage person about 10 years at least)If you want a spanish talking bf so badly then break up with him, and move to Spain.

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  • by Meow on April 21st, 2009

    Meow

    This is such a huge problem with relationships. You knew this about him when you first met him and now that you want something different, you expect him to change and BECOME that something different. YOU are the one who is changing, remember, not him. Did you not love him when you first met him as he speaks now? It's really sad that your changing (which doesn't have to be a bad thing) is being transferred to him and translated as he doesn't love you because he refuses to BECOME what you want in a man now. Shame on you for trying to make this HIS fault!!! SHAME ON YOU!!! This is a problem that you have created not him. He still loves you...you just don't love him anymore.
    Find someone else, but have the decency to at least tell him why he's not good enough for you anymore and be sure to explain that YOU are changing.

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  • by Im BACK on April 21st, 2009

    Im BACK

    He doesn't have to learn Spanish if he doesn't want to. Doesn't his actions show how much he loves you? Actions speaks louder than words.

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  • by Suonarelamusica on April 21st, 2009

    Suonarelamusica

    I SPEAK Spanish.

    Ya sé hablar castellano.

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  • by sexykins20 on April 21st, 2009

    sexykins20

    i would i learn any language if i meet the right guy to make him happy and talk to his family

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  • by Suonarelamusica on April 21st, 2009

    Suonarelamusica

    This is someone who is way in the past.

    You people who haven't studied abroad may not understand this.

    I teach Spanish now, but I studied abroad in Mexico my senior year of college and I really fell in love with the culture. When I returned to the United States, the readjustment was a shock to my system. I was unhappy, found American culture cold and unfriendly, and became very depressed. I had days where I would think "I'm just going to explode if someone doesn't talk to me in Spanish."

    He would want to talk to me on the phone in English for hours and I worried that my Spanish would get rusty if I didn't use it. I resented him taking up time that I could have spent reading books in Spanish. I still speak perfect Spanish, I have no bf but my Spanish is perfect.

    I worked SO HARD to learn to speak perfect Spanish. I made sacrifices to learn Spanish. And I was missing Mexican culture so much and it would have meant the world to have someone talk to me in Spanish. I'm not saying become a college professor of Spanish, I mean a few words. The bottom line is my feelings weren't importnat.

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  • by Suonarelamusica on April 21st, 2009

    Suonarelamusica

    Grow up? There are some really judgmental people on this site.

    I'm not immature, I'm a teacher, I worked my way through school and sacrificed to do it. I don't give a crap about your little judgmental answers. If you can't help, I really don't care what you think.

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  • by Suonarelamusica on April 26th, 2009

    Suonarelamusica

    I think I'm just angry because I would like to have a latin boyfriend, and sometimes I take out my anger on him. I don't love him, the relationship just sort of happpened. We don't even see each other now.

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  • by Krystal on April 22nd, 2009

    Krystal

    If you love and trust him,why are you testing him?? He may well say 'Adios'

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  • by alfugazi on April 21st, 2009

    alfugazi

    if they are unwilling to learn your lanugage you have to either accept the fact or stop dating them. At one point or another I used to date several latin women and what better way to learn how to speak the language? I mean they were willing to teach me and I of course was a willing participant. Plus I learned something about their culture and that was kind of cool to speak to them and their family in their language.

    As for the expectation, you gotta loosen the reigns a little on that. He doesnt want to learn it. What are your options? I'd gladly learn it if it meant the world to you.

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  • by LindsayJ. on April 21st, 2009

    LindsayJ.

    who caresif he doesnt. if u think language represent love then go find someone else. and then he can find smoeone who doesnt nit pick

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