In my ongoing attempts to chose to be gay, I spent the entire weekend around my lesbian friend. I kept trying to breathe the same air, or otherwise catch the "gay vibes". Nothing happened, and I'm still not attracted to women. What am I doing wrong?

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• it is the truth.ask anyone why they are straight and i bet you will never get a straight answer.
  the majority of people think that gay and lesbians are a new thing.when in fact,it's as old as the human race itself.

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  by Spunts.answered 67 questions in 1 hour. on February 13th, 2007

• My point exactly!

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

• how did you managed in india?

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  by Spunts.answered 67 questions in 1 hour. on April 5th, 2007

• Had a superb time!

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

• did you regret asking this question?

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  by Spunts.answered 67 questions in 1 hour. on October 25th, 2007

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• No, of course not. The last time I attempted sex with a women, it didn't go so well. The whole thing just turned me off. BTW, nice pimping on the avatar.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

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• Oh, now, people out here tell me all the time that being gay is a choice. But WHY OH WHY won't they tell me exactly how to do it?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• ah... the irony finally comes through - you are good. lol.

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  by Ausbabe on February 13th, 2007

• LMAO! The "inner lesbian"? Sounds like Candy found her "inner comedienne". I was wondering when that would happen :-)

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• If you check my history, you will see it is a habit of mine. :D

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• I've been getting in touch with my inner bitch lately. Maybe I can do the same with my inner lesbian.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• - it's true SB, I'm thinking of going into stand up next.

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  by Carmella on February 13th, 2007

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• That's true about the guys knowing how to dance. I usually don't have to worry about them thinking that a fun dance means I'm going to have sex with them, either.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• I was always introduced as "This is David. He's straight." It saved a lot of time.

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  by Someguy on February 13th, 2007

• I'm a chick, so they don't need any warning. :)

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• I like gay bars too, particularly male orientated ones. I go there when I don't want sleazy men all over me.

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  by Carmella on February 13th, 2007

• Yeah, you can dance with the guys all night and not deal with groping jerks.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

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• I'll try that. Do you think I should wear my pentacle?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• couldn't hurt :)

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  by BobSaccamano-is-back on February 13th, 2007

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• I have a tattoo, a navel piercing, some leather pants, and love Melissa Etheridge. I have never heard of Kylie Minogie.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• You're joking?! Everybody's heard of Kylie Minogue, no?!

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  by Carmella on February 13th, 2007

• Kylie Minogue - one of the biggest gay icons - and a singer. She's an Aussie turned Pom ;)

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  by Ausbabe on February 13th, 2007

• Did I miss something? Kylie Minogue the pop singer? How is she a gay icon?

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  by Gideon on February 14th, 2007

• She's always been a gay icon, it's just something that's always been :)

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  by Carmella on February 14th, 2007

• Hmm...guess I should go figure out who she is, huh?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 14th, 2007

• I think shes from austraila, she sings that song I can't get you out of my head, trust me when you hear the song you won't get it out of your head either, lol. I like it though but I didn't know she was gay

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  by lizizhere on March 17th, 2007

• Kylie isn't gay. She is a gay icon though.

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  by Carmella on March 17th, 2007

• I thought Cher was the gay icon queen

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  by lizizhere on March 17th, 2007

• They share the title I'd imagine.

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  by Ausbabe on March 18th, 2007

• lol Cute answer Ausbabe.

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  by Penny The Wise on April 19th, 2007

• AR, I think Kylie minogue might be your missing link to Gay-ness! :D Cheers for the great question, hon.

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  by Penny The Wise on April 19th, 2007

• Kylie isn't gay but her music is trash-pop club stuff so yeah, she started off as a bit part actor in a tv show (Neighbours) and then became qite a celebrity as the female mechanic. She was in it for only a few years but she still gets mentioned. Around the time she left neighbours she started getting her singing career up and running - she's known as the 'singing budgie' (I think) because of the fact that she's about the same size as tinkerbell. So she's had a fairly camp career but due to her realising how it could help her, she embraced it and celebrates her status as a gay icon.Additionally, she gets the best looking dancers and they parade up and down stage with very little clothing on - another reason why she's such an icon. She recently had a nasty cancer scare and had to cancel a series of concerts to go into Chemo - which she came out of and then after resting up, she resumed her concerts and is still as celebrated as ever. She's like the Australian version of Madonna.

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  by Ausbabe on April 19th, 2007

• Wow. I had no idea. In America she's pretty much known for her hit The Loco-motion and not much else. Now I know.

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  by Gideon on April 20th, 2007

• Nice. I never really knew all of that. Thanks for the info Ausbabe!

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  by Penny The Wise on April 20th, 2007

Comments

• Well, people assert all over the place that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice. I'm wanting to test that hypothesis. Unfortunately, the same people who say it is a choice are silent when it comes to telling me HOW. Could it be that they don't know? ;)

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

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• I'd say whoever downrated you did so because they have the solution for how our AB friend can become a lesiban. If they do, speak now...

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  by Ausbabe on February 13th, 2007

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• No, actually, I'm trying to figure out how people choose to be gay. A lot of people out here say - almost daily - that being gay is a choice. I'm wanting these people to explain to me how to do it. Every hypothesis deserves a proper test, right?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• Oh absolutely. Sorry - was thinking you were asking a serious question... Yeah, there's some real bigots in this world who think that there is no such thing as born gay or rights for women, or that mental illness is just people faking for attention or sympathy... or (this is the one I love) people choose to be poor cause they won't get a job... sigh..

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  by Ausbabe on February 13th, 2007

• I have to say something. I didn't really want in on this converation as I am not as well spoken as those of you discussing this. My sister is gay and says she chose to be. For years I watched her go from one man to the next. She claimed her purpose for choosing the lesbian lifestyle was her ability to maintain longterm relationships with women. For 5 years this was true, now she is bouncing from woman to woman, just as she had with men. I am still fuzzy on exactly how she chose this lifestyle. Perhaps I will give her a call tomorrow and see if she can tell me exactly how she did it. :) I suspect she is actually bisexual, but she would disagree.

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  by - retroglide - on February 13th, 2007

• But I think one would have to agree that she was attracted to women, no? Would a woman who's not attracted to women choose to go that way? I think there would be some rare cases, but it's hard to see that accounting for the huge gay population. If she's bisexual, then it does make sense that she could "choose" which side of the fence to paint.

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• She would disagree. She claims she was always gay. For someone who was always gay, I have seen her extremely overt with men when there was no reason to do so. She also could be insecure.

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  by - retroglide - on February 13th, 2007

• Alot of people who come out spend years prior to coming out with the opposite sex. They have relationships, they even have children. She may have been overt with men because it required extra effort for her to be with men. Also it could be because she felt that she wasn't the only person who knew she was living a lie and therefore had something she needed to prove - even if it was wrong. She probably told you and your family what she thought you wanted to hear due to fear of not being accepted by those she loved most. Your sister is the only person who truly knows what she really is. If she wants to be gay, that's up to her. And I hope that you are able to come to terms with it and accept her for the qualities she has as a person rather than her sexual preference.

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  by Ausbabe on February 13th, 2007

• This makes total sense in relation to the Kinsey scale.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• I believe you have misinterpreted my feelings about and towards my sister. While I don't understand her behavior vs her actions, it has NOTHING to do with my acceptance and love for her. As an adopted child, I have only known my sister for 15 years and am blessed to have her in my life. I don't care if she is white, black, straight, gay, bi, or transvestite. It doesn't change my appreciation for her, or alter my love. In family situations I am the first to promote acceptance when others talk about her and her partners in their absence. I merely was throwing in thoughts and experiences to the commentary. :)

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  by - retroglide - on February 13th, 2007

• Well I'm certainly not questioning your acceptance of her. The point that keeps coming up for debate over and over again around this topic (at least on AB) is whether gays are "choosing" their orientation, as in they're making a conscious choice to be attracted to the same sex. That's different than choosing to ACT on their attraction, of course. Somebody can be gay and not act on it, but could she "choose" to like women better than men? That seems like a long shot. It's an important part of the debate because the anti-gay moralizing often goes for the stance "well, they're making a choice to be gay and therefore that choice has moral consequences". To me that's like saying I made a conscious choice to prefer chocolate over vanilla... if I did, I sure don't recall the moment, and I definitely can't "unchoose" that preference at this stage. Give me chocolate or give me death!! :-)

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• Well what I was saying is, she first said she chose to be gay, then she said she was always gay. Of course this story comes out over the years. Her story is always evolving and obviously she is confused, which confuses me. LOL Anyway, I find it impossible to "choose". I like men, and there isn't any possibility this preference could change, thus the debate. I am going to gracefully bow out of a commentary I really didn't want to be involved in. My impulsive interruption didn't lend any insight to the debate. :)

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  by - retroglide - on February 13th, 2007

• Oh I think your comments fit in perfectly... it gives us a chance to drill into the details of the different viewpoints, that's what it's all about! :-)

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

Comments

• Ok, I'll bite: what could this mean?

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• I see a lot of lesbians driving Subaru Foresters. :-)

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  by Simply msFortunate on February 13th, 2007

• I don't know. What kind of car should I be driving? I have an SUV.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• You need an LGBT SUV, and drive it in the HOV lanes ASAP. That should make everything AOK.

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• I think it means is she trying to be something she truly is not? That's the way I take it anyhow.

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  by Anonymous on February 13th, 2007

• Should I put a rainbow sticker on it? Will that help? I have a Hyundai...is that a LGBT SUV?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• No, a Hyundai is definitely not it. What you're looking for would be a rather butch /utilitarian vehicle which no guy would buy. It's a niche market. The Forrester is one of the few LGBT-equipped vehicles: sort of a hybrid of hybrids, if that makes any sense. If not, just move on to a comment that does.

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• Uh...I was wanting to trade my Santa Fe in for a Mini Cooper. Does that count?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• Yes - SB, you have it right. She needs an upside-down rainbow triangle sticker on the bumper of a silver Subaru Forester. Not one of the new ones, but a 2003 or a 2004. Good link for you here... http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/Gay-Lesbian/gay-chick1.html

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  by Simply msFortunate on February 13th, 2007

• Well I agree with most of that list, but the Car Talk guys missed the boat on the ordering. The Geo Tracker just SCREAMS "no guy would buy me", it should be inserted at #1 and all the others can then just drop down a notch. There, perfect!

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• I know lots of guys who drive/drove Trackers! And can my Mini count?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• Oddly...YES! :-) Upon thinking about it, yeah, the Mini would be good....

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  by Simply msFortunate on February 13th, 2007

• Great! I want a cute little Mini convertible to celebrate my newly single status. :)

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• Definitely do that. The car to celebrate being single is the icing on the cake. I did it too - but I went the way of the Subaru Legacy. Hee..:-)

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  by Simply msFortunate on February 13th, 2007

• When did you become single? I thought you were married?

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• The only way that I'm married is in law, and that's one of the very least of the attachments. That will be over soon, too.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• I was talking about msFortunate, who suggested she had celebrated being single with a car. I KNOW your situation, dear.

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• I am also still married by law, but I moved out and separated from my husband about 2 weeks ago...it is an epidemic in my peer group unfortunately.

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  by Simply msFortunate on February 13th, 2007

• Ohhh... ok. Should we be congratulatory or commiserating (or both?)

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• The smile on my face tells me congratulatory...but I'm not always smiling. :-) A little from column A, a little from column B...very bittersweet.

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  by Simply msFortunate on February 13th, 2007

• I understand. I did that once (divorce), and of course any breakup is hard even if you're the initiator. Here's to better days ahead and love that fits properly...

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  by Stableboy on February 13th, 2007

• Oh, I see. I've been without my blistering boil on the buttocks of humanity for over 15 months now.

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  by AntigoneRising on February 13th, 2007

• Here here! Thanks for the well-wishing. :-)

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  by Simply msFortunate on February 13th, 2007

Comments

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• Buahahahaha.

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  by Penny The Wise on April 19th, 2007

• That is the most awesome thing I have ever seen.

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  by KiloWattKid on August 29th, 2007

• ty kilowatt kid.

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  by lizizhere on August 29th, 2007

• you can left click on the pic & add it to your pics & use it as a avatar on your profiles if you want. I grabbed it from a website, I thought he was a cutie pie who looked so determined to get his reward,lol.

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  by lizizhere on August 29th, 2007

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• Excellent answer! My point exactly.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

• Awesome, Icebox April.

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  by Penny The Wise on April 19th, 2007

• Thank you!

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  by Icebox April on April 19th, 2007

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• I'm trying to get some accurate information about WICCA in the Wicca section, rather than what is there now (majority of clarifications of misconceptions from a Christian viewpoint). The other questions are to make people THINK. If it sounds silly to you when you substitute another religion, gender, race, sexual orientation in the question, why do people think their original question sounded less silly?

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  by AntigoneRising on February 15th, 2007

• I didn't say the questions were silly at all, nor because of any of the reasons you list. I said they were weird, since we know you know the answers, particularly to the Wicca queries. But if it's a strategy to get accurate info into the database, I understand, even if I don't think it's the best way to go about it. Your choice, though!

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  by Ankhorite on February 16th, 2007

• I understand what you meant. I don't take offense. The word "silly" was my own. :)

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  by AntigoneRising on February 16th, 2007

Comments

• I think we have a few guys hanging around here that might push her in and that direction too :)

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  by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on February 14th, 2007

• Hmmm. Would you be talking about "Bastage"?http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/137024/379158

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  by Jodie44 on February 14th, 2007

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• Good idea!

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  by AntigoneRising on April 25th, 2007

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• I love Cher and Melissa Ethridge!

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  by AntigoneRising on August 29th, 2007

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• str8? PLEASE LEARN STRAIGHT

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  by KiloWattKid on August 29th, 2007

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• That must be it! Eureka!!!

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

• Haha Nice.

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  by Penny The Wise on April 19th, 2007

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• This is the whole point of my question, actually.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

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• Hmmm...if she is meant to be gay, I'm not, and it is my/her "path"; then, it stands to reason (by your theology) that your God first creates gays then punishes them for being gay.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

• yea thats why i was fixing to delete my answer and put never mind i dont agree with my answer. lol i swear i was goin gto and i will right now lol

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  by Miss. Tandra on April 5th, 2007

• You mean you have to change what you believe, because it leads to a logical conclusion that you cannot stomach.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 6th, 2007

• NOo i'm never going to change was i believe. I think what i believe is right, and i'm not budging **im not the type that gets persuaded** and never will be :)

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  by Miss. Tandra on April 6th, 2007

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• Well, unfortunately, I am attracted to men. I just cannot seem to stop being attracted to men and start being attracted to women.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

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• This is hard to read because you keep spelling "you" and "your" wrong.

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  by nishaphi on May 5th, 2007

• your wrong cause ur means your

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  by Miss sexy on May 5th, 2007

• Actually, ur is a horrid misspelling of your based upon the phonetics of poor pronounciation.

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  by AntigoneRising on May 6th, 2007

• "your wrong cause ur means your"
  That sentence make me vomit in my mouth a bit...

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  by Shelby on May 7th, 2007

• YUCK! Clean up the "your" thing. If you don't want to type, then don't answer the question in the first place.

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  by KiloWattKid on August 29th, 2007

Comments

• Why? Are you saying I would make a horrible lesbian?

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

• I don't know, would you?

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  by Mushen on April 5th, 2007

• Then what is your point? I'm not understanding.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 5th, 2007

• You're telling me. Why are you trying to 'choose to be gay'. You must know if you are or not.

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  by Mushen on April 5th, 2007

• Mushen, you are a strange fella, I must say...

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  by Penny The Wise on April 19th, 2007

• oh god, it gets worse. Guess what I'm not?!!!!!

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  by Mushen on April 24th, 2007

• I've clearly given my reasons for my attempts to successfully choose to be gay in other comments to answers on this question. Answering that is becoming annoyingly redundant, so please excuse me for not doing it again. The answer to your question is out here if you wish to find it.

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  by AntigoneRising on April 24th, 2007

• I take it then that you still aren't gay. Hmm, having to answer the same question over and over over again, I see a pattern emerging, do you not? D'you think you could be flogging a dead horse, so to speak. Nobody else understands why you are trying to be something you are not and so many have asked why, so many times, over and over and over again. Taking this into account and your latest failure, does it not occur to you, that whatever your reasons, (they have no effect on the end result anyway) that you should consider the possibility that, you are what you are. And there's sod all you can do to be something other than that. You can pretend to yourself and the rest of the planet for all of your days on earth - deep down, you'll remain the same. None of us can change who we really are. All we can do is spend much too much time feeling crappy and a little bit worse about ourselves with each passing day. What a waste of a life. What a miserable way to spend your time.

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  by Mushen on April 24th, 2007

• Mushen, something tells me you didn't pick up on the facetiousness of the question... I know it's "serious", but the point was that AR knows that you can't choose sexuality, it just it what it is. It's a question to drive the point home. I really wonder sometimes why people don't just take a look at all of the answers and the big picture to find the answer in the answer. Jeez!

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  by Penny The Wise on April 25th, 2007

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