- NEW!
by ChuckExAnon on April 5th, 2009
No, you need to start asking "what's wrong with online dating". I suspect that there are few quality relationships develped by means of that source.
With the exception of placing positive values on your own qualities as a person, there's nothing wrong with you! There are merely better ways of meeting people and presenting your qualities to them...and theirs to you.
Considering yourself to be a "loser" is definitely not a good first step. When one senses that characteristic in another, it's nearly an instant turn-off.
+5
by lilly petals on April 5th, 2009
There might not be anything wrong with you. Sometimes, no most of the time, that connection just isnt going to happen. If you really think you might be doing something wrong, maybe you should ask your close friends for insight. They might have a good idea as to how you come across to strangers. Havent you rejected anyone? Don't go for just anyone. Whatever you do, dont seem over eager. I'm sure I'm not the only woman out there whos interest in a man drops way significantly if he comes on to strong.
Now, are you not getting past first dates? Where does it go wrong?
by dea_ex_machina on April 5th, 2009
Oh! don't be discouraged! I am sure you have a lot of good things to offer, but the right person has not come along yet - maybe you need to try a different form of dating? or just become happy with yourself as you are at the moment, and just wait and see?
by happiness on April 5th, 2009
Sometime "the one" comes to you by surprise. So relax.., be yourself, maintain positive thingking.
by Looshk on April 5th, 2009
I find online dating be good and bad.
Bad because people tend to judge a lot on the physical only.
Good because for the more mature people using the site who won't judge because you're not an Angelina Jolie/Johnny Depp lookalike its a chance to talk to people without intimidation...
So no it's not you it's them.
by Over and Out on April 5th, 2009
You just haven't found the right person yet! Sometimes it just takes longer than we'd like! But don't get discouraged ...
by Cyanotic Wasp on April 5th, 2009
Nope. I never wonder what's wrong with me. I know there are LOTS of things wrong with me, but on balance there's lots more right, too. And I know that (especially at this age) anyone else has a balance of positive and negative attributes, too. Some matches are better than others, and the more particular my tastes -- and hers -- the harder it is to make a match.
So it's tough; it will always be tough. But don't dwell on the 'what is wrong?' aspect ... that will only focus your attention on negative, losing, downers and other failure attributes. You don't want your attention there!
The truly wonderful thing about online dating is the huge variety of people you can meet, people you never even knew existed before! (See, you can look at the reverse of that and think that "I can be rejected by people who didn't even know I existed!" -- which is true enough -- but don't go there.)
by Nod.Coltsfan on April 5th, 2009
I don't ask "whats wrong with me" but rather jump to conclusions about what I think is why girls hate me. Don't know if they are factual or not, but thats what I believe.
by AIR_INDIA_says_Wass_Up on April 5th, 2009
DAMM!! i have got rejected a lot :( , thing with online dating is that , today its u tommorow there can be someone else , its doest takes much to break up , just an ignore button works wonder.when u get rejected again and again al one needs to do is wait wait and more wait and watch for the right one and then go ahead :)
by Lord Knows on April 5th, 2009
Online dating isn't what it was intended to be. Now a days people are either looking for a "good time" or a marriage proposal and not the 'in-between'. It doesn't work that way. Solid relationships take time and input from both people. So many times I hear of people meeting some freak who isn't anything like they claimed to be in their profile. I've known people who fear typing what they are really looking for because they don't want to seem so 'this, or that'. I say the more honest you are the better your chances of finding the exact one for you. If you don't want someone with kids state that, If you don't care to have someone who has pets sleeping in the bed, add that. The classic "I'm a down to earth guy/girl with a witty personality" is just an out right lie in most cases. The majority of people who put "Outgoing, fun loving, energetic" turn out to be nothing more than couch potatoes who cringe at the thought of a 5 mile bike ride. Who wants that attached to their living room?
I honestly think that they should start having Likes and Dislikes as a part of the questionnaire.
Complete honesty is the main key though- If you don't get any bites don't give up. If it takes years to find the one who cares - it's better than test driving a bunch of lemons.
by Phillis - Zacks little sister on April 5th, 2009
Don't give up, but DO approach it from a different angle....with logic.
First of all, are they rejecting you, or are they dating you once or twice, but things just didn't work out the way you both hoped? If it's the latter, then that isn't rejection. We all have the right to say who we get involved with, and so do you.
Second, you have to ask yourself: What thing(s) am I doing wrong? If it's only been a few ladies, then odds are good that you haven't done anything wrong, and it's just the way the ball bounces. If it is a great many women, then you need some introspective time.
Third, only ONE of those relationships is going to culminate in a marriage, or life partner. It is very much like a bunch of sperm racing to firtilize a single egg. There will be MANY ladies who, though wonderful, will fall to the wayside. That simply means they aren't the one for you.
by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on April 5th, 2009
I think that on-line dating is not the way to go for most people. Sure, there are success stories but I think there are more horror stories of failure that don't make it on the commercials for "E-harmony.com".
Surely, you must have some single individuals that you come in to contact in your day to day life? If you go to a job, a place of worship, a gym, a bookstore, a supermarket... you come in contact with people. Maybe that chatty old lady cashier at the corner store has a daughter who is looking to date a young man like yourself?
Do you have some awful habits that drive people away? Do you have a friend that could give you a candid and truthful examination of you to see if there is anything you can do to make yourself more appealing?
If there is nothing seriously wrong with you, then just don't get discouraged. I would love to find out the list of reasons why you have been "rejected".
Maybe these women were looking for a big fat wallet and you didn't fulfill their monetary needs?
Give us some more details.
I have a 27 year old man at my job that I mentor on how to make himself more appealing to the opposite sex. So far, I have been making great strides with him when it comes to personal grooming, neatness and etiquette. He isn't perfect but he is much better than when I first met him. Sad thing is, he is beyond broke and really can't afford to take on a girlfriend let alone a wife. He wants a companion, a sex patner and someone to make babies with but he is financially unfit for this. I mentioned to him that he needs to stop spending so much of his income on his hobbies and interests but this has not worked because he purchased two huge computer monitors on Friday from newegg.com He can either have a lot of stuff or get himeself financially fit.
by anddeb on April 5th, 2009
No You just ned to meet someone and date them as on line dating is not good as all. In fact it is dangerous.
by celticmoonlight on April 5th, 2009
sometimes you need to let the past go in order to move forward
by Taipantheoutlaw on April 5th, 2009
yup yup. but I've got the solution for you! Right here!! STOP ONLINE DATING! that only costs you money and is good for nothing. HAve you got any hobbies away from your computer like sports? Try it there, or at work, or at BBQ parties at your friends. That's where you find a partner.
by Anonymous on June 8th, 2009
I understand what your going thru as online dating is a hit & miss game. Trust me Hun there is nothing wrong with you as I use to think the same way. Just don't let it bring you down as there might be something wrong with them or they don't know what there looking for exactly, and it's not your loss as it's there, just remember there are more fish in the sea and that when you meet miss right you both will know that the two of you are meant to be.. Just don't let it bring a great guy like u down.. Hope this helps..
by emily6 on September 4th, 2009
Is there a part of you that is ambiguous about wanting to be in a relationship? if so it won't happen. Is there is a part of you that is not ready? check deep inside and take an honest look. I believe you attract people who are on the same level you are. Therefore, if you are ambiguous/not ready for whatever reason you don't want or are afraid of having a relationship you will attract like minded people who will naturally turn you down because they are scared/ambiguous too.
I imagaine something like this is going on. This tells me there is NOTHING wrong with you. Its just that prehaps on a subconsious level you are pushing women away to protect your heart or for whatever reason.
I suggest that you try this on for size. on the other hand take it or leave it.
by Anonymous on September 2nd, 2009
I have tried meeting me online. I joined an online dating service and have had NO luck whatsoever! And yes, it is very discouraging and I have given up trying to meet anyone through a dating service!
by Jen-Jen on April 5th, 2009
No, I just give up trying .. Sometimes you have to wait for love to come to you.
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why do some articles about modern dating insist that women only have sex to bond ? do some people really think that old fashioned
by myname on January 17th, 2012
| 1 person likes this
You're reading After meeting lots of people (online dating) and feeling the sting of rejection again and again, do you start to ask "what's wrong with me?" It's beginning to be discouraging!
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Comments
I see your point about feeling like a loser being an instant turn-off. I really don't consider myself a loser, I think I'm a terrific guy. But, my confidence is waning. The more I keep at this, I can see that I'll continue to sink into loser territory and I really, really don't want that to happen.
Yes, I'm finding that online dating is a very rough way to go. I'm certainly open to meeting someone in the natural course of life, but those events are very rare. I don't want to have to wait years.
Any other venues for meeting people?
Thanks for the +5, Chuck, you're a pal! A +2 right back at ya!
by RecentlyBrokenUp on April 5th, 2009
double posted - my earlier comment didn't show up.
by RecentlyBrokenUp on April 5th, 2009
+6 :D
by Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls on April 5th, 2009
Cool! Thanks, Lori! :)
by RecentlyBrokenUp on April 5th, 2009