by Meg on March 29th, 2009

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Would you find it odd if a 32-year-old woman considers herself "best friends" with an 18-year-old guy?

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by ladyshakespeare on March 29th, 2009
it is odd, but stranger things have happened. She may just want a "rejuvenating" piece (if ya know what i mean)
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  by Kim on March 29th, 2009
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by Arisztid on March 29th, 2009
It depends on the individuals.

If the guy was immature and the woman mature, yes. If not, it would not be strange at all.
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- He is very immature (like some other 18 year old males)
  
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  by Meg on March 29th, 2009
- That is a bit odd, then. Oh I see that my points did not take. I am going to try again.
  
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  by Arisztid on March 29th, 2009
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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on March 29th, 2009
I kinda view it like I do the taboo relationships some infamous teachers have had with underage students. I think there is something beyond emotionally stunted growth or mental imbalance. I believe there is some past life issues going on. When two souls reconnect it can be REALLY difficult to ignore it. I think that might be what's going on in this case as well. Just a thought.
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by ARTICFOX700 on March 29th, 2009
no not really ,but how long can a 32 year old woman stay on the level of the 18 year old guy? Your better off trying to find someone a little closer in age group for same need interests. Look what happended to jennifer aniston..
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by Gene H on March 29th, 2009
No.
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by Rahbar on March 31st, 2009
It could have been 40 years ago!
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by Indyla on March 29th, 2009
At 31 I was in very close relationship with a 19 year old. We do get together sometimes for old times sake.
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by Timjon on March 29th, 2009
Not if she's a school teacher. Seems to be the norm nowadays.
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by Danilito on March 29th, 2009
Yeah. Though it seems that the 18y/o might be more mature than her, for his age.
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by HEYTHERE on March 29th, 2009
Not if she's the mother.
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by john pennington on March 29th, 2009
Both are adults.

Today, anything goes.

As long as they are happy together.
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by Ms.A on March 29th, 2009
Yes.
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by Profile Scheduled for Deletion on March 29th, 2009
uhhh ya!
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by . on March 29th, 2009
nope. im a 17 year old female, and i have MANY older friends (some in their 40s & 50s) that are males.

theres nothing wrong with that.
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by branciforte3241 on March 29th, 2009
No, it's not odd t all. Chronological age is only one of the ways in which people are younger or older. People might advance quickly in one area but slowly in another. For instance, the woman might be 32 chronologically, but 24 in terms of spirit, and 50 in terms of responsibility, and 20 in terms of emotional maturity. The number of years you've been on the planet has little to do with who you are.

What is odd is that the 18-year-old guy isn't biased. In my experience, young people seem to have an age bias until they are around 25 or 26. Once you've been out of the homogeneous school environment for a while, and mix in with the general population, age doesn't matter like it did when you were younger. But before that happens, older people will seem like a different species to you.

I assume that the original poster here is relatively young.
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- I'm 19/F and I worry about her because all her friends are our age.
  
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  by Meg on March 29th, 2009
- Can you articulate your concern? What are you worried about exactly? What do you think is going to happen?
  
  I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing. I just think you need to examine exactly what you think the problem is before you can know if your concerns are valid. If it just "feels wrong", that's where societal stereotypes can lead you astray.
  
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  by branciforte3241 on April 3rd, 2009
- I just think it's not very healthy for her to be depending on a bunch that are not at the same maturity level as her (esp some of her guy friends). You know how 18-19 y/o guys can be with girls sometimes. She's very sensitive and takes everything they do to her very seriously. She's never had a boyfriend in her life, never even held hands with one before. (i.e. one of them gave her a condom as a joke, and she couldn't sleep for a week because she thought he liked her. She got very depressed to hear he did not)
  
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  by Meg on April 4th, 2009
- Actually, from what you are saying, it sounds like she *is* at the same maturity level as they are.
  
  Here's how it works (in my experience): People seek out what they need, oftentimes at the unconscious level. If this woman perhaps missed out on being a teenager, then maybe that's what she's seeking. We search for in others that which is missing in ourselves. Maybe she had a strict religious upbringing? Or maybe she was abused or depressed as a teenager and missed out on that part of her life? It doesn't sound like it's actually hurting anyone. Maybe this is just part of her process of finding herself?
  
  If you get a chance, check out the movie American Beauty.
  
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  by branciforte3241 on April 4th, 2009
- I guess what you're saying makes sense. She did miss out on being a teenager because she was teased and rejected all the time because of her weight. It must be mixed up for her :s
  
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  by Meg on April 4th, 2009
- Does she still have the weight? And do people still tease her about it? If she doesn't find some sort of resolution or acceptance, she might stay stuck as a teenager forever.
  
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  by branciforte3241 on April 5th, 2009
- She still has the weight, and I guess her maturity level and her weight don't work in her favor when trying to find a guy. We joined a gym and I motivate her to go, but it's hard watching her go through this.
  I told her she should go get help, but she won't so I want to help her.
  
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  by Meg on April 5th, 2009
- I think that is very sweet of you. Do you like her as a friend, for herself? Or is this a pity case?
  
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  by branciforte3241 on April 5th, 2009
- Both.
  
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  by Meg on April 5th, 2009
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by celticmoonlight on March 29th, 2009
nope, im 21 years old. my absolute best friend and kindest person ive ever met is a 44 yr old male
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by Violet on March 29th, 2009
well, without knowng any details, it does sound odd.
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- Finally someone that agrees! lol (but I appreciate all opinions) This lady is 32 years old and she's never dated anyone in her life (never even been kissed), not by choice. She's very desperate for friends. I tell her it's unhealthy, but she doesn't get it. They have sleepovers, talk on the phone, etc. I know for a fact they are not romantically involved, she's just lonely.
  
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  by Meg on March 29th, 2009
- how sad. What is this kid like? How did they become friends?
  
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  by Violet on March 29th, 2009
- Although the guy is very kind and nice, he's pretty immature (typical 18 year old). He's failing school, not sure if he's happy with the program he chose in college, smokes weed on a regular basis, etc.
  They met at our work, he was a cashier and she is the store secretary. He has long since left his job there, but they're still "best friends"
  
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  by Meg on March 29th, 2009
- I think he may be a bad influence on your friend. What do his parents think of this? Where they friends before he was 18?
  
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  by Violet on March 29th, 2009
- Yeah, he actually pressured her into smoking weed -- weed isn't bad in my eyes, just the fact that he talked her into something she was opposed to before. Now that I think of it, he may even still be 17 :s
  
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  by Meg on March 29th, 2009
- What if your friend failed a drug test because of him? I'm not against weed either, but my bf and I don't smoke for our jobs (well, I lost mine, but if I get another one, I want to be able to pass). He was tested is past week! We ALMOST smoked the weekend before!
  I'd say it was almost ok fo rthem to be friends, but he's a really bad influence on her. She sounds very sweet and innocent
  
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  by Violet on March 29th, 2009
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by UneFille on March 29th, 2009
Yep.
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by Cantras on March 29th, 2009
I'm 22 and one of my best friends is a woman in her 40s.

If they're friends, they're friends. People meet and hit it off all sorts of places.
If they're lovers, they're lovers. Who cares?
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- It just weirds me out that all her friends are that age.
  
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  by Meg on March 29th, 2009
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by Wisdom Tooth on March 29th, 2009
Not at all.
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by Anon on March 29th, 2009
Not at all. I'm 16 and I have many adult associates.
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by Mosexy on March 29th, 2009
Well, their buddies, you know. They help each other out. She's probably like a sexual surrogate for him. That's a tough job, teaching him how to bang a lady right. But hey, they're friends, and she knows what's up. It'd be wrong for her to keep such wisdom to herself.
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by Anonymous on March 29th, 2009
does age really matter let friends be friends.
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by Seeya says Dont Ever Give Up on March 29th, 2009
boy toy!roflmao
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by Kim on March 29th, 2009
I do but I dont the reason why i dont think it is because i like a cop whos the same age and weve kissed and things like that nothing more. but i dont agre with it but if its there then its there what can you do lol
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by Gone. on March 29th, 2009
A little odd yes. But it's up to her and the young boy isn't it.
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by Gingerminx on March 29th, 2009
No, I am 47, been married for 24 years and I have a 22 year old son, among the people I call friends are several younger people. There are all kinds of friendships for all kinds of reasons. We like different people for different reasons.
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by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on March 29th, 2009
not at all. I'm 29 and I would get along better with an 16 year old who did not believe in the lifestyle crap most people do these days (drug use, excessive sexuality, etc) than I would with the average 29 year old.
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by AIR_INDIA_says_Wass_Up on March 31st, 2009
That is what friendship it all about , it doesnt matter whats the age , religion and stuff like that .and for ur question i wont and dont find it odd at all , its friendship in the end :)
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by Lady Lay on March 31st, 2009
I also feel that there's someting a bit 'off' with the whole thing...but you never know...i've been friends with women and men almost 15 years older than me...it seems alot but really could be nothing..then again--im a woman and it just seems more natural for a younger woman to spend time with older men than the other way around...doesn't it?
also--I don't know if "best friends" imply something more..but it could be sort of 'mentor'-thing? If i were approaching 30 (well soon--but not just yet luckily!) and the younger guy is really mature i would also spend time with him if i enjoyed it!
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by Anonymous on April 2nd, 2009
Ok, personal life experience here: I've been best friends with a young man since he was 16 and I was 29 (he's 19, I'm 32 now); nothing sexual has ever occurred between us. Basically, our friendship was based on our shared passions for online gaming, science fiction, and general geek stuff.

Unfortunately, I think our friendship might be in the dying stages, because we talk less often :( So, that's something to consider if you become friends with someone younger: they eventually start growing into different people and you (the older person) may not fit into their lives any longer. I did enjoy having him in my life while he was around, though; he was my rock when my life was being uprooted last year by a layoff.
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by anddeb on March 31st, 2009
One time before he went off to college I was friend best friends with a 17 year old and I was 50 for 5 years.
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by Hani Abdel Kader on March 31st, 2009
NO...friendship has nothing to do with ages. If honesty,care and understanding exist then real friendship will last.
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by Nightwatchdog on March 29th, 2009
A bit unusual perhaps but not odd - friendships come in infinite varieties.
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Would you find it odd if a 32-year-old woman considers herself "best friends" with an 18-year-old guy?

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