Trying to get back with husband (25 yrs) after 1yr apart. He refuses to make love and says 'when I'm happy' when I ask him when? One of the reasons we split up was this lack of physical love (5 yrs ago he stopped as he was angry with me). What can I do?

Comments

• Once in a while you make sense:)

  • Report
  

  by Sosueme on March 14th, 2009

• Hey! I resemble that remark!!

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 14th, 2009

• Yes, I'm very concerned about that too. Part of me thinks I must be crazy but another part of me still loves him and wishes we could be happy together. I think he does have issues that counselling might help but he won't go there. I'm giving it a time frame - if it doesn't improve by a certian time I will call it a day with him.

  • Report
  

  by katespana on March 14th, 2009

• It's very hard to let go of your feelings for someone, especially after so many years together. But it doesn't seem too realistic to think he's just going to change out of the blue. And his not wanting to go to counseling to try to fight for the relationship doesn't seem like a great sign. He uses sex as a weapon and I think that's really low. It sounds like you'll be returning to the situation you left and that you're wishing for something that just can't be.

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 14th, 2009

• There you go.....making sense again:)

  • Report
  

  by Sosueme on March 14th, 2009

• Grrrrrrrrrr.....can't help it!;)

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 14th, 2009

• G considering you are currently of sound mind I replied to your comment on a question from someone else about being aroused by your s/o. For some reason, it wouldn't let me comment so I answered your comment in an answer, if that makes any sense.

  • Report
  

  by Sosueme on March 14th, 2009

• Well that clears that up. Why don't you link me dearie?;)

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 14th, 2009

• If I can do this I will be shocked, but I think it's this:
  
  http://www.answerbag.com?a_view/5919301
  
  It was/is answer 8

  • Report
  

  by Sosueme on March 14th, 2009

• Let me try http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/5919301 and see if that works. You just go to the answer and hit "Permalink" on the line with the user name. Then you can copy and paste it from the top of your screen. Are you sure you made it through law school?;)

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 14th, 2009

• Yeah. That worked. You had a ? instead of a /.

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 14th, 2009

• I really am computer illiterate.

  • Report
  

  by Sosueme on March 14th, 2009

• Hey, guys! Don't let me and my boring questions/life come between what is obviously a beautiful relationship! Oh, well, as long as someone is happy life can't be all bad...

  • Report
  

  by katespana on March 15th, 2009

• We're still here for you! We're just a couple of pea brains who get easily distracted when we have some time on our hands;)

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 15th, 2009

• kat...the peguin is happy, I'm not. I do agree with what she said though

  • Report
  

  by Sosueme on March 15th, 2009

• He's fine. He's just busy getting some ducks in a row. But we're always at your service;)

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 15th, 2009

• You two made me laugh, actually. And, you know if we have a sense of humour it puts things into perspective. Thanks for being there, I appreciate it. lol x

  • Report
  

  by katespana on March 15th, 2009

• Good to laugh and to always remember that you deserve happiness and love:)

  • Report
  

  by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 15th, 2009

• Hope things work out for you. Glad you had a laugh. The best medicine.

  • Report
  

  by Sosueme on March 15th, 2009

Comments

• I've thought about this possibility. Even years ago he was much less interested than me and he never looks at another woman - even his mates tell me this when they're all out together he just isn't interested in any passing beauty. He really seems to prefer the company of men, especailly 'tough' biker types and he is obsessed with looking after his physique, never over-indulges in food, etc., But if I ever raise the subject he just gets mad... Maybe I should have given up years ago, I feel I've thrown away my best years, yet there's a lot of goodness in him too, makes me feel safe etc., Thanks.

  • Report
  

  by katespana on October 22nd, 2009

Comments

• I wish I had the nerve! I know that what you say makes sense and it's not as if I'm not interested, I just wonder if I've left it too late to make radical changes?

  • Report
  

  by katespana on March 15th, 2009

Comments

Comments

• I appreciate your response. But the strange thing is that I am an attractive woman and look much younger than my years. As for going down on him, he NEVER EVER let me do that tho' I used to offer. What do you make of that?

  • Report
  

  by katespana on February 5th, 2010