ANSWERS: 10
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  • No one here can make that decision for you, but by your cheating, leaves you with zero morality and credibility. You are not being fair or kind to your long time husband by cheating, he deserves better than that. With that said do whatever you want but someone is going to get hurt, because of your cheating and betrayal.
  • Do yourself and your husband a favor and talk about this and then if you are not happy, quit wasting your time and his, and compromising your kids and get out and start over. It won't be fun for anyone, but neither would having your husband find out about your affair, if he doesn't already know, or for him to have one himself. Quit playing around, talk it over in honest terms with your husband with your children as priorities, and then take some action that will be of benefit and in the best interests of all concerned. What you are doing now is not benefiting anyone, including you.
  • The only advice I can give you is that you end a marriage over the dynamics within the marriage, not over someone else. You also need to end one relationship before you begin another. Anything else messes with your perception and judgment of the relationships. When you fall in love with one man, your interpretation of your relationship with the other changes drastically. I suggest you read "Why We Love" by Helen Fischer to understand the underlying biochemistry and dynamics of romantic love.
  • You should absolutely end one relationship before engaging in another. If you are certain that counseling cannot save your marriage and keep your kid's family intact, then end your marriage before pursuing the new love. It is only fair to all parties--especially your husband and new man. Ideally, you may still want to talk to a counselor, if not to save your marriage, then to find out how to help your kids through this difficult time.
  • You have a responsibility to your children first and foremost. Whatever the outcome do not loose their respect. Another man can do that in a heartbeat. On a personal note I was 17 when my parents split. My parents were married for 25 years, and my mother was not happy for many of them. As the years progressed it got harder for her, but she stuck it out for us. I had a 3.8 GPA until they broke up, afterwords I nearly dropped out of highschool. I got mixed up in the wrong crowd and with the wrong drugs, just to get away from it all. It has taken me years to get back on track. By no means do I think you should be unhappy. I have never resented my mother for her decision. I support her whole heartedly. But had she done it the wrong way I can only imagine what may have happened to me. Be careful.
  • It takes two to make a marriage work, so I guess the question is if you and your spouse are willing to try and make changes in order to make it work or not. If your husband isn't willing to work on the marriage, then I would consider getting a divorce. If you are staying together for the kids, you should ask yourself if the dynamic between you and your husband is actually good for the kids. If not, it sounds like it may be over. If it's over, get out already!
  • What you should do is run and get counseling, and figure out what it is that has made you fall out of love with your husband. Then if you feel that it is as problem that is insurmountable then you should divorce. Do not get a divorce just because it is the easy way out.
  • I am divorced due to a cheating wife of ten years. Its a wrenching feeling to go through when your wife of so long shares herself with another man. I feel that you should have ended your marriage back at the time you felt that you weren't happy. Statistics show that relationships that arise as the result of infidelity almost never work. So....to answer your question of what you should do? I think that you have some explaining to do with your current Husband.
  • I think it's about time you be honest with your husband, i know it's not gonna be easy to tell him but your hurting him by just not telling him, you're hurting yourself as well...He deserves to know whats happening, put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if that your husband hiding all these feeling from you...so i suggest you talk to him a.s.a.p
  • C'mon be honest, that's the reason why you're no longer happy is because of the other guy. Fish is caught in the mouth, "I haven't been happy with my husband for a very long time" that is because you owned a pair pf philandering eyes, had you focus on your husband and family, you would have stayed happy. Rule of thumb in marriage or any relationships, if you're not happy, try to work it out or get out, but don't cheat while your at it. Esp. on your case there are kids involved, at least give the kids and your husband the respect that they deserved. So sad.

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