I don't think it is "necessary", but I am not opposed to it under the following circumstances: 1) Must be age appropriate (you can't spank the tiny ones and beyond a certain age, well, it is just weird) 2) A spank is a swat on the bottom, open handed and not hard. It is not closed fisted and should never be done with anything but the hand (no paddles, wooden spoons, belts, frying pans) 3) It has to mean something and should only be used to really get a child's attention. My parents only did it to me two or three times and only when it was because I was in to something dangerous. Kids don't understand danger, but they understanding a spanking. Edited: It also depends on the kid. They would spank my brother and he would just laugh. Too traumatic for some and not enough for others.

it might scare the children away and they might start hating you

I have always held when you WANT to hit your child, you shouldnt. Spanking is a last resort. When reason and rules have failed, a swat on the butt may get their attention. A spanking should NEVER leave welts or bruises. When I was growing up it wasnt the spanking that hurt so much as the thgouth of it. Dad used to say "Your gonna get a spanking. Go to your room and I'll be there n a minute." I am sure he waited just to increase the tension. THAT was worse than getting whipped.

well i think a smack on the hand or bottom when your a kid doesnt do any harm, but i wouldnt go overboard and hit them hard. a tap on the hand is enough for most children to realise they have done wrong

I think it depends on the child. Like my twins the boy is very stuburn and bull headed if I try to give him a time out it is a joke. But my daughter is a different story I can tell her NO and she will not do it some of the time if she wants to push it then a time out works great for her. I don't know why they are so different but I am sure it is like that with almost every child.

As a last resort when verbal discipline and other forms of punishment are not working. The concept of discipline is a negative consequence for a negative action, be that a stern word of reprimand from a parent, a deprivation of a privelege or a smack on the bottom. For my son, verbal is enough, he senses the displeasure in my voice and listens to the words and they hit the mark. For my daughter, you can talk till your blue in the face and she'll ask what's for dinner in the middle of it, a little smack on the bottom works for her when she doesn't let the words or other punishments sink in. It is never the first line of reasoning, it should always be one of the last alternatives. I do not agree with zero spanking rules, I was spanked when I was little, not often, but I never forgot them through this day.

ABSOLUTLY!my name is jason and i am 16, as a older child i have noticed the tremendous respect i have in my parents because they diciplined me when i was wrong. sure some others may see this punishment as a cruel and abusive form of correction, but i ask you as a concerned adult and a protective parent do you wish to have control over your child or do you want to be buddy buddy with him/her and have them walking over you? In time your child will understand that such a punishment was approriate. thankyou for taking time in reading my answer.

at times if they really deserve it and nothing else has worked. it shouldn't just be the first thing you do every time though

NEVER NEVER NEVER! A leather belt was used by my mother and his own belt was used by my Dad....sometimes his had a metal end on it. The only other 'corporal' punishment was a slap to the face. NO, NO. I do not think that in any way it made me a better adult. I know that it did not make my older brother a better adult because he used corporal punishment on his sons and worse on 2 of his 3 wives---"the third wife laid down the law" so he never hurt her physically when he was drinking. (In every way he acted out at his family as an alcoholic just LIKE our father did. My younger sister was 'spanked', beaten, more than once with a belt and there is no doubt that it DID NOT make her a better adult. In fact, it led her to hate herself, have very poor self image, believed that she was no good in every way and she could never find peace with/from God. Her 2 worst "spankings" beatings with a belt were: at age 7 by our young 24 yr "saintly" mother; and, at age 17 by our father. Nobody remembers why she was 'spanked for doing something wrong" at age 7. I remember every blow and the yelling at her and her fighting to get away from mother's hold on her with one hand and swinging the belt with the other.At age 8, I was powerless as were my brothers, age 6 and 9. At age 17 in 1957, she still lived at home aand bought a car after getting a great job after her June 1957 graduation. Most Saturday nights she and a girl friend would go to a movie, bowling, skating, and similar activities that were available to teenagers in the 1950's over 30 years before the sexual revolution and ease in buying beer, and the use of heroin primarily in the NE U.S. One night she and her girl friend did not just 'drag' (as in the movie, "American Graffitti" that was filmed at the favorite drive-in, round, at one of the street that was crowded by teenagers every Fri and Sat nights) the street and yell at the boys, but they left town and drove 60-plus miles away AND she arrived home at 8:00 a.m. When she opened the front door father demanded that she go to her room...our mother and I were in the kitchen and, as at age 9, I could only listen to her screams because my interference at 18 would just have meant that he would become even more angry and beat me too. Same for our mother. (That evening she called our grandmother and was on the plane to travel 5 states away the very next morning.) What he had done: Made her remove her clothing all except bra and panties, used his stiff narrow belt with a metal end to beat on her so hard so long. The incident was not mentioned by our parents. You see, he had decided that she was out there having sex with one or more boys---being liki him probably several times a week when at his favorite bar owned by the woman he had slept with for several years before alcohol killed him at 47. How "in God's green earth" could those 'spankings' have made her a better adult. She never spanked her own kids who are 3 fine adults now. She died at 57. God was merciful for she was happy one minute and dead the next, before her son could walk around the table, when an anyourism broke in the front of her head. Sadly, the laws making such treatment Child Abuse did not come until the 80's. I realize that some adults can bury such memories so deed that they do not realize the power those buried feelings have on their adult lives.

I've always found distraction and losing something important to the child are better tools than a spank. At any rate my opinion is of no importance, as my lovely government has seen fit to interfere yet again in a nannying act that criminalises spanking in a bid to protect children who are actually beaten.

I honestly don't think it's ever necessary. There are alternative methods of punishment that are just as effective, if not better.

In my opinion, spanking by a parent is a confession of failure of parenting. During the child's first 5 to 7 years the child will almost exclusively reflect what has been taught (both intentionally and through example) by the parents. during the next 3 to 55 years the child will begin exercising independent judgment but also continue to reflect learnings from the parents. What the parent is really spanking is himself/herself for conduct the child is merely reflecting. That is, the child is acting as the child has been taught and when the parent recognizes conduct the parent doesn't like in him/herself, the spanking occurs.

i think a good spanking on the bare-bottom of a child is good form of good discipline i was spanked was a child my dad used a belt on me i grew -up just fine

I would never try her husband would object!

All these comments that violence and discipline aren't the same a correct. Violence *is* better than no discipline. When is spanking good? When you see five-year-olds who swear like a sailor, call their parents by their first names, don't do as they're told, and recieve no other punishment. Swat 'em on the butt a few times, should calm them down. It's like a dog and a prong correction collar. After enough corrections, they figure out, "Gee, maybe I shouldn't do that." Now, in Anniegirl's story, she's opposed to spanking because her parents really didn't know how to spank appropriately. It's to correct, not to inflict excessive pain. Just enough to make sure they know what they did was wrong.

It can and probably will happend at some point. I agree with JAMMco that this is an escalation process, although it must be made clear that violence (hitting) is not always the proper escalation for non-compliance (i.e. violence as a last resort). After you have administered one spanking and one super time-out (go to your room, no TV, games, etc, for the rest of the day), let the little one choose his/her punishment. When the little one has gone too far, and you let them choose, say, "Sorry, but last time you didn't learn so this time you won't get what you want, you'll get the other" (or some new punishment). For those people who feel you should never spank a child, sorry to bother you. Yes, I got whipped with hands, belts, whatever, when I was younger and no, I am not just propagating the habit. Kids need to learn discipline but also need to understand that violence is not the ultimate elevation of discipline. But they need to be exposed to it to be well rounded individuals. I have a BS and have taken Educational Psychology and Ed Sociology courses, although I admit that doesn't make me any more an expert than you.

When they aren't listening to reason and/or other punishment.

Never.

When they have their jaw clamped down on the arm of your 80 year old grandma, on a trip to the nursing home.

Never, not anymore at least. These days parents need to look for better alternatives to discipline their children. Back in the day you could punch a kid in the face and teachers could beat them with rulers. That was the easy way out for parents, and the kid who got beat would then grow up to be a rageful individual and beat on other people as well. I know spankings are on the smaller scale of this but still...If you give you kid enough love and attention then he/she won't disrepect you or anyone else. There are way to many stupid parents who don't know how to raise their children properly these days

Never. Violence inflicted on a child -- even disciplinary in nature -- is totally counter productive.

It is only necessary for behaviors that must be stopped immediately and permanently. For example, when my son was 3, he wandered out of the driveway into the road while I was putting his newborn sister in the car. A car coming down the road came to a screeching halt and missed him by only about 10 inches or so. Well, not understanding the situation, he decided he liked the noise and wanted to do it again. For the next two months every time we went outside he tried to run for the road. The next time he got into a situation that could have become dangerous (playing with an electric outlet), I spanked him and he never did it again. However... I know for certain that if I routinely spanked him for everything he did wrong, that it would have had no impact. Most behaviors should be attended to with time-outs or removal of privelages.

When the child has no respect for you and won't listen to reason. A swat on the backside brings them back down to earth. My son is proof of this; we are using spanking to aid our other methods of punishment. A spanking alone is not the answer, however, it takes a lot of calming down, logical discipline (e.g. you were naughty at the movies last time, so you're not going this time), and consistency. A week or so ago I too was against spanking, but now I am realising that it can really help out-of-control children. :)

The only time I ever spanked my daughter was when she was 5 & ran out in the street when a car was coming. I never did it again. That was 10 years ago

Well once last year when I was 24 I spanked my 3-year-old son for squirting lamps with his squirt gun after I told him not to 7 times. I got a wooden spoon, pulled him over my lap and I started spanking him then my wife got all mad and took him away to stay at a hotel. She said if I ever did that again she'd move back to Texas with her parents. From then on I didn't really think spanking was okay. I was never the violent type. I think spanking is bad for children.

when they hurt the dog

When I was growing up I remember being spanked once, and to this day my dad asks, "Have I ever spanked you" and I say yes once. So the parent will forget but the child won't. The think that really hurted was the arm grabbing OMG I hated that. And my parents made me want to act good with words. They said you're my good little girl, when I wasn't doing anything. And I stayed that way. I wanted to act good for their approval. A child needs to be informed when they are good and bad, with words. Spanking isn't the answer. Funny story though: My older brother would get spankings and he learned to say, "oh that feels good, harder." It worked for him, but not for me.

As someone who got spanked...and often lol. I think there is nothing wrong with it. And you can always tell the parents that don't more often then not because they flat out don't have control of their kids. I know for a fact that as soon as the threat of a belt came that my mood changed. I know with my kids I laid down the law early and made sure they knew not to go against my word, now at age 9 and 12 I rarely have problems with em and if they get a lil rowdy I just bring out the scary dad and it stops. If its not for you..then thats fine. But don't go trying to change other people's well used tactics that work for them.

If they purposely defy you after being warned not to do something or if other methods of punishment fail.

Never. All it says is "I am stronger than you so do as I say". Consider the following scenario. Your parent develops senile dementia resulting in reduction of mental capacity to a child like state. Your parent does something wrong. Do you wallop them for it? I doubt it.

I have only spanked my kids maybe 2 or 3 times when they where younger. With some kids, once they realize that you mean what you say the straighten up pretty quickly.

Sorry, but I don't adhere to "spare the rod, spoil the child." I don't believe in spanking a child under any circumstances. If you would just spank a child, then don't have one. It's so simple!

Never.

spankings should be given when the child does not listen and after warning of a dangerous situation. This goes for adolescents and teenagers to.

when they break the rules that they are given. Lie cheat steal