gravy is the chicken (tan colored) or beef (dark brown colored) thick liquid i put on meat. sauce is like pasta sauce i put on spaghetti. but a lot of italians refer to pasta sauce as "gravy"

The difference isn't clear cut as there is a lot of crossover. Most would say that a gravy is with flour added and a sauce is without, more natural, but that only refers to what you do with pan drippings, like from sautes. Bearnaise sauce has flour, as do most other sauces. And Italians refer to their tomato sauce as gravy. But I'd say that is the main exception to the 'gravy is a sauce made from pan drippings'. So all are sauce, whereas gravy can refer to something specific to the locale, what they call gravy.

i thought there was a difference until i started seeing my s/o and apparently most italians call sauces gravies too i dont understand what makes tomato sauce a gravy though he was never able to explain it to me

I am an Italian Chef and I can try and answer your question without confusing you too much: Here is the easy answer: Tomato Sauce is made by beginning with a saute of oil, garlic, and vegetables (usually onions, celery, and carrots), followed by your tomato mixture and seasoning. Tomato sauce can properly cook, simmer, and marinate within 1 hour. Tomato Gravy is much more in depth, and is also reffered to as "Sunday Gravy" as it was generally the normal Sunday dinner for most Italian families. The gravy is made by beginning with a saute of oil and meat (usually braciole, pork chops or sausages, meatballs, roasts or a combination), followed by you vegetable, tomato mixture, and seasoning. It is reffered to as Gravy because of the juices from the meats that are used as you base. A proper gravy will take a minimum of 4-6 hours to properly cook, simmer, and marinate. Now for the history: Gravy was introduced during the Renaissance, when the French were politicing in Northern Italy. They brought with them many trends in fashion and cusine, and it was their rich, stew-like concoctions that inspired the creation of the Bolognese sauce (pork, beef, carrot, celery, onion, white wine, tomato paste, and a touch of cream). From here the Northern Italians began adding meats to thier tomato sauces, and calling it "salsa di pomodoro" or tomato gravy. The Northern Italians typical Sunday dinner usually began with pasta topped with the gravy, the meat from the gravy was the second course, and that was followed by a vegetable such as broccoli, or escarole aglio e olio, salad, and bread, and finished with dessert and espresso. The Southern Italians, however, for the most part stuck with the Tomato Sauce, and thier second course was meat separated from the sauce (usually lamb, pork, veal, or beef). But they began adding thier meatballs and braciole to thier tomato sauce over the years. Sicily: While the French were wooing the Northern Italians, the Sicilians were throwing them out of Sicily! Of all the people who occupied Sicily, the French were the ones most hated and reviled! If one looks at Sicilian cooking, they can easily see the bits and pieces of the various peoples who occupied and ruled over the island. However, the French did not leave any impression on the Sicilians except disgust and after they routed the French from Sicily all traces of their cooking was equally routed from their cooking methods or style. You will never hear a full-blooded Sicilian call it Gravy, it will always be reffered to as Sauce to Sicilians. The Majority of Italians, however, use the term Gravy to describe thier Sunday dinner. If you are in a family that is mixed with Italians and Sicilians, like I am, you will hear this debate quite often.