by pagan-babe on February 1st, 2007

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Whats the worse excuse youv heard for taking a day off work?

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Answers. 100 helpful answers below.

by Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin on February 10th, 2007
That there was a sniper in his neighborhood and he didn't feel safe leaving for work.
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- nice!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- lol! nice one, auntie em!
  
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  by zee-ster on April 16th, 2007
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by Simply msFortunate on February 1st, 2007
This may seem insensitive, but I used to work for a staffing service, so I've heard them all.

An employee, notorious for not showing up to any of his scheduled shifts, called in a few times in one week. The first day, he had been up vomiting all night. The next, he fell up the stairs by slipping on one of those stair grip things that is supposed to help you maintain traction when climbing steps. The final straw was when he called, said, "My best friend and my aunt and my friend's mom all died this week. Everyone's dying. I'm so sad. I can't go to work."

ARGH!
Comments
- everyone's dying? does that make me mean cuz i am laughing? and, falling UP the stairs?! this guy needs a book on excuses or something. pathetic!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- LOL - no, I laughed pretty hard too!
  
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  by Simply msFortunate on March 26th, 2007
- hey i have fallen up the stairs... haha, then again i am a clutz :-D
  
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  by I'm a ginger on June 15th, 2008
- i just remembered an incident where i feel up the stairs... in my defense, i was drunk. heh. me thinks i wouldn't do well as a lawyer.
  
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  by zee-ster on June 27th, 2008
- hahaha!!
  
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  by I'm a ginger on June 27th, 2008
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by Patti jo on February 10th, 2007
That my car wouldn't start and then the boss shows up to start it - BUSTED
Comments
- What a bugger of a boss, thank god my boss doesn't live anywhere near me!! :)
  
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  by Anonymous on February 10th, 2007
- I know your right about that - I just played dumb - Yep I went to work -
  
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  by Patti jo on February 10th, 2007
- thats funny!
  
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  by I love my baby on May 21st, 2007
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by Ausbabe on February 1st, 2007
"I think my wife's cheating on me so I need to hide at home to try and catch her..."

(an excuse I heard a teaching colleague give before hanging up)
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by anonymous on February 10th, 2007
My friend once phoned in work and said that she couldn't get out of her flat, the door had broke and she had to wait for the repair man to come and fix it before she could get out.

A couple of funny ones:

"I'm finding that the job is interfering with my drinking."

"I thought I wanted a job, but it just turns out I want the money."
Comments
- omg! are you reading my mind? i was just thinking how my job is interferring with my partying...
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- I know, I find my job very inconvenient aswell, especially on a monday morning after the weekend.
  
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  by anonymous on April 17th, 2007
- not only that, but how in the hell am i supposed to start martini hour at 1 PM, when i'm at work? that doesn't go over for some reason.
  
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  by zee-ster on April 17th, 2007
- Life just isn't fair...
  
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  by anonymous on April 18th, 2007
- i could drug the drinking water here and then drink cocktails in the afternoon! i don't think drugged coworkers would notice... while i'm at it, i'm gonna switch the coffee to decaf, wait until they get used to it, and then start brewing coffee that is twice as strong! this should be fun :)
  
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  by zee-ster on April 18th, 2007
- Work is the curse of the drinking class
  
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  by Will on May 22nd, 2007
- ooh! i likie.
  
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  by zee-ster on May 22nd, 2007
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by AntigoneRising on February 1st, 2007
Unless it is sick leave, I do not know (nor do I care) why my coworkers do not come to work. They take a personal day, it is theirs, and their use of it isn't my business. It certainly isn't my place to judge it.
Comments
- i could see this, except at my work, there are only vacation days and sick days. the sick days are unlimited and so if one weren't really sick ... well, i think you could see how that would be a problem.
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by abzilla on February 10th, 2007
my arm won't quit twitching
Comments
- did you use this? or someone you know? just curious if it worked and/or if the person's arm really was twitching. was it twitching enough to consititute not working?
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by unforgiven017 on February 10th, 2007
This is the best one I've heard. "My boyfriend bought me a bunny rabbit, but I can't give it the love that it needs. I have to go return it to the store."

She was crying hysterically the entire time.
Comments
- lol! damn, and i thought i could be an emotional basketcase sometimes...
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- Awwww. :( That broke my heart!
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- penny the sweet? i noticed from your other accounts listed on here that you seem to be a nerd and a punk girl... i'm a geek who loves zee punk AND we both live in the great north wet... the next thing i know, you're going to tell me you love coffee and trees or something. :)
  
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  by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
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by Anonymous on February 10th, 2007
This co-worker called and left this message on a voicemail:

"I am on vacation in the Bahamas. while scuba diving, i broke my ankle and will not be in to work for several months".

How do you break your ankle while scuba diving?

He lost his job.
Comments
- maybe he whacked his ankle on some coral or a rock underwater? (i'm stretching here, i know.)
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- It IS possible that he got hit by a big wave and he got sucked under hitting his leg on either the floor or a coral or something. Also he could have fallen on the boat either before or after the actual diving... NOT making excuses, but it's entirely possible. The sea is a dangerous place.
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- or... maybe he was eating at that fish and chips place that is right on the ocean front @ pike's place, and he slipped on some fresh seagull doo-doo! :)~ i'm not mocking you penny, just having a ridiculous day here.
  
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  by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
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by gone on February 1st, 2007
I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead.
Comments
- okay, that's just a joke; nobody really used that one me thinks.
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- I joke with my BF sometimes (Because I play alot of MMO's and one character type is a healer- they have the ability to resurrect dead characters) that I'm going to call in dead, but I'll be in tomorrow, if I can find a "Rez".
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
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by Penny The Wise on February 1st, 2007
"I'm having vision problems this morning. Yes, I just can't see myself coming to work today"
No I never tried it, but a friend once told me to use it.
Comments
- lol gud one :)
  
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  by pagan-babe on February 1st, 2007
- That is too funny. I think I'd even laugh as a boss!
  
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  by I love my baby on May 21st, 2007
- LOL0 That's good. MY boss wouldn't! :)
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- but........ it is too funny not to laugh. vision problems, "i can't see myself comming to work"
  oh my gosh I can't imagine someone having the guts too say it, if they had the guts, I'd laugh.
  
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  by I love my baby on May 21st, 2007
- Hahaha true.
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 22nd, 2007
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by ProudPugParent on February 1st, 2007
I didn't have any clean clothes.
Comments
- thats funny. lol.
  
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  by caitlin_28 on February 1st, 2007
- i've almost used this one... i really didn't have any good clean work clothes, but what a sh***y excuse!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by staffie on February 1st, 2007
ive not had any sleep
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by justme32 loves the weekends on February 1st, 2007
My cat is sick.
Comments
- Lol did you get away with it lol
  
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  by pagan-babe on February 1st, 2007
- I didnt use it and no they didnt get away with it. When they came into work the next day they were sent right back home.
  
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  by justme32 loves the weekends on February 1st, 2007
- That is actually not a bad excuse, If one of my animals was sick and I had to take them to the vet, I would call in. animals are like their children to some people.
  
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  by glamorgirli on February 1st, 2007
- I think that is a good reason (not excuse) to miss work.
  
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  by AntigoneRising on February 1st, 2007
- I missed school once because my cat was hit by a car.
  
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  by justme32 loves the weekends on February 1st, 2007
- I would, too.
  
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  by AntigoneRising on February 1st, 2007
- I called out of work two days in a row when my dog was sick...he was just a pup and he had diarrhea and vomiting. To me, he's like a kid: part of the family, important to me, and in need of care when he's ill. :)
  
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  by JenTFA on May 11th, 2007
- I missed work when my dog passed away, because my boss insisted I go home because he knew what I was going through, as he had lost his dog just a few months beforehand. This was a couple years ago.
  
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  by mistje on August 14th, 2008
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by LeMeThink on February 1st, 2007
My son lost his first tooth.
Comments
- that's pathetic!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by Valparaiso on February 10th, 2007
The national title game was being played that night. And even though they would be well off of work by the time that came on, they needed to "prepare" for it.

*Used by the United States Congress

Can you remind me what we pay these people for, I mean honestly.
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by jtolb65 on May 2nd, 2007
One of my employees called me to tell me he had been "severely burned" in a fire.
I was curious how severely if he's talking to me on the phone...and I can hear music in the background.
After several minutes of back-and-forth, I was able to get him to tell me the truth. He was getting dressed for work and he dropped his cigarette into his lap (while naked) and he got a blister on his d*ck.
I told him he wasn't going to be using it today anyway, so he might as well come in.
Comments
- lol Could you imagine him coming into work the next day, especially if everyone is thinking he should have gone into the hospital, and him looking 100%... *shakes head*
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
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by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
being too drunk to work!

yes, this one was actually used. a couple of my friends had spent the afternoon drinking; one of them was supposed to work later on. she realized she was too drunk to call in with an excuse to try and get out of work, so she asked the other girl to call. unfortunately, she didn't tell the other girl what to say, so she just told the manager that my friend was too drunk to work! uh, that was NOT the excuse that she was supposed to use, but then again, nobody had suggested a halfway decent lie that might have worked. plus, she was also pretty drunk!
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by anonymous on February 10th, 2007
my socks didnt match
i thought i didnt have to come in today
i told you i was going to be sick
Comments
- my socks didn't match? lol! i come into work without socks sometimes - if that's what it takes. (i forgot to wash them sometimes.)
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by staffie on February 10th, 2007
ive not had any sleep. that is the truth aswell
Comments
- A girl at my partners work said she had "sprained her legs dancing" ???!!!
  
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  by Anonymous on February 10th, 2007
- Tani, that made me laugh...
  
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  by Indigo- in the library with the revolver on April 17th, 2007
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by Biggie15 on February 1st, 2007
'I didn't feel like coming in to work today'.

Well, it's a pretty straight to the point excuse, but who in their right mind would tell their boss that?
Comments
- this person was in their left mind. haha. i crack me up.
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by Cowboy-Matter of Fact on May 2nd, 2007
We had someone call in and say he could not come to work because he cut his toenails to the quick and it hurt too much to walk.
Comments
- That has to be in the top stupidest excuses ever.
  
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  by Capt. Jack Sparrow GALCIY on May 4th, 2007
- Wow. I'd put it in the top 5!
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- Probably healed by the next day right?
  
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  by I love my baby on May 21st, 2007
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by Lee-san on May 2nd, 2007
I was once told they weren't coming in for work because their garden needed watering.
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by Nitroduck on April 13th, 2007
No kidding!

"I ran over a squirrel, and my tire got punctured on a rib bone"..

and

"My psychic advisor said that something bad was going to happen to me if I travelled." (this was back in the early 90's when the Dionne Warwick thing was hot)..
Comments
- Heh-- this reminds me, someone I know couldn't come to school because he accidentally hit a dog and it ruined the front of his car (some part of it broke).
  
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  by Indigo- in the library with the revolver on April 17th, 2007
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by Anonymous on April 4th, 2007
The ghosts in my house kept me up all night.

My child got stuck in wet concrete.
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by mytwocents on April 4th, 2007
mouse in the house, scared to move or go anywhere for fear it would attack me and leave me lifeless.
Comments
- BUAHAHAHAHA
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
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by R U Sirius on March 26th, 2007
Calling in sick and then the boss came to work, popped in a video of the employee at a baseball game with his shirt off getting a tan.

The funny part was the act the guy put on with his voice when he called in that morning.
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by Halskiisaklink on February 12th, 2007
The Liberal Party just got voted back in. I'm too depressed to go to work.
Comments
- wait a minute, i thought i was too depressed to work after "dubya" got not just elected, but re-elected!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by raggydolly on February 10th, 2007
my fiancee fell in the shower she hurt her leg & is concussed
(my fiance used this so he could stay home to watch the football)
Comments
- concussed? do you mean confused? or has a concussion?
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- You know, concussed. Has a concussion. It's a proper term.
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- i'm sooooo looking this up in the dictionary!
  
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  by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
- the online dictionary begs to differ.
  
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  by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
- Really? I stand corrected. *bows to MZ* :) I thought it was, because my bf's mom who is a nurse, uses it! Thanks MZ!
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- maybe she knows more than me (or the particular dictionary i used). not, that i mind bowing...
  
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  by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
- at least bowing directed towards me!
  
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  by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
- Are you a nurse MZ? Cool. I heart nurses. So under appreciated. Oi. SO under appreciated. Anyway, don't get me started!
  At least... I *thought* I heard her say it... Hmmm... It could all be in my mind! Someone call psych...
  :P
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- i am very far from a nurse; i am not even in the medical field! someone very likely could have said it and i don't know if they would have been wrong or not!
  
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  by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
- Ah! lol Well then.. *shrug* I still *think* it was her, but I could have just made that up... Anyway, I thought it was a word, and I stand corrected.
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
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by Anonymous on February 10th, 2007
I'm allergic to keyboards. LOL
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by Dieall on February 10th, 2007
I have a large gaping wound in my head and need hospitalization...
Comments
- that sounds like a decent excuse!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by Tamilze on February 10th, 2007
"I have blood in my pee."
Comments
- yeah, this also seems legit. unless... okay, i'll leave that thought to myself. internal bleeding is to be taken seriously though!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by tamarakh is ready for a vacation on February 10th, 2007
"My knee hurts."

We sat at desks all day. Seriously.
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by leighialove on February 1st, 2007
i dont work because i'm only 15 but at school one girl didn't come because she got a pimple and another one didn't come because she had to go get a hair cut, and another girl didn't come because she had to get her nails done for homecoming.
Comments
- thanks for reminding me how stupid some kidz can be in high skoool!
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
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by timetogetserious on February 1st, 2007
I have a hangover.
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by Zack on May 25th, 2008
My dog ate my bus pass.
Comments
- now that gives me an idea! lol!! :)
  
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  by Gabstar on May 26th, 2008
- Hello Gabby.
  
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  by Zack on May 26th, 2008
- hello zack :)
  
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  by Gabstar on May 26th, 2008
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by rigby on December 21st, 2007
i had an ex bf who told his boss his mother died - THREE times -
Comments
- Lol thats funny but is she alive?
  
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  by pagan-babe on December 22nd, 2007
- she was at the time (5 yrs ago) and she was sure suprised to hear she had passed away - and i recently heard he used the excuse his dad died - and i dont think that old man passed away either - my ex bf is an alcoholic who is still practicing - he cant hold a job and has been married 5 times
  
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  by rigby on December 24th, 2007
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by .avallach on May 8th, 2007
I'm sure it's perfectly valid but funny: there's a guy who works here who's an ex Marine. He still acts just like a marine. Big tough guy. He was out the other day and we were wondering why. Turns out he woke up that morning, sneezed, and threw his back out.
Comments
- Wow, what a powerful sneeze!
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- Its no lie I have done that too.
  
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  by rabid on February 1st, 2011
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by BeamnD on April 13th, 2007
It was not just to take a whole week off to supposedly go to a funeral - out of the country: the woman lost her estranged Dad (whom she literally spoke of with hatred), took the bereavement leave and extra time off to have fun on a trip but played the role of the bereaved daughter when she came back to work...
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by I love my baby on March 29th, 2007
My Sister has to have one of the sorriest ones Ive heard!
I Needed some help with a job that I had a deadline to meet.
I Offered to pay her 7.00 an hour
( this was about 8 years ago)she was unemployed.
She said, I would
I really would
I want to
But.... I need to go get help getting my light bill paid!
OH MY Gosh! All I could do was Look at Her and say Okay I gotta go get it done,
I drove off wandering if I really heard her right!
Comments
- So she wouldn't do any work for you because she needed money to get her light bill payed? Wow. :/
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
- yeah. I left in a "wow" state of mind.
  
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  by I love my baby on May 21st, 2007
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by 8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009 on March 26th, 2007
Anal glaucoma - couldn't see their ass coming to work.
Comments
- rofl...I'm adding that to my list.
  
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  by JenTFA on May 11th, 2007
- LMFAO I had to share that with my BF, that one's pretty funny.
  
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  by Penny The Wise on May 21st, 2007
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by Shunyata on February 1st, 2011
could not find my socks
Comments
- OMG .. NO! That would be catastrophic.
  
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  by Over and Out on February 1st, 2011
- I've had things in such a shambles, honestly, that there've been times I could have used that one honestly, but I made due.
  
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  by Lucindaoffthecuff on February 1st, 2011
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by Dippy_85 on June 20th, 2007
This guy fell in a puddle in the parking lot and had to go home.. not kidding
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by saint nist on May 21st, 2007
Being drunk...
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by PerfectlyPink on February 10th, 2007
A girl called in sick last weekend saying her fire alarm had gone off all night and she was tired so when was going to be late, she then proceeded to not show up for wirk that day. The backgroud was the day before she told us that she was going to a friends party so she wanted to get off work early and then told the manager she had to get to the bank before it closed (mean while it was 9pm and the banks are all closed)

So yes she had a hangover and got caught in multiple lies.
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by gothique on February 3rd, 2007
one of my co-workers told me they told our boss that the reason they couldnt come in to work was because they accidentally super glued their butt to their chair.....pretty lame....lol...
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by Berenise on February 1st, 2007
I ran out of gas on the way!!!!!

there was a flood on my apartment!!!!

i thought today was saturday!!!!

Someone close to me just died!!!!

wow, so lame...and to think i actually used one of these.....im not telling which one.
Comments
- i bet i can guess which one it was - #4.
  
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  by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007
- why do you think it was this one? :-)
  
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  by Berenise on March 26th, 2007
- because that one seems like the worst one to have to admit to have lying about. that's lying about more serious matters. if you lied about the day of the week, that's not such a big deal.
  
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  by zee-ster on March 28th, 2007
- hey, the flood thing has happened to me before. lol
  
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  by mistje on August 14th, 2008
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by J and B on February 1st, 2011
I knew a girl who was so upset about Elvis dying that she had to go home from work.
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- hhaaahah
  
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  by Simply Pengu on February 1st, 2011
- My mother was a homemaker, but she said she fell to the floor and wept at the news.
  
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  by Lucindaoffthecuff on February 1st, 2011
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by I'm a ginger on June 15th, 2008
I broke my toenail..and i am afraid it will get infected...

No joke, one of my coworkers, broke her toenail up past the quick(sic) and since we do a lot of toileting needs and hygeine based work, she was afraid she would get something in her toenail..
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by Anonymous on May 23rd, 2008
'I'm too tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired to come to work today" and he wanted someone to tell his boss he won't be in. (left in the form of a voicemail by someone in a senior position and happened many times)
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