by pagan-babe on February 1st, 2007

pagan-babe

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Whats the worse excuse youv heard for taking a day off work?

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  • by Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin on February 10th, 2007

    Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin

    That there was a sniper in his neighborhood and he didn't feel safe leaving for work.

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  • by Simply msFortunate on February 1st, 2007

    Simply msFortunate

    This may seem insensitive, but I used to work for a staffing service, so I've heard them all.

    An employee, notorious for not showing up to any of his scheduled shifts, called in a few times in one week. The first day, he had been up vomiting all night. The next, he fell up the stairs by slipping on one of those stair grip things that is supposed to help you maintain traction when climbing steps. The final straw was when he called, said, "My best friend and my aunt and my friend's mom all died this week. Everyone's dying. I'm so sad. I can't go to work."

    ARGH!

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  • by Patti jo on February 10th, 2007

    Patti jo

    That my car wouldn't start and then the boss shows up to start it - BUSTED

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  • by Ausbabe on February 1st, 2007

    Ausbabe

    "I think my wife's cheating on me so I need to hide at home to try and catch her..."

    (an excuse I heard a teaching colleague give before hanging up)

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  • by anonymous on February 10th, 2007

    anonymous

    My friend once phoned in work and said that she couldn't get out of her flat, the door had broke and she had to wait for the repair man to come and fix it before she could get out.

    A couple of funny ones:

    "I'm finding that the job is interfering with my drinking."

    "I thought I wanted a job, but it just turns out I want the money."

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  • by AntigoneRising on February 1st, 2007

    AntigoneRising

    Unless it is sick leave, I do not know (nor do I care) why my coworkers do not come to work. They take a personal day, it is theirs, and their use of it isn't my business. It certainly isn't my place to judge it.

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  • by abzilla on February 10th, 2007

    abzilla

    my arm won't quit twitching

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  • by unforgiven017 on February 10th, 2007

    unforgiven017

    This is the best one I've heard. "My boyfriend bought me a bunny rabbit, but I can't give it the love that it needs. I have to go return it to the store."

    She was crying hysterically the entire time.

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  • by Anonymous on February 10th, 2007

    Anonymous

    This co-worker called and left this message on a voicemail:

    "I am on vacation in the Bahamas. while scuba diving, i broke my ankle and will not be in to work for several months".

    How do you break your ankle while scuba diving?

    He lost his job.

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  • by gone on February 1st, 2007

    gone

    I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

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  • by Penny The Wise on February 1st, 2007

    Penny The Wise

    "I'm having vision problems this morning. Yes, I just can't see myself coming to work today"
    No I never tried it, but a friend once told me to use it.

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  • by ProudPugParent on February 1st, 2007

    ProudPugParent

    I didn't have any clean clothes.

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  • by staffie on February 1st, 2007

    staffie

    ive not had any sleep

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  • by justme32 loves the weekends on February 1st, 2007

    justme32 loves the weekends

    My cat is sick.

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  • by LeMeThink on February 1st, 2007

    LeMeThink

    My son lost his first tooth.

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  • by Valparaiso on February 10th, 2007

    Valparaiso

    The national title game was being played that night. And even though they would be well off of work by the time that came on, they needed to "prepare" for it.

    *Used by the United States Congress

    Can you remind me what we pay these people for, I mean honestly.

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  • by jtolb65 on May 2nd, 2007

    jtolb65

    One of my employees called me to tell me he had been "severely burned" in a fire.
    I was curious how severely if he's talking to me on the phone...and I can hear music in the background.
    After several minutes of back-and-forth, I was able to get him to tell me the truth. He was getting dressed for work and he dropped his cigarette into his lap (while naked) and he got a blister on his d*ck.
    I told him he wasn't going to be using it today anyway, so he might as well come in.

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  • by zee-ster on March 26th, 2007

    zee-ster

    being too drunk to work!

    yes, this one was actually used. a couple of my friends had spent the afternoon drinking; one of them was supposed to work later on. she realized she was too drunk to call in with an excuse to try and get out of work, so she asked the other girl to call. unfortunately, she didn't tell the other girl what to say, so she just told the manager that my friend was too drunk to work! uh, that was NOT the excuse that she was supposed to use, but then again, nobody had suggested a halfway decent lie that might have worked. plus, she was also pretty drunk!

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  • by anonymous on February 10th, 2007

    anonymous

    my socks didnt match
    i thought i didnt have to come in today
    i told you i was going to be sick

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  • by staffie on February 10th, 2007

    staffie

    ive not had any sleep. that is the truth aswell

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  • by Biggie15 on February 1st, 2007

    Biggie15

    'I didn't feel like coming in to work today'.

    Well, it's a pretty straight to the point excuse, but who in their right mind would tell their boss that?

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  • by Cowboy-Matter of Fact on May 2nd, 2007

    Cowboy-Matter of Fact

    We had someone call in and say he could not come to work because he cut his toenails to the quick and it hurt too much to walk.

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  • by Lee-san on May 2nd, 2007

    Lee-san

    I was once told they weren't coming in for work because their garden needed watering.

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  • by Nitroduck on April 13th, 2007

    Nitroduck

    No kidding!

    "I ran over a squirrel, and my tire got punctured on a rib bone"..

    and

    "My psychic advisor said that something bad was going to happen to me if I travelled." (this was back in the early 90's when the Dionne Warwick thing was hot)..

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  • by Anonymous on April 4th, 2007

    Anonymous

    The ghosts in my house kept me up all night.

    My child got stuck in wet concrete.

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  • by mytwocents on April 4th, 2007

    mytwocents

    mouse in the house, scared to move or go anywhere for fear it would attack me and leave me lifeless.

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  • by R U Sirius on March 26th, 2007

    R U Sirius

    Calling in sick and then the boss came to work, popped in a video of the employee at a baseball game with his shirt off getting a tan.

    The funny part was the act the guy put on with his voice when he called in that morning.

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  • by Halskiisaklink on February 12th, 2007

    Halskiisaklink

    The Liberal Party just got voted back in. I'm too depressed to go to work.

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  • by raggydolly on February 10th, 2007

    raggydolly

    my fiancee fell in the shower she hurt her leg & is concussed
    (my fiance used this so he could stay home to watch the football)

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  • by Anonymous on February 10th, 2007

    Anonymous

    I'm allergic to keyboards. LOL

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  • by Dieall on February 10th, 2007

    Dieall

    I have a large gaping wound in my head and need hospitalization...

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  • by Tamilze on February 10th, 2007

    Tamilze

    "I have blood in my pee."

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  • by tamarakh is ready for a vacation on February 10th, 2007

    tamarakh is ready for a vacation

    "My knee hurts."

    We sat at desks all day. Seriously.

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  • by leighialove on February 1st, 2007

    leighialove

    i dont work because i'm only 15 but at school one girl didn't come because she got a pimple and another one didn't come because she had to go get a hair cut, and another girl didn't come because she had to get her nails done for homecoming.

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  • by timetogetserious on February 1st, 2007

    timetogetserious

    I have a hangover.

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  • by Zack on May 25th, 2008

    Zack

    My dog ate my bus pass.

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  • by rigby on December 21st, 2007

    rigby

    i had an ex bf who told his boss his mother died - THREE times -

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  • by .avallach on May 8th, 2007

    .avallach

    I'm sure it's perfectly valid but funny: there's a guy who works here who's an ex Marine. He still acts just like a marine. Big tough guy. He was out the other day and we were wondering why. Turns out he woke up that morning, sneezed, and threw his back out.

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  • by BeamnD on April 13th, 2007

    BeamnD

    It was not just to take a whole week off to supposedly go to a funeral - out of the country: the woman lost her estranged Dad (whom she literally spoke of with hatred), took the bereavement leave and extra time off to have fun on a trip but played the role of the bereaved daughter when she came back to work...

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  • by I love my baby on March 29th, 2007

    I love my baby

    My Sister has to have one of the sorriest ones Ive heard!
    I Needed some help with a job that I had a deadline to meet.
    I Offered to pay her 7.00 an hour
    ( this was about 8 years ago)she was unemployed.
    She said, I would
    I really would
    I want to
    But.... I need to go get help getting my light bill paid!
    OH MY Gosh! All I could do was Look at Her and say Okay I gotta go get it done,
    I drove off wandering if I really heard her right!

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  • by 8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009 on March 26th, 2007

    8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009

    Anal glaucoma - couldn't see their ass coming to work.

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  • by Shunyata on February 1st, 2011

    Shunyata

    could not find my socks

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  • by Dippy_85 on June 20th, 2007

    Dippy_85

    This guy fell in a puddle in the parking lot and had to go home.. not kidding

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  • by saint nist on May 21st, 2007

    saint nist

    Being drunk...

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  • by PerfectlyPink on February 10th, 2007

    PerfectlyPink

    A girl called in sick last weekend saying her fire alarm had gone off all night and she was tired so when was going to be late, she then proceeded to not show up for wirk that day. The backgroud was the day before she told us that she was going to a friends party so she wanted to get off work early and then told the manager she had to get to the bank before it closed (mean while it was 9pm and the banks are all closed)

    So yes she had a hangover and got caught in multiple lies.

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  • by gothique on February 3rd, 2007

    gothique

    one of my co-workers told me they told our boss that the reason they couldnt come in to work was because they accidentally super glued their butt to their chair.....pretty lame....lol...

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  • by Berenise on February 1st, 2007

    Berenise

    I ran out of gas on the way!!!!!

    there was a flood on my apartment!!!!

    i thought today was saturday!!!!

    Someone close to me just died!!!!

    wow, so lame...and to think i actually used one of these.....im not telling which one.

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  • by J and B on February 1st, 2011

    J and B

    I knew a girl who was so upset about Elvis dying that she had to go home from work.

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  • by I'm a ginger on June 15th, 2008

    I'm a ginger

    I broke my toenail..and i am afraid it will get infected...

    No joke, one of my coworkers, broke her toenail up past the quick(sic) and since we do a lot of toileting needs and hygeine based work, she was afraid she would get something in her toenail..

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  • by Anonymous on May 23rd, 2008

    Anonymous

    'I'm too tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired to come to work today" and he wanted someone to tell his boss he won't be in. (left in the form of a voicemail by someone in a senior position and happened many times)

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You're reading Whats the worse excuse youv heard for taking a day off work? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • What is the silliest excuse you have used or heard for an absence from work?
  • What is the most ridiculous excuse you've ever heard for missing work, school, or some other event?

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