ANSWERS: 34
  • I will react that your daughter is not lesbian/gay.
  • lock the doors and windows, wait at the foot of the stairs with a baseball bat, when he comes down say, '' you didnt leave, now you cant leave. ''
  • hmmm, dont worry, its natural. the more you worry the more you will push her away the more understanding you are the more likely the two of you are to bond and for her to feel comfortable telling you important things. i know you wana protect her but she is 23 she can look after herself! you cant hold her too tight as u may crush her. think of her like a butterfly. u dnt want her to fly away but u dnt want to kill her.
  • I would feel that my trust had been betrayed by my daughter and that I had personally had my home disrespected. I would make it clear that she no longer was allowed to bring dates into my home -- for any reason. If she wants a sleepover, she or he can pay for a hotel or go to his place. If she wants to host a dinner, she can do so at a restaurant or his place. It's simple common courtesy
  • She's 23 years old. This is her business, even though it's under 'your roof'. What the hell, you should be happy for her that she had a good time.
  • Someone didn't instill all the values and morals one thought. Sorry mom, that's gotta hurt.
  • While your daughter is an adult, I think the respectful thing for her to do was ask if it was okay to have this person spend the night. I would have done that whether it was a date or not. It's your home so you get to make the rules.
  • well... she's 23 i think there's nothing wrong with it. but if you have a problem it IS your house, and you should let her know that you don't want this happening in the future. ignorance is bliss.
  • Welcome to the family!!
  • After 23 years of your upbringing, if she knew that such would have clearly upset you, but went ahead a did it anyway, then, she was being disrepectful. It would be incumbent on you to sit down and have a talk with her about it, asking/telling her that she not do that again. There's to be no debate about it...it's your home.
  • This is your own fault because you permit your 23 year old daughter to make the rules in your home! Tell if she wants to whore around to get her own place to live like a slut!
  • I feel that many parents run into this when they allow their adult children to live at home. She needs to understand that as long as she is living at home, she needs to respect your rules. You can talk with her without berating her and commenting on her morals. It doesn't need to be a full blown attack. Just be sure that she is clear on your rules and that men sleeping over is unacceptable, or that she will check with you before such events. Perhaps, this will be the motivation she needs to move out. :0
  • Sometimes children, especially adult children living at home, begin to feel as if the house is their house. If that type of behavior is abhorrent to you, perhaps you should remind your daughter whose house it is and who determines the rules governing the house.
  • My first reaction would probably be shock and upset. I think mostly because I think she should have asked if it was OK. She is 23 and not 16 but having said that it is your home. I think I would have a quiet word with her and say that in future she should ask about having friends stop over. I always told my children that I didn't mind within reason what they did so long as I knew where they were going, who with, what time they would be home. Likewise, they always asked if it was ok to have a friend to stay overnight. It is only manner, after all what if you bumped into an unknown houseguest in the middle of the night on the way to the loo? Very embarrassing. You definitely should have been asked.
  • My boyfriend was my ex boyfriend at a time. I left him because I was very insecure. After that relationship another man raped me. I`m not looking for pity and don`t deserve it so don`t take me wrong here. My parents loved the guy I was with in high school. He is very religious and he never betrayed his or my beliefs the first time we dated, which was almost a year. My parents trust him and me because we have showing them they can trust us. When we are in my bedroom the door is always open and, since it is their house, they obviously know they`re welcome any time. My mother definitely takes that as I said it. She wonders through the house through the night to make sure we`re sleeping. We haven`t disobeyed anyone`s beliefs.
  • Did she know that you would not be okay with her having him stay over?
  • It sounds to me like you need to talk to your daughter, and if this bothers you than she needed to know this before her date. This is one of those things that needs to be discussed so that there is no confusion between either you or your daughter. You need to keep in mind that she is an adult, and if she would have known that it would have bothered you than they may have gone somewhere else and spent the night.
  • you mean you haven't discussed this possibility with your daughter yet? she's a grown woman, talk to her.
  • How did you react? Were you concerned about the fact that they were probably having sex, or that it was rude of her to let the guy stay over without asking? I know people who, at 23, are married, living in their own homes and have 3 children. 23 is not young, I think you should perhaps give her some freedom and respect her as an adult, if she does things that bother you, maybe its time for her to move out and find her own place.
  • She's 23! At that age I was two years married and my wife (two years younger) and I had our first "bun" in the oven. If she is still living at home then I can see nothing wrong with it. If she was over for a visit then she probably should have asked before inviting him to stay. My reaction would probably been one of pride. That I had raised a daughter that felt comfortable enough around me to reveal intimate parts of her life to me without being worried that I would freak-out. Hope this helps.
  • I wouldnt. Shes 23 and in charge of her life. Whats the big deal if they had nookie on the third date ?
  • Tough one, she is your child and she is an adult. I would think that you have rules already established in your household, but from your question, I wonder if this has ever even been discussed with her. If it has been talked about, then what did you tell her the consequenses would be? If not, then it time to have that talk with her, what is it that you want from her?
  • I'd be abit annoyed. If she had wanted or intended for him to stay she should have asked you first. Ok she's perfectly old enough to be making her own decisions but it's your house & a little common courtesy wouldn't go amiss.
  • 23, I would be happy that she wasn't 16. I am 23 and married with 2 children. Just think about it, she may love this man and move out soon ;).
  • Personally....in my home....none of my 5 children have been allowed to disrepect our home in that way. If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend over....there is a rule that says no sleeping over. If there is a huge snow storm with all the roads closed....then yes maybe but that person would sleep in one room and my child in another. If they are married and visiting they can then sleep in the same bed here in my home. It is just called respect and self-control.
  • well ask her what happened. they could have fallen asleep whilst watching a film. if you had gone to bed maybe she didnt want to wake you or dusturb you to ask if he could stay, and as shes now an adult it seems silly to ask. prehaps she just assumed it'll be ok. talk to her about and and tell her in future youd like to be asked or for it to be talked about before it happens again
  • What are you saying? He left without his shoes? Or he's in the same bed with your daughter? If you're saying he went to bed with your daughter, and this is not acceptable to you for whatever your reasons, then you did NOT make this clear to your daughter before hand. Your house, your rules. It is your responsibility to make sure that those who enter your domain know what is expected (and NOT expected) of them.
  • I would tell her that she is not to have guys stay overnight in my home. That is total disrespect for you and for your home. If she wants guys to stay then she needs to move out of your house.
  • that was very disrespectful of her and I would address this asap. This indicates to me that there are some boundaries that need to be established and discussed. good luck.
  • Not very well as if she is in your house that is disrespectful. If she wants to do what that is implying then she should do that at his house or at least not in yours. i'd tell her that I was disappointed and that i feel as though she has disrespected my home.
  • 23? That's her choice. She should thank me for volunteering to stay out of the way, but that's about it.
  • You know where his shoes are, do you know where he is? I wouldn't get too upset about it since she is an adult. I would just discuss if this is OK for her to do. Better than a sleazy motel or hotel don't you think? The third date thing doesn't bother me since things move a lot faster than when I was a kid. And at age 23, third date was OK if everything was clicking? It's been almost 50 years since I was 23.
  • She's 23 and an adult now, so she can make her own decisions. Would you rather her have him stay there, or drive down a back country road where they could have a wreck or be accosted by a prowler? Be glad that they were safe at home. If the sleepover bothers you that much, tell her that you'd like advance notice next time she plans to have someone stay over.
  • having a daughter, i would put his shoes in the fireplace after i broke his legs

Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy