You have a home health aid. Every few days when she doesn't want to do what you ask her to do, she yells at you, degrades you & then gives you the silent treatment. What do you do? There are no other aides available and you need the help.

Can the two of you sit down and discuss it at a time when she isn't feeling resentful? Does she think you are too demanding? Does she think you expect too much of her? Does she think you are unappreciative? Also you need to let her know that she is being paid to perform a particular job, and it will go a lot better for both of you if she does it cheerfully and respectfully. Let her know you appreciate what she does. Ask her why she sometimes resents certain duties and if there may be some way to improve the situation.

Maybe this aide has problems of his/her own and needs some help along their pathway of life. Either you can try to offer to be that help or suggest some local resources where that help might be available.
The issues here may not be "with you" and your situation....it could be something like problems from home. Try to help if you can and maybe your situation will improve too!

(long answer)
You know, I think, that I see room for improvement all the way around the block on this issue. I see you've gotten answers from four others already, but think I'll throw my two cents worth in as well.

-- Whenever I see or hear of "bad behavior" as you're talking about, I want to pull out my sword, put on some armor and go take "someone" to task to "right the wrongs".

But as you know, trying to live at home independently, with external supportive services, is not a simple thing. There are many sides to take a look at.

-- For your example, we can all readily say "hey - that's not ok" re: the behavior. But I have lots and lots of questions I'd want answered before moving to any kind of brainstorming for solutions.

Here are some of the questions - just to get a better idea of what's going on:
---- Do you live by yourself? And in what kind of situation? At your home? In a Senior complex? In a nursing home? What, exactly?
---- There are many different kinds of home health aides. What kind do you have? This question also goes to what you need help "for". Is it housekeeping and cleaning? Is it transportation to dr appts? Is it grocery shoppping (you make they list - they go get it)? Is it cooking? Personal help like taking a bath or dressing? Doing chores like making the bed, doing laundary, etc?
---- How many hours per week do you have help coming to you? One day a week or more than that? How many hours in each visit?

All that just to see where on the scale you are in terms of finding/getting help so you can carry on.

Now here's a big one for you. Who's paying for it - and how / where are you finding the people? Do you find and interview the aides - then pay - all directly yourself? Or, is there a social worker or case manager or "someone" .. who's done a professional evaluation .. determined eligibility .. decided and approved numbers of hours .. contracted with local agencies .. and you get whoever they happen to send?

Answers there can make a big difference on what your options are .. to select .. or even if you don't, but it's not working .. what the process is to complain and get changes made.

In all ... documentation will be important. Start a log or journal listing the date, what happened or was said, etc. Also take a very calm look at your own behavior too. Are you in a lot of pain - or so upset about the way you're being treated - that you turn around and are yelling as well - out of sheer frustration or hurt?

It's actually a lot of "work" to PREPARE for a home health aide to come. Often it's best to come up with a ROUTINE .. a way of working together that's "safe" adn "ok" for both of you. Maybe you always have a list written out and she knows to just go down the list. There's bound to be some give and take on "how" things are done too = but can talk about those up front.

But in all - attitude is key - in both directions.

Oh - and another question. Sometimes instead of one person with lots of hours - you get three people who each come at different times. How is it for you?

How long has this "awful one" been coming?

I'll stop asking stuff now. But between my own disability issues and those of my 82 year old mother, let's just say .. "been there".

If you feel comfortable answering any of the above, we could perhaps do a little brainstorming. If not (and I'd understand that too. This is all pretty personal stuff), at least it gives you a few things to think over and look at about where you are - what you really need - who's paying - how to manage and helpers you get - then maybe move to ways to make it work more smoothly and CERTAINLY with respect and dignity for all.

Hope that helps. (Should I still put on my armor and grab that sword???)

Why don't you just hire a maid or a housekeeper and dump the chump. And, make sure she gets a really bad reference letter sent to her employee.

It sounds like you are absolutely stuck.

Given that, you have no choice but to work it out for your own peace.

I would suggest referring to Lyn's and Yhtomitzlots's answers. I cannot come up with anything to top either of those.