What's your best dirty joke?

A man sitting at a bar is really hang-dog. The bartender asks him whats wrong. "My wife just got diagnosed with cancer. I-I just don't know what to do" Seeing the man's distress, the barkeep says "I know how to cure her, but you won't beleive me". "I'll listen to anything" said the man. "I'm telling you, you'll get pissed & won't believe it". "Please, I'm begging you!" "Ok" said the bartender. "What you have to do is go down on your wife every day for 30 days & she'll be cured." "You asshole! What a bunch of shit!" the man said as he stormed our of the bar. But as the days grew into weeks and his wife's condition worsened, he decided that any action was better than none, so he began to follow the bartender's advice and give his wife oral sex every day. 5 weeks later, the man & his wife were at the doctor's office to discuss her latest test results. "Folks" the doctor said, "I have no explanation for this, but we can't find any cancer". "You mean I'm in remission?" asked the wife. "No. I mean you're cancer free." with that the man's wife lept to her feet & let out a yell, her heart overflowing with joy. She turned to embrace her husband, only to find him slumped in his chair, head in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably. "What's wrong, honey? I'm cancer free!". The man slowly looked up at her, sobbing and said "I could have saved my Mother!!"

Difference between kinky and preverted If your kinky you use a feather if your perverted you use the whole chicken

How can you tell a womans is faking an orgasm?

Who cares?

A couple, about to be married, are talking one day. She says,Darling, I have to tell you my breasts are only as big as a twelve year old girl. No worries,he tells her but, my willy is the same as a new born baby. Oh, that will be OK she says. They get married, go up into the suite in the hotel. She goes to the bathroom to change, he strips off in the bedroom. When she comes back, she gives a scream and passes out. He finally wakes her, what's wrong? She answers. You told me your willy is the same as a new born baby. It is he says, 7 pound 10 onces and seventeen inches long.

(Ask this of a woman.) Do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blowjob?

When she answers, "No," pause for a beat ... then ...


"Do you have any plans for lunch?"

Pray for me ! It's been awhile,,

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest
beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my
mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limit, and
I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it
through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The
official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you
have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but
which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

A pig feel into a mud puddle.

Wow, uh let me think for a few and get back to ya, on that one.

i waz nervus at furst... it waz big n long... n went straight-up... i had to try it... i eazed maslf on-to it... i likd it... i went up-n-down on it... hel!!!...

...i luv escalatorz nw!!!...


he he... :P... peace!!!

why did the chicken cross the road?

to have sex!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!