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by ... on January 28th, 2007

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I'm a guy married for 28 years and would still like to think I'm physically desirable. All I hear is I'm old, gray & getting wrinkles. Am I being too vain? Can make a guy feel pretty worthless. Maybe I'm going through the mid life crisis?

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Answers. 17 helpful answers below.

  • by romelang1 on January 28th, 2007

    romelang1

    How rude! Ageing is unavoidable, so just remind whoever is hanging it on you that they're not as hot as they used to be either! You're not being vain and probably not going through a midlife crisis either - if it is your wife reminding you about the grey hair and wrinkles, think how she'd react if you said the same thing to her! She would be spewing. I think it's just plain rude of them to harp on about what is an unavoidable situation.

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  • by Anonymous on October 30th, 2007

    Anonymous

    All I can say is that in hindsight I now realise I spent WAY too much time trying to impress the Ladies with my looks when all along they would have loved me much more for my genuine and sincere personality...
    'Vanity -all is Vanity" : )
    Getting 'Old' sucks only when it is made 'sucky' by other people....as in being turned down for a job because of chronological age etc etc etc.
    Otherwise, I find it merely a change in my personal circumstances and like any other circumstances I have to figure out how to live with it at least and make it work for me at best : )

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  • by Galeanda on October 30th, 2007

    Galeanda

    Is this your wife that is saying these things? If not, who cares what others think. I've been married to my guy for 34 years and no he doesn't look like he did when he was 18 or even 23 when I married him. I don't care. He's balder, grayer, hairy-er, overweight. He's still the most gorgeous man in my eyes because I love him. And I think it actually starts by how HE feels about himself. If he started feeling sorry for himself and getting a loss of self-confidence, then maybe I would start seeing those things about him but he has never let aging to get him down. Age is from the inside, not what you see in the mirror. Try changing how YOU see yourself and maybe it won't bother you so much.

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  • by Account Closed on October 30th, 2007

    Account Closed

    I can relate with what you are going through, because I myself have faced this situation before. Truth is your aging and there is nothing you can do to stop it but that does not mean it in itself is a bad thing. No your most likely will not turn many 20 somethings heads any more but you can have respect. With age can bring on wisdom that those who may have been attractive to your looks at one time will look to you in a different light now. That feeling of worthlessness will fade when you realize you have stepped through the next stage of life and willing to embrace that now you have something more valuable to offer then attraction to others. And that my friend is something only age can give and that is Wisdom.

    Many will disagree and say wisdom isn't age related but they are wrong and do not fully understand what wisdom is but you my friend do. It is the ability to know how to control and hand out knowledge.

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  • by staffie on January 28th, 2007

    staffie

    Signs and Symptoms of Midlife Crisis
    How to know he is facing midlife crisis?

    It seems that you are always fighting
    He just doesn't act like himself anymore
    He doesn't like his job
    He wants to sell the house and get a little place in the mountains or sail to the islands
    He doesn't like being home
    He wants a sportier car
    He changes his hairstyle, starts a diet and joins the local gym
    He says you and he have grown apart
    He needs time to think about 'things'
    He loves you but he isn't in love with you
    He needs space
    He wants something but he doesn't know what

    http://www.love-lectures.com/articles/male_midlife_crisis.html

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  • by Stick it!! on August 16th, 2008

    Stick it!!

    Sounds like you two are ready for a second honeymoon.
    Plan a romantic getaway, do something different, step out of your comfort zone.

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  • by numbnuts on October 30th, 2007

    numbnuts

    I was married for 28 years also and
    my ex made me belive some of that stuff,
    but, now my girlfriend makes me feel
    like I am 30 or younger. You gotta
    be happy with yourself first. If YOU
    can put up with what you see in the mirror
    don't worry about what other folks say.

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  • by rigby on October 30th, 2007

    rigby

    why are you hanging with ppl that make you feel bad???

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  • by orsonwelles on September 27th, 2008

    orsonwelles

    Relax, my friend. We all get older but someone out there still thinks that you're pretty great. My wife is 17 years younger than me and still tells me that I'm sexy and I'm in my 60's. Who is saying all of this to you anyway? What do you think of yourself? If you need to make a change, make it.

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  • by Brian I on October 30th, 2007

    Brian I

    I'm a guy, married for 40 years and I AM physically desirable - to my wife, if to nobody else and that's all that matters.

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  • by The Wade on October 30th, 2007

    The Wade

    well for one, if you would work out and stuff(haha, unlike me), like running everyday and the like, you'll stay looking younger longer. And for another thing, when it comes to us guys, we honestly need complements every once and a while. Questions like this pop up every time you DON'T complement your guy like you should.

    So yeah dude, you're just fine the way God made you. You reap what you sow, so make sure you give your wife complements too... you just might get some back! ;)
    hope that helps!

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  • by Clementine on January 28th, 2007

    Clementine

    Maybe you just need to dye your hair or something and they will shut up! It's probably something very small that is irritating them, who knows. Maybe its a simple image thing. But don't worry about looking too old. Women find older looking guys can be attractive as long as the aging isnt a poofy stomach and white hair!

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  • by mrsticky005 on February 19th, 2010

    mrsticky005

    We all get ugly eventually. Deal with it.

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  • by Zhitbag on September 10th, 2008

    Zhitbag

    Sounds like after 28 years of marriage, YOU've become the woman. Just stop it. If you're old, gray, and wrinkled, just deal with it. The truth is exactly that.

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  • by JustCurious on October 30th, 2007

    JustCurious

    who is telling you you are old, gray and getting wrinkles? If it's your wife, is she not aging too? Maybe she is going thru the same feelings about herself.

    13 comments | Post one | Permalink

  • by tazzzz on November 12th, 2007

    tazzzz

    No, I think it's something in the air, all my guy friends are hitting the gymn and watching their diet.

    I personally am a bit twisted and prefer ruff non pretty men o.O

    As long as you good in bed I don't care.. I really don't. It's my twisted problem but maybe it can make you happy XD

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  • by ladyshakespeare on January 7th, 2010

    ladyshakespeare

    Im going through the same thing, but im only 35. my husband says im too old, too fat (im not overweight at all)He wont touch me, wont look at me, cheats constantly (becasue im too old for sex according to him) He actually believes that women reach their sexual peak at 18, and its all downhill from there.

    So, what im getting at is thst SHE probably has some delusions of her own and its NOT you! Youre not being too vain. She is just vocalizing her own misconcieved ideas. Hope it gets better for both of us.

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