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by godlypure on February 6th, 2009

godlypure

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I have a friend who is being abused and i promised i wouldn't tell any one. what should i do and this is middle school.

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Answers. 14 helpful answers below.

  • by Anonymous on February 6th, 2009

    Anonymous

    I was in the same situation but, I told my Mom and my friends mom(who was abusing her) got help. Everythings a lot better and my friend didn't care that i told.

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  • by Anonymous on February 6th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Well, I can't answer this very well because you haven't given us many details. Is your friend being abused by their parents? A boyfriend/girlfriend? A teacher?

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  • by shrinkess on February 6th, 2009

    shrinkess

    I think you should break your promise. Your friend's safety is at stake and that is the only reason I would ever break a promise, myself. Talk with your parents about what to do, but the likeliest person to help would be the school counselor. Ask your folks for advice first.

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  • by Eileen on February 8th, 2009

    Eileen

    See this is how I see it, if your friend wanted no one to know they simply would not have told anyone. By reaching out and telling you I think they are screaming inside "HELP ME PLEASE". Where it gets tricky is the promising not to tell anyone. However a promise to me is only valid in the event that no one is getting HURT. Your friend is hurting I see the promise as null. I rather have a person dislike knowing I did the right thing, then have a person like me for doing the wrong thing. I say go tell someone that you trust talk to them about this situation, give no names at first make sure you feel its the right person to talk this situation over with, I think your friend is a very lucky person to have someone like you in their life!
    Good luck with whatever you decide to do

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  • by BeenThereWillShare on February 8th, 2009

    BeenThereWillShare

    Look at your options: not tell anyone and the abuse continues. Is that what you want for your friend?

    Tell someone and your friend may be mad at you but also relieved that the abuse stops. Later on your friend will be glad you said something.

    Even if you lose the friendship, it is your responsibility to protect her from being hurt. How can you let her go on and on in this situation?

    Call Child Protective Services through your state "Department of Health and Human Services". They can arrange to talk to her. You don't need to get a whole bunch of people involved. Making her tell her story over and over again is going to scare her off. Don't add to the list of "people to tell". Child Protective Services are professionals.

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  • by ICU says April is Autism Awareness Mo. on February 8th, 2009

    ICU says April is Autism Awareness Mo.

    You are in a tough situation because she trusts you and you are her friend. I would tell your mom or dad and ask them to make an anonymous call to Child Protection Services. You don't have to give a name. The abuse must stop or she will carry this with her to adulthood and will also grow up to be an angry person some day. If she asks you, if you told, tell her you care about her and that you want to be sure that she is ok. Tell her you will always be her friend. She may or may not get angry with you. She may feel relieved to know that there is help. Please do something right away. No one deserves to be abused. If it is her parents that are abusing her, they need help and counseling. Good luck and take care.

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  • by Slothy on February 6th, 2009

    Slothy

    Tell. I've been in a situation like this, do not hide it. Tell your parents and they will help. Your friend and her family will get help that they desperately need.

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  • by ColoradoCarmen on February 6th, 2009

    ColoradoCarmen

    Secrets where no one is getting hurt are one thing. Keeping a secret about someone who is getting hurt is tricky. You need to talk to an adult you trust at your school or home. They will know what to do.

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  • by zetec144 on February 6th, 2009

    zetec144

    What an awful burden for you to handle, I was in a similar situation. Please tell someone, because you'll never forgive yourself if it gets any worse than it already is.

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  • by Courtknee on February 6th, 2009

    Courtknee

    Tell someone. Probably your parents. I know you promised you wouldn't tell anyone, but it would be for their own good. Whether they thank you for it right away or not.

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  • by anddeb on February 6th, 2009

    anddeb

    Tell a special teacher or tell your parents and let them tell.

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  • by Bridget on February 6th, 2009

    Bridget

    TELL! TELL! Tell a teacher or adult you trust. You will be protecting her in the long run.

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  • by Chigg on February 6th, 2009

    Chigg

    You don't say what sort of abuse or how bad.

    First try and convince your friend to tell a teacher that he/she can trust, offer to go with them.

    If that doesn't work then tell someone you trust to look in to this gently and tactfully.

    5 comments | Post one | Permalink

  • by Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo on February 6th, 2009

    Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo

    Tell someone. Immediately.
    Tell your guidance counselor or principal or homeroom teacher. No one should have to live in that kind of situation.

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