ANSWERS: 11
  • Stop trying to control her. You say you can't trust her, you weren't trusting her before. Telling her to stop talking to her friend is an asshole move. So what he doesn't like you, she does. By argueing about him you may show her you're petty, by telling her to drop him you're showing her you don't care what she wants and that you're controlling. Show her by your deeds that you are someone she wants to be with and eventually she'll tell the other guy to buzz off with bad mouthing you, especially since he doesn't know you.
  • Why should it be up to you who she's friends with? Stop trying to control her life, and maybe she'll stop lying to you.
  • Since I'm a girl, I'm going to think of reasons I might've lied to you regarding this. First, if my boyfriend told me not to talk to a certain guy who I'd known for a long time, I would definitely be offended. I might TELL him I'd stop talking to him, but only to appease him. I would think he was insecure for forbidding me to talk to a friend just because he was a guy. I'm sorry, but that's just how I'd see it. Also, saying the guy doesn't like you despite having never met you... again it makes you sound like you've got security issues, jealousy even. I wouldn't stop talking to a long-time friend no matter WHAT my boyfriend wanted. If he caught me in the "lie" so be it. It wasn't fair of him to request that I give up a trusted friend just because he was too insecure to handle me having male friends. (I'm not saying you were unfair, but ten out of ten of my girl friends would say the same thing.) On the other hand, if I were YOU, I'd think long and hard on this relationship. I don't know how long you've been dating this girl, but how many lies is too many? You know, in court, once you tell one lie it impeaches EVERYTHING else you've said, even if you'd been entirely truthful on every other question. In other words, how many lies is acceptable to you? Can you ever truly trust someone who's already proven herself to be a liar? Are you sitting up making yourself crazy trying to justify dating a known liar and wondering what the chances are she'll only ever tell you that one lie? The best thing you can do is to talk to this girl and tell her exactly what's on your mind. Tell her you're not sure what you're getting into, that her lie has made you wonder about the integrity of this whole relationship. Give her a chance to explain, if she can. If she doesn't think it's important enough to discuss, yet you've told her it's bothering you, chances are she's not willing to put any effort into this relationship and she's not worth your time. Do try and communicate with her now, tell her what's on your mind. The worst thing you can do is to sit home and wonder "what if" and "why did she"... ASK her or it will make you crazy, my friend. I hope this helps, you sound like a nice guy and perhaps one that deserves better.
  • Start by growing up. People (which your girlfriend qualifies as) will have friends. You won't like all your girlfriend's friends. She won't like yours. Deal. You need to apologize for being overbearing and controlling. Hopefully she will apologize for being deceitful and the two of you can start a new, stronger relationship. If you don't like that answer break up. She can go be with him because you want a pet, not a girlfriend.
  • You people do realize this is a troll?
  • Wow, that changes a few things. (It would be easier to "answer" a little less publicly, but I don't know how I can do that, so...) You know, I've always taken issue with a person who will listen to something derrogatory being said about someone they care about and them saying/doing nothing about it. But you said she did defend you, which is something. But staying friends with him, that's kind of saying something else entirely, and you know what they say about actions speaking loudly. Is there anything in particular he says about you that sticks out in your mind? I mean, what's his problem with you, do you know? What, I'm thinking, is keeping her friends with a drug-dealing a**hole? He doesn't sound like much of a prize to me. And 6'7 or not, don't waste any skin kicking his arse, he's definitely not worth that. What did you mean about "what she wouldn't do for her convenience?" I don't get what you mean. But I'm trying to hear you here. By the way, how strong is your relationship with her, and when you say she "hangs out" with SuperA**, do you mean she goes places with him or haves him over, or what? (And disregard the insecurity "advice" -- I don't think that's it so much now, of course.)
  • leave the girle alone !
  • I don't know what "tanking" a question means. I DO know what a troll is, though, and I don't think that's the case here. I mean, one of the reasons I answered at all is because in his profile/history it looked like he'd answered a lot of questions pretty much the way I would've. Some tongue-in-cheek, some clever, and all sincere (or that's what I thought.) That does not a troll make, in my opinion. And on a site like this one, it IS opinion that matters, after all. Having said that, what exactly is your point?
  • She was a fool to offer to stop talking to a friend, and you were a fool to try to choose her friends for her. Stop trying to manipulate and control her before she decides you aren't the one for her.
  • How do you know he calls you that and says those things about you? If it's just the two of them in the conversation, and you've never spoken to him, does she tell you? She sounds BRUTALLY honest to me! In fact, if it is her telling you he says this, I'd wonder why she'd relate that to you at all. Does she perhaps like a little drama? She must know it's only going to hurt you to know someone's called you a douche, surely? Maybe she likes seeing you upset at her friendship with him? Also, you said she'd go and see him, which is a little different than just speaking to him when their paths crossed or when in a group of mutual friends. If it were me, I would be offended if my significant other chose to "go see" someone who called me names and tried to talk him out of seeing me. It wouldn't just be a trust issue, but a "what-the-hell's-wrong-with-you" issue. You definitely hit the nail on the head when you suggested that her behavior seems to have undermined the entire relationship thus far. I can see where it would, and I'd think about how much more time you want to (lose) invest in this... it's not going to hurt any less if you put off the inevitable. The sad truth is perhaps right in front of you. You know, the better part of a year may seem like a long time to have invested in a relationship, but please trust me - it's not so long. Does she know how this has affected your feelings about the two of you?

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