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by Warhol on December 17th, 2004

Warhol

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I'm 26, she's 17. There's no sex involved, but am I a horrible or sick person for dating her?

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Answers. 24 helpful answers below.

  • by jennifer225 on January 31st, 2007

    jennifer225

    well i dont think its sick..if u like her and she likes u back then thats all that counts..when i met my boyfriend i was 15 turning 16 and he was 22 but my family saw that he was the one i wanted and the one that made me happy..but dont pay attention to what others got to say about it, listen to ur heart aand if its telling you that this is right than f*** everybody else..

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  • by Wendora on February 3rd, 2007

    Wendora

    This was 2 years ago, she is 18 now at least.

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  • by biketroy on January 9th, 2007

    biketroy

    It's not that weird, but it will get you put in jail

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  • by bonesy on January 9th, 2007

    bonesy

    yes

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  • by Warhol on December 21st, 2004

    Warhol

    No, I don't think I'm a horrible person anymore. I was thinking it for a bit there but now I don't . I don't care what others think about it anymore. I like her a lot and I do repsect her and the law. I like her for who she is not for sexual reasons despite what some people think. Thank you for you comment :)

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  • by bootlace on February 15th, 2007

    bootlace

    Why does everyone keep saying that having sex with someone under 18 is illegal? I didn't think this was true in any part of the USA, and it certainly isn't in the UK. 17 year olds are not children in my book, they are young adults, and I would have been very offended if anyone had thought otherwise of me when I was 17.

    Firstly, then, I do not think you are sick or horrible, you are both perfectly old enough to know what you are doing here. However, I think that 9 years is a pretty big age difference, which may cause real problems to a serious relationship at this point in your lives - she especially has a lot of growing up and changing to do, and this may well put a strain on any relationship.

    If you really like each other, and the age difference is not a problem for you, then you should give it a go despite the obstacles. However, from the sound of the question the age difference is a problem for you, and if this is the case then there is probably no point taking the relationship further.

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  • by 1Simmy on January 9th, 2007

    1Simmy

    The Question is, is it wierd for a 20yr old and 25 year old to be together? No it isn't. People may think the age gap is wierd because of maturity levels between the two people.

    Edited - I swear the age difference has be changed in the Question several times. Regardless 9 years younger than you when people are younger the age has a huge effect because there is a lot of maturing and growing up to do still for the younger person. I just think it's a bit weird that you'd go out with someone that is 9yrs younger than you. I mean theres loads of women your own age so why not date them?

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  • by Anonymous on February 13th, 2007

    Anonymous

    I don't think it's too bad as long as you're not doing anything physical with her.

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  • by singwell-is off researching a lot on February 15th, 2007

    singwell-is off researching a lot

    you may not be horrible or sick, because many people have age differences, but be careful not to hurt her. You can make a big difference either positively or negatively in her life.

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  • by Anonymous on August 14th, 2007

    Anonymous

    No. Girls don't change much once they are somewhere in their 16 year old year. As young women, they usually stay the same into at least their 20s. They mature earlier. Plus, in about 1/2 the states, it is consensual. Now prepubescent would be sick. She's a woman who hasn't blown out 18 candles on a cake yet. What does that really mean?

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  • by melbee on February 6th, 2007

    melbee

    If you lived in Australia, then legally it would be Ok, but it's still a little bit creepy.

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  • by Ask Misty on June 24th, 2007

    Ask Misty

    Well if it's my daughter you are dating,you better hope i dont find out!!You would not be able to get sexualy involved even if you wanted to!!!!

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  • by justme32 loves the weekends on February 1st, 2007

    justme32 loves the weekends

    I met my now ex husband when I was 17 and he was 28. I was much more mature than your average 17 year old girl. The age difference never mattered to either of us. I personally dont think you are horrible.

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  • by jfl1282 on January 31st, 2007

    jfl1282

    Your not horrible, it's a really big stretch, i JUST turned 24 and like everyone frowns upon me seeing this 17/almost 18 year old.. i hate it, but we're not dating just staying friends till she turns 18 so maybe u should do the same?

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  • by Valparaiso on December 3rd, 2006

    Valparaiso

    Not its not horrible or sick.

    But you are walking on egg shells. She's adultish (not technically an adult yet)

    But there are exceptions.

    Its definatly a no if you are in any kind of position of authority over her. Boss, teacher, clergy, etc.

    Its also a no if you are currently in a position of scrutiny. (A position where doing something "bad" but not illegal such as getting drunk could cause you to lose that position.) I am in a position like that so I always include this. I'm a confrimation teacher and I'm 24 and I know the whole church is watching so I have to pretty well mind all my p's and q's.

    If her parents are against it then you should wait til she's 18 and then it definatly makes the situation worse.

    My measuring stick is 2 questions. 1. Are you taking advantage of her? I don't belive you are. And 2, is she capable of making a mature decision? Given her age this is hard to answer unless I knew her.

    However the people around you especially her parents don't always use that measuring stick. You can't necessarily blame them because they don't want to take the slightest possible chance that you are taking advantage of her or she's being immature. And you have to admit that although that chance may be slight its still a chance that the people who have watched her grow up arn't willing to take.

    It seems like the measuring stick most people use is your age divided by 2 plus 7. 26/2=13 + 7 =20. Which means the youngest person you can date and it be socially acceptable is 20. People don't cacluate this out but the figuring seems to work out pretty well.

    Am I totally against this, no I'm not. But recognize that its thin ice where ever you walk with this.

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  • by shaggy on December 20th, 2004

    shaggy

    Do you think you're a horrible or sick person?

    Does she?

    Seems to me that's all that matters, granted of course that you are treating her with the respect that she deserves.

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  • by Warhol on February 15th, 2007

    Warhol

    Yeah it was a little while back when I has posted it.. I have lived and learned since then that although to some it did not seem wrong (me at the time) in retospect it was. I had no business dating someone so young. I really don't know what I was thinking. I was in a real bad place then and really had no hope for many things so when she showed interest in me I ran with it. She was the only good thing goin for me at the time. We went on for 7 months and one day stopped by and said she didn't love me anymore. I expected that and took it for what it was and have since moved on.

    I don't suggest anyone to date anyone underage or even way younger than them. There are some it might work for but in most cases it doesn't.

    I do appreciate all of your feedback and I hope that everyone out there that thought I was some sick child molester can understand where I was and that I'm sorry.

    Warhol

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  • by Firebrand on January 31st, 2007

    Firebrand

    As long as you are taking care of her moral welfare and no sex is involved No you are not weird or horrible.
    In Britain since the age of consent is 16 this question would not even be on debate

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  • by marcjacobs on January 31st, 2007

    marcjacobs

    yes you are horrible and sick! First I am a parent of a beautiful model like soon to be 16 year old daughter. And if it was my daughter you would defintely have a probelm Mr. Man! What could you have in common with a 17 year old child? How would you feel if you were a parent and this was your child? think of that I believe if you put yourself in that situation even for a moment you would see that it just is not right to be dating a child. She can't vote, drink, or enter into a upscale night club So Why? Are you not attracted to women your own age?

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  • by larsylover on October 6th, 2005

    larsylover

    You are not a horrible person. I am so sick of people saying there are things mentally wrong with the guy for dating someone younger. I am 15 dating a 24 year old guy and We love eachother so much!!! You can totally love someone with all you heart without there being sex. If you two ever decide to just be careful or wait untill she is 18. I love it how people think it is all ok if both people are over the age of 18, then it doesnt matter how much of a difference there is. SO STUPID, dont sweat it. Have a nice day!

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  • by cristnalyn on February 1st, 2007

    cristnalyn

    I think you are playing with fire a bit but if you two can stay close without breaking laws and when she is a bit older see where things are then try it. If it is real you will still be dating when she is 19 or 20 and you can make it a more serious relationship.

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  • by misunderstood on February 1st, 2007

    misunderstood

    I think that as long as you don't have sex, it's cool. I am doing the same thing, but Im 20 and she's 16. Just act like there ARE NO laws and it will work out fine as long as your not VERY stupid about it ya know. Just try and not piss others off who could call the cops on ya.

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  • by nevets - badgicide on January 31st, 2007

    nevets - badgicide

    Well...

    It's a 9 year age gap which is not really so much when you are older, but at the moment it is huge.

    The age-gap between you is greater than half her age. I really don't think its a good idea to pursue this relationship.

    Are you horrible or sick? No.

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  • by altgirl84 on February 6th, 2007

    altgirl84

    Depends on why you're dating her. The age doesn't really bother me, she's only another year before being legal. Obviously if you're just looking to wear her down for sex then yeah. But if it's a real relationship where you really love, or are heading in that direction and respect her than no not at all. Even if you're just having fun that's fine too as long as no one gets hurt. All about compatibility. Age isn't a factor, I'm 22 and 'with' a 43 year old.

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